This Page is just some of the thoughts of
MzCatNJ (please send all
notes and comments to MzCatNJ. I look forward to hearing what you
think. I don't communicate through this
page.)
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PUT GOD FIRST AND YOU
WILL ALWAYS WIN!
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Sometimes I look at my past and think to myself What was wrong with
me??
Oftentimes I reflect on choices that have changed the course of my
life, for the better and for the worse.
I have found myself thinking on specific people I've chosen to
place in my circle of friends in the past and said Was I retarded
or something? I saw that they were this and that and those things
didn't amount to anything in the end. A very close and dear friend
of mine has been making me think of things this week and ponder on
my life. Hey Wonderful!
I was more childish than I thought I was in my early 20s. I made
choices for temporal reasons. I didn't know my worth. I smoked a
pack and a half of cigarettes a day even though it was torturous on
the voice God gave me to bless people with and praise Him with.
 I smoked anyhow - faithfully. Living life just not
thinking about the bigger picture - My Life.
I know that age gives us more wisdom IF WE CHOOSE IT and I guess my
turning points were at 2 periods for me 24 and 30. I realize that
there were a lot of things I could have avoided and a lot of things
I could have been blessed with, if I would have just did thus and
so ..
I stayed in an abusive marriage because I thought it was right by
biblical means but my error was before the marriage consummated
choosing a man that had anger issues even though it wasn't directed
at me before the honeymoon. We can choose things that will kill us
(emotionally, spiritually and physically) or give us life
I choose now to live life to the fullest, to smile as much as
humanly possible, to create, to pour into people, to be a blessing,
to be around people that want to be productive and not just make
money, people who want to make a difference in the lives of
others.
I ain't all deep and philosophical, most of y'all know I'm as silly
as it gets BUT today is the first day of the rest of my life and I
have visions and dreams and goals that I WILL bring to life, with
God's help. Hey, now is the time. Is Ya Wit Me??? (-:
~Ms. Cat~
10/19/2006
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Here are 3 poems; 3 pages of my heart. This is not the
extent of my heart just some of things I have in it. I may switch
these up, I may not. Never really put it out for all to see before
so here goes...
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AM I A PUNK?
...for running from emotional ties like a an unarmed soldier behind
enemy lines runs from bullets?
...for guarding my heart like a frightened child clings to a
parent's leg?
...for keeping my feelings separate as if operating a business,
being careful not to invest too much time, too much effort, too
much of me?
...for being sure not to pour myself into anyone like a banker is
sure not to put money into a stock that has already hit rock
bottom?
Am I a punk or just careful? -by Cat 2006
______________________________ _____________
HOW
How many times can a woman give her heart, give her all, to
something with no return, no harvest?
How much pain can a heart endure before it goes cold, bleeds to
death, or just stops beating?
How can a woman make herself vulnerable, uncovered, exposed time
and time again to someone who could violate the most basic of
trusts? Just to be understood, heard, felt?
How can one woman endure screaming when needing to be listened to?
Yelling as she stood silent? Utter disrespect when she shared her
deepest pains? Fussing when she never did one thing to deserve
abuse?
How did she emotionally survive it all? Escaping without scratch,
scab, scar, sorrow or regret?
How? -by Cat 2006
______________________________ _____________
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
The shade of brown that my eyes are or,
The joy expressed through them?
The color of shadow on their lids or
The emotions behind their movement?
What do you see?
Can you see only the high gloss?
Only the whiteness of my teeth?
Only the thickness of my lips?
Or the words that come out in love and wisdom?
What do you see?
Does it matter the length of my hair?
Does the color tell you anything?
What about what`s under my hair?
Can you look deeper than the surface?
What do you see?
We all can exist just looking at the superficial things.
Although they may be factual there should be more.
Do you see more than the bare eye can show you?
Can you see the reality?
I am more than the face you look at.
I am more than my title at work says about me.
What do you see?
I am more than a C-Cup and size 12 jeans.
I am more than a wet mouth and hole.
I am more than long legs.
When you look at me what do you see?
bY cAT 2006
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Big 30 Test Results
Sociability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 95%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||| 40%
Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||| 51%
Activity Level |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Enthusiasm |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 93%
Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Trust |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 95%
Submissiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 88%
Altruism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 94%
Cooperation |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 93%
Modesty ||||||||||||||| 46%
Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 89%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 84%
Confidence |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 91%
Neatness ||||||||||||||||||||| 61%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 68%
Achievement |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Self-Discipline |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 72%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 73%
Anxiety ||| 4%
Volatility ||| 2%
Depression ||| 7%
Self-Consciousness ||| 5%
Impulsiveness |||||| 19%
Vulnerability ||| 3%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 94%
Imagination ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||| 75%
Introspection |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 81%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 99%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 84%
Liberalism ||||||||| 23%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Take this test at http://similarminds.com/big30. html
