Ja0316 |
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In life many people have thier own boundaries, limitations, fears etc. that they have set for ones self. Some dont know them until the day they have to make that choice, or have the contact with that obsticle/option. Many people have boundaries of how far they will take things, what limits they will stop at, whether they will do something or not. Let the choice be taking a jump, drinking a certain beverage, trying a new food, maybe sexual whatever it might be. Well me i have a fear, and let this fear be my weakness but i couldnt really put my finger on it. All these years i have been trying to understand all the mistakes and paths i choose to take and why i take them, why i continually run back to a love that was my first, why i try and make every realtionship that i have work with every ounce of me when i see its almost over or ready to call the quits, why i allow pain and emotional turmoil to myself. Well i discovered my fear is to be Lost without love. Question of appreciation. Making a difference. When i say lost with out love its not in the sense i constantly need to be in love, because that is NOT my fear,nor what i want to be but instead to be alone by myself, more without a companion. Now as an addition to being alone, i fear not being loved for the amazing person i am, and the unconditioal satisfaction ill have with knowing i am TRUELY appreciated for all that i do. I dont quite understand this fear but yet i havent fully faced it either so i cant say i can over come it. I cant say i dont know how, because i do, its just a choice, an option, a limit to how far im going to let myself wallow in this fear. How long i ask myself will i allow this to keep reacurring before i set a boundry to myself to know when to stop? This is what i need to face some day or another, maybe not today and probably not tomorrow but now knowing my fear.... well ill only know where to go from here. (to be continued) --Jhene Aiko Okay before i say any thing I wanted to let everyone knw this is my one only Blackp. page so if you see another me...call em out i also have Myspace if you can find me add me...i'm just now deciding to get one of these things becus a friend of mine said it was intresting and becus i saw a commerical on TvOne..so it must be something big,,,but i'm not about to put my life story up on here..if you wanna know something about write me i don't discrimnate... Okay i just feel like i should say a little more..than what i have up here about myself because its not fair to everyone..i'm sorry if i have put your message off..i'm not CONCEITED!!! or STUCK UP!! I promise you i'm the most down to earth person you may ever lay eyes on..its just that when i get on at night i don't be in the mood to read and open so many messages...but if i feel like you should be acknowledge i will acknowledge no doubt..and i don't really answer IMs becuz they slow down my computer i need to upgrade on a serious note.. Another subject i would love to cover..i was once going through this phase where i would deal with females or Male..although i have never been in a serious relationship with a girl..i just feel i have matured and began to understand myself..and thats not the image i want to younger siblings, friends, and family to see..so i'm putting an end to all that..[[please don't take offense =/]] cuz i respect every one no matter what color or race..or discription..i just..never mind..but i'm Jhene i'm a Music lover like any other typical human..LOL i'm an assistant manager at Wal-mart..and a part-time shift leader at Walgreens pharmacy in Memorial Hospital..which i enjoy more than anything i have ever done..I'm originally from LA. I moved down here two years ago to go to school at the best school in the universe..THe Arts institute of Houston majoring in Digital Film Making And Video Production..Minoring In Fashion...I want my own Production company by the age of thirty, producing movies and television show of all kinds..working my way up to producing music of types.. i graduate in the spring and than its back home for a for the summer and than moving to New York Citaaa.!!! Yay Babe!!! LOL i have so many plans its intresting to me trust me...I am a mixture of Black, Asian, And Native American and some more..but who cares?? right?? oh I really Love Different world..I really Admire Freddy..and Whitley ife it was no them it would be no show...LOL Music Ask me about everything i Listen to it all..and if you Rock Lauryn Hill or Chrisette Michele YOU ARE OFFICALLY MY SOULMATE!!i love talking to every one and answereing all kinda of questions..but plz don't ask me if i know lil fizz or if i'm really Jhene aiko..believe what you wanna..if you don't believe than don't waste your time..=/ but what kinda GUY am I searching for?? HMMMM..well i just really wanna guy on the same level that i am mind and every thing..not afraid to express hisself just becuz he think it doesn't sound right..I need you to be into religous [[Christian]] i'm letting go Buddism..i know thats crazy and it took me since child hood to learn and understand all about it..but like i said i'm maturing for the better...i can't really say what my type is becus i like different things in different people but someone who understands love is stronger than pride, witha sensitive mind..one of kind nothing that when we walk down the street that girl has the same i want new and not wore out...something sooo special and unique because thats what i deserve nuthing less..maybe more..thats all i will settle for...Looks is nothing but something the world will only have to see...i want the inside tha part noone has touched..&& if so i want to be last..LOL i hope that make sense i just made it up from the top of my headLOL Peace.Love.Chicken Grease. --Jhene Aiko Oh yea check out my music page WWW.Blackplanet.com/Jheneaiko/ ///myspace.com/jasylndoemdirty man |
