Fighting For
Love.....
I need what I need,
when I need it! I'm fighting for love....
My belly lingers with
doubt, while my mind captures the thoughts of my fantasy's in thin
air. Then I hollar, I scream, "Where is my, I Love You's?" " Where
are my passions, rushing passion to be with
me?"
It's not coming from
you, but I want it to.......I am fighting for love, your
love!
He-motions are his
emotions of now....this present moment, the present moment of
passion and lust.....it must be love!
So fight with me,
play with me, war with me girl, through my fight for
love!
I need you
now....your immediate desire for me, I need it! Your immediate love
for me, I need it! Your immediate trust in me, I need it! I need
your feelings to mimic my own heart.....now, at this very moment,
dammit, I am still waiting!
I am fighting for
love, your love........our love!
What caused this
struggle, this tussle that's bombarding my mind, her banishment of
loves desires caused this fight in me! Her and I, we are playing
tug-a-war for her heart; she pulls away with doubts of me.....my
devotion to her, my cherishing of her, my love for her......she
doubts it, ALL OF IT ! Her fears makes me pull
more..........Dammit, I wish I could pull her to me and lock her in
permanantly!
Dammit I am
fighting........Why am I here, still
fighting?
Love is not a
fleeting passion that suddenly goes away when I say go!!! She makes
me so mad with her lack of faith in me, her moments of surety in
our love, followed by her quick moments of leaving me
again!
But I still
fight........this girl is troubled, but still, I fight! She is
tramatic, yet and still, I can't let go.......Damn, Love is not a
fleeting feeling.......She's gonna love me
SOMEDAY!!!
I'm fighting with her
past, I'm fighting with her pain, I fighting with the hurt
inflicted on her by other fellas, I'm fighting with her
insecurities so deeply ingrained in
her......
I'm willing to
fight.......like no man has ever fought for her before!
Consistantly, passionately, faithfully, I will fight for her soul
to live, for love to live inside of
her.
Only one of us is
strong right now and that person is me, so until she heals, I will
fight for her.......to revive her beautiful heart.......her
beautiful soul!
I am Love........
Real LOVE!
Mommy Told me She Love
Me....
(For My Little
Angel)
Little Angel Girl of
the Sky and Schools....
Do your mother proud,
love beyond the hurt of fools
Life is holding for
you, its' wings of fulfillment, devoid yourself of mommy's
mistakes.....
I always knew you
would do it!
This precious seed is
one better than my own existance...you go forth into this world and
make a difference.
Mommy's life had no
meaning until you came along, Angel child from the sky, singing
your peaceful song.
In your eyes I seen a
vision more beautiful than myself, for once I felt complete, you
made me have hope in myself.
For everyday that I
breath, I breath a breath for your happiness, hoping that my life
will bring you love and fulfillment.
Let me make sure you
know that mommy loves you so! When the World trys to tell you
differently, you will always know!
Jassy, you're a
Queen! Never let earth's darkness beset your majestic radiance, for
you are the most beautiful thing.
Nay-sayers will try
to destort your importance, by-pass them! Jealous women will insist
that you are not important, by-pass them! Males will try to bring
you to their own low standards, by-pass them.....a Queen is not fit
for trivial people and the Savior has not made you a trivial
Soul.
You were born
magnificent, beautiful, thoughtful, independent, quick-minded,
creative, artistic and intelligent.....my child was truly born of
Yah's (Gods) divinity! Stay true to your soul, always allow Yah
(God) to lead your mind, know that your mommy will love you
forever.......
Through everything
and beyond time!
I love
you!
WHEN TROUBLE WOKE
UP......
When trouble woke
up.....I was abused!
Slammed down and stripped
of every ability to trust.......at age 5, I
realized......TROUBLE!!!
Trouble woke up angry
too.....lashing out hurt on innocent children, women and men too!
Lord....trouble was a terror! For many of us, trouble, that no good
devil, became our biggist NIGHTMARE; coming back, time after
time.......first with abandonement, then with rape, then with
torture! That damn devil, trouble....took my sanity, my family and
my virginity, all in one lifetime! GOD I WISH TROUBLE WOULD HAVE
JUST STAYED SLEEP!!!!
Trouble was a horror that
I wanted to kill time and time again! The law told me that I can't
kill trouble or else I would have trouble for killing trouble! I
laid back , losing my head each time trouble came back! The more
trouble came after me, the more I became like trouble. I became
angry, upset, painfully confused, bitter and destorted! Like
trouble, I wanted someone to pay for my conflict with trouble.
Somebody was gonna get trouble from me, because trouble caused me
so much TROUBLE!
Trouble hurt me, scorned
me, molested me and drove my loved ones away from me! Trouble had
me locked and pinned down with depression on my back! Suicidal
thoughts became my best friend. I figured it was the only way I
could get rid of trouble. I was so desperate to get rid of that
demon, TROUBLE...... I would just resort to any method when trouble
woke up!
When trouble woke up and
left me broke, with no home and no way to pay my bills, I said,
"Maybe Alcohol will get rid of that damn devil, alcohol will put
trouble to sleep."
But no.....Trouble woke
up.....AGAIN!!!
"Drugs.....crack, meth,
weed, heroin, e-pills.......that should do it! Hurry up and leave
me trouble, everyone hates you anyway......can't you just go away?
DAMN!!!"
Ohh but
no........Suicide, alcohol, drugs, depression,
violence.......nothing put trouble back to sleep! I consemplated
resting in paradise one more time, but then there was no guarantee
that TROUBLE wouldn't follow me into the world of
death........
So, trouble woke
up...wakes up and won't die away
So I'm still dealing
with it.......&Aci rc; trouble
All of us are still
dealing with it........TROUBLE!
DAMN.
