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Our Next Waiting To Exhale Moment" .. Meantime have fun and enjoy Life... I've just moved to Los Angeles, just as I said I would (Big smile). The difference between a girl and a woman is, a girl just "wants" and a woman "knows what she wants" and doesn't just stop for anyone till she finds it; and she knows the difference between a man and a good man!~~~~~ The best expression and manifestation of love is understanding. The answer to ever lasting love is LEARNING to saying I love you a thousand ways, and not having to say too many, I'm sorry. The key to a successful marriage is not letting the bedroom become the act of too much redundancies.. I am mostly here to network and meet creative people. I believe that the man that I am to meet will be someone who will all of a sudden just manifest when I least expect it. I like people who have lot's of style, class and carry themselves well. I like people who have wisdom and have learned from the success and their failures. I WRITE, I LIKE TO WRITE AND EXPRESS MYSELF On BP, as if you couldn't tell(smile) I WOULD LIKE TO MEET FRIENDS, real folks.. I would like to meet NEW FRIENDS who love to hang-out and go to festivals and listen to Jazz near the ocean. I love going to a concert, or going to see a comedy show as in; Katt Williams, Chris Rock etc. I listen to, Jamie Fox, T. I. AKON, John Legend, Seal, Rick Ross, Peter White and all the Jazz you could mention. Stop by and say hello and let see if we can paint the town. I would also like to connect with some producers,(go ahead and laugh) but I would like to learn how to produce music, I've wanted to learn since I was a kid. I never had the opportunity because of the huge responsibility of raising my children. Now, they are all grown, I have a chance to concentrate on my creative side. I have a great love for music, writing, video production, photography and anything artsy. My spiritual side: First of all, I would like to thank God for my family and the friends that I've been blessed with. Nothing is more important then family and true friends. Our lives are sometimes nothing more than a whisper in the wind and we must make sure to try and make a difference in each others lives, in a positive way no-matter what. Bringing a smile to a child face, touching a homeless man/woman on the street and saying I love you by any kind gesture. Doing random act of kindness with strangers is a powerful thing. Try it sometimes it takes some getting use to, but it's worth it. Measure your own heart in things like: Being able to walk away from a bleeding heart, that say a lot about who you are as a person. Turning our backs away from tragedies like New Orleans/Katrina says a lot about us as a people. I believe that's why we are left on earth with all the dilemmas of the world, every single one of them, because we will be measured/judged upon how we react to these tragedies. We are made whole into Gods true purpose in our life by acting upon these dilemmas and doing something about them. Allowing these circumstance to mold our lives and allowing it to keep our ego's in check, but only if we are paying attention and taking notes, can we truly grow (smile) Truth of the matter is, as they say and I "there is a fine line between love and hate" so what are you made out of? My musical side: I love all music, Contemporary Jazz, R&B and some good Rap music with a good beat and almost all the Lyrics(smile)...What can I say they can't help themselves, I guess (LOL). I love going to concerts, festivals, comedy clubs and Laugh my butt off.. to Katt Williams and all those funny guys that really keep it going for all of us who love to laugh....(R.I.P. BERNIE MACK) My funny side: To warn you for starters, my profile is one that will take about 3 or more days to read... so make me your friend so you can come back and visit. I am a writer, as if you couldn't tell by my site(LOL)(Big smile)I haven't published one yet but I have a couple in the works and ten in mind there after. So stay tuned in and I will make sure I promote them on BP, that is why I have so many friends just in case you might be wondering.. My Life: I THINK I DID EVERYTHING BACKWARDS (lol) BUT MANAGED TO COME OUT OK AND BE SANE ENOUGH TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.. (lol) You can throw me out on my back and like a cat, I spring to my feet before I hit the floor. Cool, but I'm getting a little too old for that maneuver (LOL) so Ive taken a few doses of the act right pills and I think I'm doing better now (JUST KIDDING)I'VE TAKEN MY LUMPS CLEAN AND SOBER ALL MY LIFE.. WILLING TO BE THE TARP TO COVER THE MUD SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT... BUT ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION! ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ My life and funny side, intertwined: Raising my four children (my youngest is 20) if I told you how old my oldest was I'd have to kill you (LOL)or at least lock you in a closet and throw away the key (LOL) Raising my kids on my own has been my greatest accomplishment and the greatest joy of my life. They have been the anchors in my life and the Lord knows I needed at least four to keep me grounded... with them I have had many laughs, struggles, and triumphs and they've helped me be the woman I am today. My pictures are all recent and many folks have asked how the heck do I look so young, and have children that are so old. I tell them they keep me young coupled with the fact I've been running from the devil for many years now and he'll never catch up to me because God made my shoes (LOL) and when I was standing in the skin line in heaven, God told one of the angels: "you see that little girl over there"? "Put her in the Buffalo skin line because she's going to put herself through hell and she's going to need it"(smile) and boy was that the truth!...Thank you Lord (LOL) Now that my kids are grown, I travel and all I want to do is do what I've never had the time to do, and that's be ME.. let my hair down and let the sand run through my Tootsie's. I've screwed on my earthly wings and I'm ready to fly and just have fun, because I deserve it. Not many people are in the position I'm in... meaning having true happiness and joy in my heart.. The Lord has shown me favor and I wanted to use my BP page to express my gratitude to him for that. Financial profession by trade but I'm a writer in my heart. I 'm on here to network with Writers, Producers, Musicians (People in the Arts) and see where we can help and encourage one another. One of my biggest gestures of love is taking my mans shoes off when he is the most tired coming home from a long day, bathing him slowly and massaging him after and last but not least, never having to say no.. In my spare time, I try and promote my three daughters in their singing careers but it's moving a little slow now, waiting for a break. They are not signed to a label but would like to find a label that believes in them as single artists. My oldest daughter has some of her work on CD baby under the Artist;Chela; Album;Latin Queen; She writes all her lyrics. She won a National Writers Competition on her song;Latin Queen. She has other work that she's written and I would like to network with someone very talented in the production field to change the sound of some of her music to propel her career and make it happen... I have lots of talent right here in the confines of my home and they definitely get it from there Mama (Big smile)... My other two daughters also sing. My daughter Maureen's voice sounds like across between Alicia Key's and Phyllis Hyman, you can view Maureen's (Mo'mo's) and my Baby Krista (baby cakes) pic's on line. My little one Krista is 20 and she sounds like Monica. You can see all their pic's on my BP profile-line My life: When I was a young school girl, I use to call myself Mrs. Quincy Jones, not because I wanted to be Quincy Jones wife, although that wouldn't be a bad thing, but it was because I wanted to be known as a writer and a great one like him. Therefore, I write and I use to sing. I was blessed with three beautiful daughters that sing and write and a beautiful bouncing baby boy that is no longer a little boy but a grown and responsible man that I am proud of and he is the joy of my life. Last but not least the newest addition to my family, My grandson Julian, that will one day "God willing" be another music icon in the industry. He is my little Juju My writing side : ~Food for thought~ I've learned in life thing's can always get worse, put they definitely get better through hard work, perseverance, visualizing and having a healthy state of mind. For that reason am getting closer to my mark and I've met beautiful people along the way. If you can get into the same mind and accord, you will fly like a bird and sore like eagles. This is something I wrote from an experience I had a few year back and I call it: ~Not knowing how to die~ Sick with the loss of disaster, my life hung by a string, never being there, only having life experiences to sing.. I toss and I turn at night in despair ..wanting, waiting, hoping you would take my life, if you dare. While my misery is so great, not knowing who or how to hate; Waiting for a solution, soaking in my confusion... All of a sudden I felt like Job. All at once at the same time, I loose my grandpa, everything I've ever worked for, my business, my house my mom comes over to visit and has a stroke.. Asking...what is it I have to learn, while my heart burns? I wait for your answer in my moment of grief, lying alone in my room wanting one moment of relief.. I yell out to you for some kind of answer, a call, a note, a whisper in my heart.. Accepting a boat ride from a friend, he offered me a moment of solace.. At sunset he goes downstairs to watch T.V, I tell him I'll meet up with him later after my last swim for the day. I wanted to stay above to thank the lord for my friend and his peace, the grandness I see in the Sunset that reflects in the flowing water.. I take off my clothes in the beauty of what I see. Tears falls from my face in gratitude of his greatness. I said "Thank you Lord for my friend because in him I see your offering of a friend." You asking me to trust in your peace that I now can plainly see... I felt the need for some kind of cleansing, so I Jump out of the boat, asking the Lord to baptizes with his strength and the beauty I see in what he's created. Jumping in, I felt the dash of water touching every inch of my body, bubbles tickling me as I rise to the top. I feel a sense of cleansing and rejuvenation as I reach the top. I look over as always, for my point of reference but failing to see the boat anywhere insight. I don't panic being raised by the water. I then look over another direction, I see the boat was about 3 cars lengths way.. The current! Ok, it's got me, no problem I thought...I try to swim and swim, getting no-where fast.. My lung started burning after time and time, I try. Then I thought when all else fails float, right? Only, to no avail Fear floods in my veins, my life passes before me. This is a joke, right? Not being able to accept my life has come to an end... but I laugh a little in disbelief, understanding for one moment that the joke was on me. Lord what happened to my hopes, my dreams... the path I was destined to follow? You told me I was going to triumph, I was going to succeed, succeed in all my dreams and aspirations? What was that all about? You made me believe it all, even when I didn't believe, you finally made me not doubt, not even for one moment, so what's this? Everything you told me, was it all a lie? Treading water just enough to stay afloat, trying to understand and accept the bitter pill I'm being asked to swallow. Death has come at my door, an unexpected knock I must answer... as soon as I say, my last word of acceptance...the Lord floods me with a peace that was surreal... I felt this warmth all around me, as if coddled in his arms. All fear subsided as I ask for peace for my family and my kids I would leave behind. My last request; God don't let my mother have a heart attack, she's is old feeble and will not sustain... How will you let them know I wasn't scared? That you coddled me to the very end...By the way! do you think you can throw some clothes on me(LOL)I Laugh a little inside? My kids don't know that wild side in me... Just kidding, I just thought I'd get you back for you making me believe I was going to do all those things you told me I would. You know!... change the world one person at a time.. Ok, you got me ..and I know. Thank you because it kept me going all those years... and smiling too. Ok God, you got me and I was always happy in that thought, wasn't I ?...I get it..you knew what made me tick, but it's o.k. because you got me now, right in the palm of your hands and you're going to take me to the other-side and I know that, so.. were cool. I asked him; Remember... I almost drown as a child? Please don't let me experience the darkness, dingy cold black and green darkness I seen way back when, before the ocean decided to spit me back out? I don't want to see that... I want to go in peace, I want to pass out up here, at the top!(the sale woman in me trying to barter my way out till the bitter end)(No...really, it was me knowing that God was going to have my back till the bitter end, even though I didn't like the ending)... I told the Lord making a deal..."I'm going to take the water through my mouth up here". Two huge breaths of fresh air and one big gulp, horded through my mouth wide open, so I will pass out up here... I was in such peace, I felt it was Gods way of saying we had a deal As I took the first breath of fresh air.. staring straight at the water like a champ, feeling no fear accept the unexpected, as to what's going to happen next? I took my second breath, still staring down at the water, it seemed to be staring right back at me. I took my last deep breath of fresh air as I said TO MYSELF, ok God, you've got me, Right! The water got warmer all around me and I felt as if God him self was keeping me up as I somehow effortlessly stayed afloat. Valiantly still staring at the water, as I was at the tail end of my last breath, as I lowered my head down to hold water in my mouth, I heard my named called from far away... GRACE!!! I looked up and seen nothing but the bright blue sky, within seconds I thought I had died. It had past, just like that, I said to myself "was that it!!!"? Where are you Lord as I looked up to the blue sky? I was in a state of shock and confusion because I didn't feel a thing, no drowning, no fear, nothing... Just silence and stillness in the water, as I looked up to see who could be calling, who going to pick me up. Where are you God, Jesus, Gabriel, somebody!!! I thought. It was silent and I was looking for sort of a thick glass like appearance, like in the movies where you see a thick glass splitting the two sided apart, life and death, split in two...reality on one side and heaven on earth on the other....Where's that shield Lord!!! and where are you, your Angels, someone because I'm still in the water.. floating, treading water, where are you, can you see me!!! As I waited for someone to lift me up. Then I heard my name again, but this time because I was looking for the Lord or some GUARDIAN ANGEL OR SOMETHING, I looked toward the sound. I seen my friend on the boat and I though, what is HE doing here!!!? I looked at him in complete confusion, not saying a word... while trying to make sense of it all. He said "What are you doing over there!!!!" I suddenly realized I wasn't dead, I was still alive, very much alive on earth, and still in the same situation... I was still DROWNING !!! I looked at my friend and yelled out "I'm drowning"!!! He jumped up real high and started sort of running in circle, not really knowing what to do first. Start the boat, but the boat was tied at two different ends, it would take too long for him to untie it and save me. He then hung his body over the boat and stretched his arm out as far as he could and said "honey! swim to me!".. I said, "I can't make it to the boat, it's too far".. I could see the raw reality of my predicament written all over his face, and in the tone of his voice. It only made me realize more, the reality of my existence still on earth but only maybe for awhile longer. .. Above all... I was still.. to my surprise, hanging on some how, to my life, by some miracle with out fear until I realized, I was still drowning. The hope of my survival ones again was hanging by a thread. I all of a sudden felt as if I was pulled out of a death hole backwards, wet but still hanging on to life. Thinking to myself that I still could spare my family from the news of me drowning. My parents not having to feel the sparking pain of the news of my death. Although my lungs no-longer were burning because I had been resting for a while, while making peace with God (smoking the peace pipe as I would say) My friend yelled "swim to me"!!! and I gathered all the strength inside me and swam as hard as I could towards the boat. Once I got to him, I could see the fear in his eyes and it scared me more. He said come on baby swim!!! I yelled out, I can't, I'm tired, I'm tired I can't swim anymore get me honey don't let me drown, Please! don't let me drown my babies!! My voice echo distance, as if it was bouncing off an imaginary wall. My mouth being close to the water made my voice echo back to me and I hear every syllable of desperation in the quiver in my voice. As I swam to him, I felt as if someone was pulling at my feet.. I could see in his eyes, that my words were putting a more desperate look in his eyes making me more scared and looking at his face made the fear pierced right though me but the sign of hope made me swim harder and with all my might I barely made it to mid-way of the boat. He was hanging his body over, trying to reach out to me> I was concentrate looking at his hands not his face, because the fear in his eyes scared me and made me know my desperate state My lungs once again started burning. We kept missing each other at the desperation of trying to make that connection but the water and my desperation of trying to make contact didn't help. I couldn't believe I was so close to him, his hands, the boat and yet still not being able to save myself in anyway not matter how bad we both wanted it to happen and how close we were to touching one another. It took every pit of my strength to get to him and I said please grab me honey or I'm gone, I can't keep this up anymore. He looked like he was going to jump in, by putting one of his legs over the boat...I said with desperation and almost my last breath. knowing if he jumped in we would both drown. I knew if he did.. within a few moments we would both die...Don't jump in honey or we'll both drown! He repositioned himself on the boat and I said "please honey my babies, please save me"... I can't do this anymore, I just can't, and as soon as I said that our hands finally met. It wasn't a good grip but to let go and take the chances of us connecting again was slim to none and some how we both knew it with out mentioning a word.. But just in case he thought different, I said "honey, if you let me go, I'm gone.. I can't do this anymore". He said stop moving babe, I got you" Our hands felt like they were slipping every second that went by, but that's all we had... I looked at him pleading again not to let me go because I wouldn't be able to swim back to the boat and my babies, my babies, I kept saying... don't let me drown. He didn't say a word but kept moving toward the stairs in the back of the boat. Once I was there, it seemed as if he just plucked me right out of the water. He plucked me out and we both grabbed each other and didn't want to let each other go. We were both laughing and crying at the same time. We held on to each other in disbelief that we accomplish the unimaginable. It seemed like and act of God. How was he able to scale the back seat and not let me go with the hold he had on me, I ask myself and quickly thought forget it.. I'm here, who cares and again I thought. how did he scale over the engine department and not let go, I again thought, I'm here.. who cares. He drove the boat in compete darkness with exception of the full moon. While he was driving fast to get back as if he could see everything as a night owl. I was little scared for one second but I thought there is no way, we went through all that to both end up in the water and not make it home. Am I really on the boat, I ask myself? Yes I really am here how? yes I was alive and well. I can't believe it, I'm going home. I can't believe I'm going home, I kept repeating to myself? The cold wind was on the top of my wet head, to the tip of my toes but I was actually embracing the chill running through my body, and prior to this experience I hated to be cold and be shivering but with that same thought it felt good being alive, I actually felt some warmth running through my body at the same time, it was probably all the adrenalin still running through my veins....I was so happy to feel anything and everything I was feeling, I still couldn't believe I was actually still alive. We finally made it the car, we were both silent. I was in straight disbelief as to everything that had just happened. I didn't know what he was thinking but he was probably wondering why I was naked when he took me out of the water. Then again, he was still probably in shock and still overwhelmed about what had just happened as I was. We were both silent as we drove home and when we were a couple of blocks away I told him I never thought I would owe someone my life. He said "you don't owe me that, anyone would have saved you Grace". I said "maybe, but in this case it was you...you did it and both you and I know it wasn't that easy. I seen you were going to try and jump in. He said No I wasn't, I said "yes you were and what you didn't know is that the water was sucking me in and if you would have jumped in we both would have drowned. I told you to not jump in or we'll both die and you put your foot back in. But anyways, I thank you, your my buddy for life. I love you. He dropped me off and drove off. I stood on the assault for a minute and looked at my home from the street. I couldn't believe I was there. I felt ever grain under my foot as if my foot was hugging every rock, as I walked slowly feeling every rock. As I got to the side walk I felt the softness of the pavement unlike ever before. I looked at the grass wanting to roll in it like a little girl but my neighbors would have thought, the girls gone mad. So I kept walking embellished with the thought and a big smile, thinking "I'm home some how, I'm home. How did I get here...How! when I was so close , I felt death at my door. Death begging me to come right in and the again taking me with out asking. I took my key out and looked at my key hole and it looked different, I could almost see inside the crevasses, I smiled in wonder as I but the key in. The door to my house is about 9 feet high but when I was pushing it open it seemed like I had popped into an Alice and wonderland movie because the door seem bigger then it actually was as I pride my door open slowly. As if I had never done it before as if I didn't know what was in there. I peeking slowly in my house and thought if my daughter Maureen's sees my just by the look in my eyes she would have thought I had gone crazy peeking in the house like that but no one seemed to be home. I walked in and looked at my long stairway and walked up slowly feeling every fiber of carpet slipping through my toes. It seemed for ever to get up there as if there were extra steps, I glanced everywhere looking at everything twice and three time in shock of being hoe. that led up to the rooms up stairs as I approach the stairs I . to be continued