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"The distance between insanity an genius is measured only by success"...JM This page began 7/16/07 and I would like to thank all of the Beautiful Ladies of BlackPlanet that accepted my invitation... I don't have much to say, not too good at tootin' my own horn... Thank you for your time, patience and consideration during the reconstruction of this page...
RELATIONSHIPS 101: I found this article...thought it was interesting... "Screwed-up people are not more interesting than people with their heads together. Baggage is not fascinating, romantic, or exciting. It is very, very tiring. Men who are polite and emotionally mature are hot. Learn it, love it, live by it... I have no idea whom to blame for the romantic mythology surrounding brooding, emotionally limited, narcissistic yahoos. I'm tempted to chalk it up to movies, where most men who start out as selfish jerks are eventually revealed to be wounded birds of some sort. Or it might be the uglier side of the therapy culture, which tempts you with the idea that these jerks might be amenable to solution, like crossword puzzles... For whatever reason, there are a surprising number of women who are attracted to guys who can't commit, who can't relate, who can't get along with anyone, who can't tell the truth? These guys get a lot of action... It's not that women really want jerks, exactly. I think it's a matter of mistaking emotional clutter for emotional complexity. Here's an analogy: Imagine a messy apartment. You walk in, you survey your surroundings, and there's an incredible quantity of stuff lying around. Books in tall stacks, Chinese food containers in the corners, DVDs in and out of boxes scattered around the TV? The place is in chaos. And while you wouldn't really want to live there, there might be some part of you that would look around and grudgingly admit, "There's a lot going on here". Now, imagine the same apartment, once somebody has managed to get it cleaned up. The books are on the shelves, the trash is thrown away, the DVDs are alphabetized. This is a much nicer place to live. But it's a little, you know, boring. And that's in spite of the fact that the same books are being read, the same food is being eaten, and the same DVDs are being watched. You're just in the presence of a person who knows how to clean up after himself. I think that for a lot of women, guys in turmoil seem strangely fascinating, as if they are, by definition, more interesting than everyone else. There's more of that clutter, so there's more going on, and there's more to sink your teeth into, and there's maybe even more emotional depth to such a person. Let me tell you something about the guys I know who are emotionally mature. The ranks of the healthy and rational include plenty of guys who have been in rehab, or been divorced, or seen their parent's marriages end horribly, or had their own dreams thwarted in some ugly way...all the things that creeps are fond of waving around as explanations for why they lie or cheat on you or generally continue to be creeps. The difference is that the healthy and rational people have at least undertaken the process of digesting all of that stuff and placing it in some sort of perspective so that it doesn't have to become your problem. They know from suffering, just as much as the ones who sit around brooding into their beers and writing free verse and dragging everyone else into their little theater of agony. The sane ones are still working on their crap, too...who isn't? The difference is that they're not fetishizing their own misery or asking you to embrace it. And that's a benefit to you, because the only thing you can guarantee yourself about that kind of hair-pulling drama is that if you cuddle up next to it, it'll get on you. You're going to get plenty of emotional complications from anyone. Even people who have their lives very well pulled together are going to give you lots of opportunities to practice patience and understanding. There's no point in starting out with someone who isn't even trying"...
Excerpt from another article...Mr Big's Beautiful Friends have been attracting a few gentlemen to this page..for those of you that stopped by, I offer YOU this... "Assuming you're not dating a college student, most women you date will have their own lunch money. The questions you must ask yourself before those early dates are: Was she raised a feminist? Would she find it insulting if you automatically picked up the tab? Or was she raised with more old-fashioned beliefs? As a woman who never assumes a man will pay for her drinks (hey, Bombay Sapphire is expensive!) and who has money of her own, it's hard for me to imagine assuming I'll get a free ride in this regard. Yet, many women do... My advice to the man is to tune in to her during the date and try to get a handle on her philosophy. And failing that, when the bill comes, take her lead. If she reaches for her wallet and you were charmed enough to want to treat her, wave her off. "Oh, let me get it this time!" (The "this time" implies both that you want to see her again, and you appreciate her gesture.)... And if the woman doesn't reach for her wallet, then you know you're dating a P.P.(a pampered pet). It's up to you to decide what to do with that information. And if the woman insists on buying (as I have sometimes, when I did the inviting), you'll have to decide how to handle that potential blow to your masculine pride. The bottom line is: It's gallant to offer, but be gracious if being paid for doesn't suit a woman's philosophy"...J.G. Hmmm.. |
