BIGD112 - add/view comments ()

Apology for a Black Woman

I apologize black woman for all the seen and unseen lies.

For all the heartache and pain that brought tears to your eyes.

I apologize black woman for not being true from the start.

For running away from you and leaving a hole in your heart.

For ignoring your feelings and setting them aside because I was too damn arrogant and pumped up with pride.

I apologize for making promises that I could not keep.

For building a foundation built on trechery and deceit.

Being selfish and inconsiderate I did what I wanted to do.

Making costly decisions not thinking of you.

I apologize for not holding you through those restless nights and stormy days.

For my immature thoughts and foolish ways. Instead of carrying your love with me, I threw it on a shelf.

After we made love I turned over only thinking of myself.

You cried your heart out for me, while I was out running loose.

I destroyed the essence of your love with physical, mental, and emotional abuse.

I gave you hell black woman by giving up when times got rough.

I didn`t slap you I pushed you, even that`s bad enough.

Now I see why you build a wall around you because it`s me you despise.

But that`s the price I have to pay for all the times I wore a disguse.

I pray to God that one day you realize.

That I LOVE YOU BLACK WOMAN AND I APOLOGIZE.



That up there ain't nothing to do with me....I mean I feel the brotha but that's his problem. I just thought it would catch your attention. Ok I may be guilty of one or two or something but this isn't about me it's about him...and her!



UPDATE Oct.14, 2009


: My wants and my needs.....What i want might not actualy be what i need. I know i need a woman for more than just her physical features and her God spirit I know this. I know i need a woman for more than just security. I feel like i run into more older experinced women or younger inexperienced women more than i run into women my own age you know? Don't get me wrong i'm not complaing it's just time is a factor with everything and none of us here are gettting any younger. I'm 30 and i deserve a woman that's made for me. This may take a lifetime....but if i find her then it was well worth the wait!(I'm lying bout that part) I hope. What kind of woman am i looking for? Hmmm??Now that's a good question. You know at 1st I was just looking for the physical features(I still am) you know, what catches my eye but I see now that, I don't think that's working for me right now. I want a woman with a nice shape, bottom and top, between 100lbs AND UP ( yes i love some meat on the bone), cute face between the ages of 27 and 35 (I think i'm lying bout that part too)and minimum of 2 kids(that goes without saying).good job, it doesn't have to be the best but something and some kind of religous beleifs.Oh and by the way i'm 5'8 5-9 somewhere up in there! I'm not saying this is what I need this is what i want (i think)... If you're under 25 with or without kids you probaly have a lot of aspirations on being something one day or maybe you're still trying to find yourself, maybe i'm wrong(i'm probaly right though).... What do I have to offer? Not much...just some stability in my life. Women these days aren't anything like they use to be, they think more and more like man everyday...which is scary. Women do as much of running around as men do kids or not. If you told me to wait till the kids go to sleep, you probaly told somebody else as well. Now I don't know what i want. . I try to be a good father, son, brother and friend, but I swear! I just have the damnest problem getting into a relationship. I know my wall is up it stays up. It protects me. I guess i've been single for so long now that, i've kind gotten set in my own ways.My guard has been up for so long now, that's it's hard to put down, (SOMEBODY OUT THERE KNOW WHAT I MEAN) but see now I Feel well actually I know I'm a lot more mature now than the past, my way of understanding women has become much more adhesive, and i'm starting to realize my own faults. At the beginning of the year on New yrs. eve. I bought it in in church AMEN!, but as soon as I left church I went back to my crib got out my clothes and into some regular ones and i started thinking of having some company over tonight would be nice Everyone I knew was out parrtying and having a good time while i was trying to do the right thing(kind of sort of) but thinking about the the wrong thing. The point i'm trying to make is being single is alright, but when you ain't got nobody to call your own you alone. I often get asked the question "What am I looking for in a woman?" Right now it's kind of hard to say, i mean i've had my gurad up for so long now that it's hard for me to let people get close you know?She has to be willing to accept me for my faults and shortcomings(WHATEVER THAT IS) and vica versa. She has to be willing to bring to the table a sense of stability and comfort. I like all women, you know, i try not to stereotype peolple and put them in certain catergories especially if you know nothing about them.I`m not on blackplanet to try and find love, just a friend. I been hurt a couple of times, couple meaning two, and I feel that`s 2 too many. So really all i`m looking for now a friend to share some time with.BUT if something more comes out of our friendship and we both feel like it's something else to it then I guess we gotta go for it. A little more about me is, is that I got out of the army on Oct 7. 2002....lucky me huh? But as for now I plan on living here in Fayetteville for a while. I have 1 child, a little boy name Syone ( it is pronounced as SCION) he's 6 now he's a Jan.1 baby a lil capricorn, unlike me a Mighty LEO.Well that`s about it if you want to know anything else send me a note and I`ll get back with you..I Promise and I always keep my promises (sometimes)Well take care. My yahoo im is dlwilliams8879. peace.