Artistikfiasc0 Sicker than your average.. - October 27, 2011 add/view comments (0)

• 23 years ago, something miraculous happened in the City of Portland, OR. Me. :)
•  I am gayer than a glowstick vibrator powered by glitter.
• Functional Pothead.
• Heinz 57 in the hizouse.
• I wake up in the morning, throw on the closest thing to me and roll out like a gangster.
• I am a NERD. I love anime porn, vampires, and I am a completely derranged and DEDICATED pianist..
• I accept and welcome all different strokes of folks! COEXIST mothereffers.
• I love to have fun doing fun things in fun places. You don't? Suq much wang.
• If my life had a had a theme song, it would involve brushing my teeth with a bottle of Jack.
• I have enough makeup to makeover a whole third world country. Yet, I barely wear any.
• Nag Champa incense are the bee's knees. Incense are just the s*** period.
• If I could have a superpower, it'd be shapeshifting.
• If I came with a warning label, it'd read: Turn off swag at night, or said product will wake up covered in b****es.
• I love boobies. Little ones. If it's more than a mouthful/handful, I don't want em.
• FAMILY GUY, FTW!
• I have a dimple, her name is Veronica.
• GIRLS! All I really want is girls! Yeah, Beastie Boys know what I like.
• I drive down the road dancing like a gay boy. Honk if you see me. Hey!
• Orchids are my favorite flower. Exotic and reminds me of %#&@$!s.
• Music is my life in every aspect. MJ, Joplin & Alanis are my inspiration.
• I have a problem with exclamation points. Guess I am too excited about what the f*** I be saying yo.
• In an ideal life, I would be gyno to the stars. Only Cher, Madonna and Alanis though.
• Photography is awesome. Beautiful photos really rock my stripey socks!
• "I'm sexy, I'm a scholar, people like me". No really though.
• Liar Liar is my all-time favorite movie(my all-time favorite movie changes daily).
• Jim Carrey is a f***ing comical genius.. I quote him on a daily basis.
• I hate the word: festering.
• I'm laid back like the driver's seat of a Cadillac.
• I don't shave my armpits. Problem?
• I love to travel. I want to see the world from the drivers seat of a VW bus.
• I'm corny. Bet you'll laugh though. Or not. That's cool too.
• I have six tattoos and some piercings. ;)
• Shoes you can find on my feet are: Connies & Toms.
• I love the beach...and hot girls in bikinis.
• Skinny jeans make me melt. On myself & others.
• I am in pursuit of happiness. Not the temporary kind. The kind of happiness that makes you want to kick up your feet and eat a Yoplait .
• Favorite foods: sushi & tacos.
• Favorite color: Green. Not just one shade, many.
• Last but not least, I aint s***. So stop stalking my page already. :)

THE WEIRD STUFF:

•  When I touch a certain material that doesn't agree with my skin, such as Velvet or wool, I spit on the tips of my fingers and rub them together until the feeling goes away.
• I put ketchup ("catsup") or Red Hot on damn near everything.
• I have this weird disorder where my feet never stop moving.Something like restless leg syndrome but just the feet. You'll see. LOL.
• I can't take hot showers. The hot water feels overwhelming on my skin and I start to feel claustrophobic.
• Watching Seinfeld makes me feel normal! The characters are all completely insane, obsessive, and ridiculous! It may be old school but I am a fan for life! "That seems about right".
• I love the smell of rubber cement.

**Of course there is more.. Stay tuned motherwhatters.**

KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD
(thats an actual slogan)
:)