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THE RUNDOWN:
Jay_Cop is 27 with (*gasp*) no kids. How has that happened?
Does Jay_Cop shoot blanks?
NO!
Does Jay_Cop dip his dipstick into anything that wears lipstick? NO!
I`m a young black man trying to make it in this crazy world, like JJ from Good Times, or Pookie from New Jack City (only without the love of crack. I`m someone who knows how to have a good time, regardless of how much money I may or may not have at the time. Clubs, movies, bowling, museums, sporting events...I do it all, baby. I even attend bar mitzvahs for a nominal fee.
And if, on the off chance that you and I hang out one day, and you don`t have a ride home...Don`t worry! I`ll take care of you. I`ve got the Yellow Cab Service on my cell phone speed dial.
Jay_Cop has a job.
I`m a mammogram technician. I`m the guy who gets to look at you naked when you get your boobies inspected.
I enjoy it,because it allows me the opportunity to look at tit-tays all day.
Plus, it helps prepare me for the inevitability of marriage. I mean, breasts aint gonna be bouncy and succulent forever.
So in a way, my job helps me to love my future wife more, and accept her for the massive eyesore she will surely become.
(kidding, kidding)
Defining Women Using a Geographical Analogy
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair).
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of aMan
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a d*ck.
And last but not least, I leave you with a quote from one of the best Black movies ever:
"YOU BLACK, YOU POOR, YOU UGLY, YOU A WOMAN. GODDAMN, YOU NOTHIN AT ALL!"
....I mean if that aint some ignorant shyt, I don`t know what is.
Poor Ms Celie! You sho` is ugly!
"And that, children, was the first time I sucked d*ck for crack, and not the last."
