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How many times do you hear from your man that you are nagging him? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the things you are constantly complaining (nagging) about and not getting any change, may mean that you may be the one who needs to change. I do not mean to change how you feel about things just maybe you need to change your relationship. If you find yourself consistantly needing him to change in order to fit into your world then maybe he is not the one for you. We at times tend to recognize a few qualities that are compatible with us and ignore the RED flags of incompatibility. "Thinking that we can change what we do not like." Let's be honest. If you have to change either yourself or someone else for it to work, then maybe it just shouldn't be. Yes, there are compromises in all relationships but love should not hurt or stress. If it is important that he calls when he is going to be late for dinner, then a relationship with a man who has no respect for time is not the one for you. If he has the need to ALWAYS be with his friends, excluding you, this too is another RED FLAG that he may not be the one. We all should take inventory of what is important to us in a relationship and stop trying to force what will not fit. We will all be happier in the long run. Stop living by the "What God has put together let NO man pull apart." Has God really put it together is the one question that we should really be asking. Just because you get married in a church by a preacher does not mean that God put the marriage together. Stop thinking that because he tells you that he loves you, means that he loves you. What does he show you? Is he open to you and your feelings? Does what you say and how you feel matter? How does he speak to you? Does he respect you in all things? Does he love his children? If a man denies his children for a woman then in my opinion he is NOT a man at all. Just think about this...If you had children with him and you end up not together would he treat your children the way that he treated the children of the other woman. Does he only take care of the children that are in the house with them? Or as I like to state, "No A**, No CASH."

There is a lot of give and take in relationships, some of us seem to give more than we take, failing to leave enough for ourselves. I had to learn the hard way dealing with greedy demanding men who the more I gave the more they required and the less they gave. It took some time before I learned how to just walk away and that it didn't mean failure when it didn't work. It just meant that he wasn't the one for me. I can only speak from a womans point of view. Men when she loves you accept it as just that, she loves you. All of this having to prove a point and that you can over power her mentally or physically does not mean that you are a man. Have you ever thought that some times she allows you to win just to end the conflict? It takes too much time to deal with trivial matters when there are more important things at hand. Why would you see just how far you can push a woman? I know that I do not like being pushed and one push is too many and is just enough to push me away. I do not tolerate anyone trying to dominate me. We are adults, at least I know that I am and I hope that any man I am with is an adult. Now if he shows childish ways and proves to not be fully grown then I help to plant him back in the garden of adolesence giving him a chance to mature. I know that there is going to be some misunderstanding with what I have to say. Some of you will instantly think that I do not like men and again I will have to say " I LOVE MEN, I DO NOT LIKE BOYS IN THE BODIES OF MEN." I know that I am not the desire of every mans heart nor would I want to be. That being said...Just because you may be attracted to me doesn't mean that I am attracted to you. I am a complicated woman with many layers. If a man is unable to attract and keep me attracted on many levels then I WILL LOSE INTEREST. It's not a maybe it is a fact. I can not be with a simple minded man who has limited conversation.

I have had a lot on my mind and heart here lately. Love and Life issues. Constantly being faced with reality and consistantly working on being the best example and mother for my daughter. We have to get away from the FAIRY TALES (an unbelieveable or untrue story) That we teach our chldren about love and life. We put into the heads of our daughters that Prince Charming will come along and that after the Fairy Tale wedding life will be be perfect. We fail to mention that the wedding is one day and that more preparation should go into the marriage than the wedding. We fail to mention that even her prince is human and has feelings and emotions, good and bad days just like eveyone else. We fail to mention that 50/50 is not reasonable and that we must strive to give 100% of ourselves daily. We fail to mention that once we become parents there is no place for selfishness and that selflessness should be practiced in all things. We fail to mention that in for richer or poorer means that there is bound to be a poorer before a richer and happiness should not be determined in a bank account. Sometimes you do what you would rather not just to make the one you love smile. I know that I would walk a thousand miles to see my man smile. We fail to inform our sons that a wife is a gift from God and that he should cherish, honor and respect her in all things. This is the woman that he has chosen to marry to be the mother of his children, to be his mate hopefully for life. So fathers show your sons what it is to be a man. Only show him loving ways towards his mother. Mothers be an example for them to make a sound decision when chosing a woman. He will usually use you as an example of the type of woman that he wants. Have you been a good mother to him, loved him and taught him how to love. Fathers did you show your sons that women are to be respected not disrespected, hugged not hit? I had to say it I see and hear of it too often and frankly I have grown exhausted from the lack of love I witness daily.

INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION IS SO HARD TO COME BY.

I know that it just as hard on men. Always being judged on what you do and do not have. What can you buy me? What bills are you willing to pay? So many women are selling themselves for the companionship of a man. So many men feel that they have to get hair and nails done. They have to pay bills and buy clothing not to mention pay a car note. NOW IF SHE IS REALLY A WOMAN AND SHE REALLY CARES FOR YOU. Then she would not expect you to do those things for her. All of these things come in time if they are to come at all. Now if I need your help I will ask, but I do not expect you to be my savior or provider of all my wants needs and desires.

I am saying all of this because...I am tired of hearing the same old stories and lines. I am tired of everyone complaining about someone else and not working on who they need to be. If we all worked on being the right person then we could meet the right person. Call me hopeful. I must be hopeful. If I lost hope then there would be no chance. We as a people can really disheartening and tired at time. Here it seems like tired most of the time. Please help me to regain my hopefulness.


He knows who he is and what he means to me. He'll know me when he sees me and he will touch me in places that have never been touched. He knows that for him there is no end to what happiness can bring. He also knows that with each day our love will grow stronger. He is...who I need him to be.

It's been a long time, but now I am back, feeling the same as always. Black men are beautiful to me. So Black men, please do not disappoint me by proving the sterotypes to be correct. I would love to reconnect with old friends and make some new friends as well. So prepare yourself for the conversation of a lifetime that will allow you to think and be yourself with out judgement. It is what it is.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing.

CSunshine

Can someone please tell me why we have gotten away from treating each other with respect? Would you want a man talking disrespectfully to your mother or sister not to mention your daughter? Then why speak that way to someone elses mother, sister or daughter? Why does dinner mean you expect to get a trip to the pay by the hour motel? The conversation should be enough. Can we talk about? If a woman is kind enough to prepare you a meal then be man enough to ask if she needs you to bring something to drink (it doesn't mean liquor) or dessert (this doesn't mean you with whip cream). Take the time to pick out a nice card and tell us how you appreciate us. Flowers are nice candles are better. If you love us let us know or someone else will. Part of being a man is knowing how to appreciate and respect a woman.

To explain the depth of my emotion, to paint a picture for you to see.

Is something near impossible.

He is beautiful to me.

For you to feel this feeling that penetrates my being and calms my every storm.

For you to close your eyes and see what visions I behold.

He is beautiful to me.

For one to be so perfect in every way I need.

For one to complete the puzzle for all the world to see.

He is beautiful to me.

I say HOPEFUL romatic. Hopeful because I believe that romance is not dead it just needs to be brought back to life. We have gotten away from being good to one another.

Hopefully through my page I will touch the heart of a black man. Hopefully his eyes will open and he will know his worth and potential. Hopefully he will know that he is loved by this black woman. Stay strong my brotha`s they do not come any better than you.

Question: Brotha`s, why is it so hard for you to love us the way we are?

To every Black man..

for every time you`ve heard the word no

for every time you`ve heard the word n****r

for every time a woman has clutched her purse and crossed the street as you casually walked down the street going about your own business

for every time society has seen fit to try and put you in your place

for every time you`ve been categorized and sterotyped

for every hard day`s work you`ve put in

for every silent tear you`ve cried for your children

for every time you reached out and no one was there

for each and every time you`ve had to fight just to be seen as a M-A-N..

....this is for YOU

Loving a Black Man

The first thing you must understand

There`s no easy way to love a black man

You`ve got to figure him out learn what he is about and know he`s someone you can`t live without

Then kill him with kindness shower him with sweetness but never let him mistake you kindness for weakness

It`s hard for him to give himself to you so be appreciative of the little things he tries to do

Let him know he can confide in you and in return he won`t have to hide things from you.

Be supportive be his friend not his foe

When he makes a mistake don`t say I told you so

Be understanding not demanding

Let him unwind he faces a world of rain so be his sunshine

Don`t get too cozy in the comfort zone

You`ll take him for granted and end up alone

Keep love exciting and new go that extra mile keep finding new ways to make him smile

Remember to be sexy because without a doubt he wants to be proud when he takes you out

Don`t let yourself go don`t forget about you

love yourself and he will love you too

Don`t smother the man let him breathe

The tighter you hold on the faster he will leave and when you love him love him all the way down

Don`t be afraid to explore him pound for pound

If you don`t give him what he needs to feel I guarantee you that someone else will

Be honest be patient and demand respect and a wonderful black man is what you`ll get

Show him your pride

Stand by his side

Let God be you guide and love will abide