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Well now in in the lou doing may thing IM SINGLE and NO KIDS
YAHOO- REDBIGBEAR314
MSN - LAWRENCECLOSSUM314@MSN.COM
AOL - walskez
WWW.myspace.com/walskez
SO U CAN HOLLA AT ME ANYTIME
Just drop a line on me
Ghetto Quiz!
Let`s add up how totally ghetto fab you are:
1. You`ve ever used an album cover for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. If you`ve ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street. (10
points)
3. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5+5 extra points if your
house was the candy lady)
4. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
5. If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school. (2 points)
6. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath. (5 points)
7. If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time becauseyou got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made. (5 points)
8. If you have ever played any of the following games: hide and go seek,
freeze tag, momma may I?, or red light/green light (2 points each)
9. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a
bell)
10. The candy "Now and Later" you refer to as "Nighladers". (5 points)
11. If you`ve ever run from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got
away)
12. If you`ve ever had reusable bacon grease in a containeron your stove.
(5 points+15 if you still do it)
13. Thebatteries in you remote control ever been held in by a piece of
tape. (5 points)
14. If youhave ever worn any of the following fragrances (1 point each):
Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate,Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge.
15. You`ve ever used tussy. (5 points)
16. You`ve neverbeen to the dentist. (15 points)
17. If you have afriend or familymember whose nickname is one word said
twice: Dee-Dee, fee-fee, man-man,Kay-Kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay, junebug etc. (10 points)
18. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
19. You`ve ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
20. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for
example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.) (5 points)
21. You use nem` to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig nem` or momma nem`)(5 points)
22. You`ve ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (5
points)
23. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by *bleep*ing it. (10
points)
24. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (10
points)
25. You`ve ever left a social gathering with a plate. (2 points)
26. You can`t hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (5 points)
27. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (10 points)
28. You don`t have your own place but your child had a leather coat and a
pair of Jordan`s. (15 points)
29. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
30. You think Tupac is still alive. (10 points)
31. If when you run out of toilet paper you use paper towels instead. (10 points)
32. If you have family on the same block or around the corner from you. (2 points)
33.If when your blow dryer brakes and you use an iron instead. (10 points)
34. If your the paint from your wall was peeling and you used white out to cover it up. (4points)
0 - 50 points - I guess you were raised in the suburbs
51 - 75 points - A bonafide ex- hoodrat
76 - 150 points - Spent a little timeinthe projects, huh?
150- points or more - Stillthere, huh?
HOOCHIE CHECKLIST
You know you`re a HOOCHIE if...
1. Your idea of high fashion is spandex and faux leopard.
2. Your nails are more than an inch long.
3. You`ve got a ring for every finger and you wear them all at once.
4. Your jam is Missy`s "Sock It to Me."
5. You take your toddlers to "R"-rated movies.
6. You`ve been on welfare more than three years.
7. You ever got your hair "did."
8. You think you`re high class cause you`ve had Cristal.
9. You named your kids anything ending in "sha," as in Aiesha, Laquesha,
Moesha.
10. Your name ends in "sha."
11. Your man is in jail.
12. Your man just got out of jail.
13. You ever threw a tv (or any other appliance) at a man.
14. You ever crawled out of a club because a fight broke out.
15. You ever started a fight in a club cause someone looked at your man.
16. You ever started a fight cause you didn`t like the way someone looked
at you.
17. You`d rather have a big screen tv than a computer.
18. You think blue contacts look good on you.
19. You ever said, "I love-ded-ded my man."
20. You ever said, "I love me some him."
21. You like a man with a gold tooth.
22. You`ve got a gold tooth.
23. You`ve worn more than one hairstyle at a time... (you know, finger
waves on the left, crimps on the right, braids in the back).
24. You`ve purchased buy 1, get 1 free shoes.
25. You carry your baby on your hip.
26. You`ve got a baby on each hip.
27. You`ve ever traded food stamps for anything.
28. You`ve got a boyfriend and a man on the side.
29. You like to brag, "Ain`t no shame in my game."
30. You gotta go down the street to use the phone.
31. You`ve ever gone down to your baby daddy`s job to get money for
pampers, milk, groceries, etc.
Here are a few that weren`t on the list:
32. You only go to church to hear the upbeat music.
33. You go to church to see who you "outdressed", undressed or dress is
shorter than yours.
34. You go to church to "catch". (These 3 give you the distinction of
being a "CHOOCHIE")
35. You shacking with yo baby daddy brother while yo baby daddy in jail.
36. You stripping at the same club that your mama dance at.
37. You got her the job.
38. You spent your rent money to get your hair and nails "did", "cause
you
was going out".
39. Your sons are named Ondray, Anfernee and Antwon because you spell it
like you say it.
40. Your sons are all Jr.`s.
41. You call them Li`l Dray, Li`l Penny and Li`l Twon.
42. You dress them like triplets even though each looks
just like his daddy.
43. Your response to any of the above was "So. . .".
FREAK TEST
Do not be alarmed if you find out that you are a freak!!!!
Have You Ever:
1. Had sex? (5pts.)
2. Oral sex? (5 pts.)
3. Swallowed %#&@$!? (5pts.)
4. Practice bondage, or Sadomasochistic behavior? (5pts.)
5. Had anal sex? (5pts.) To orgasm? (5pts.)
6. Had sex with someone of the same sex? (10pts.)
7. Had sex with more than one person at a time? (10pts.)
8. Had sex with more than one person in a week? (7pts.)
9. Used sex toys? (7pts.)
10. Bought a dirty magazine? (3pts.)
11. Watched a porno? (3pts.)
12. Been in a 69 position? (3pts.)
13. Had phone sex? (5pts.)
14. Masturbated? (5pts.) In a public place? (5pts.)
15. Had sex in a public place? (5pts.) Park? (1pt.) Subway?(3pts.) Alleyway? (2pts.) Train or bus station? (3pts.)
16. Gotten carpet burns? (3pts.)
17. Participated in an orgy? (10pts.)
18. Watched someone having sex? (7pts.)
19. Had sex with others watching you? (7pts.)
20. Sucked or licked your own: Females:Breast or %#&@$!?(12pts.)
Males: Dick? (12pts.)
21. Paid for sex? (8pts.)
22. Been paid for sex? (8pts.)
23. Had a one night stand? (8pts.)
24. Passed out during sex? (5pts.)
25. Had an STD? (8pts.)
26. Had sex without contraceptives? (6pts.)
27. Had sex anyplace other than the bedroom? (3pts. for each place)
Scoring:
1-25: How does it look up there with the angels?
26-55: Ok, you know the bare minimum. Go join a sex-ed class.
56-85: Ok, you`re just on the outskirts of being a freak.
86-125: Welcome to the land of the FREAKS!!! Here`s your certificate that you completed the freak correspondence course.
126-170: You are a BONAFIDE FREAK!!! You could teach a freak class.
171 +: You are the Dean of Freak College. You`re not only a client,your Da Freaky President!
BOOTY CALL APPLICATION
THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT This pre-booty call agreement
(hereinafter referred to herein as the "Agreement") is entered into as of the _____
day of __________,200_, by and between ____________ and ____________.
1. No sleeping over
2. No meeting in public
3. No calls before 2 am
4. None of that "lovemaking" %#&@$!
5. No emotional discussions..(ex. Where are we heading with this? You
know where it`s heading!!)
6. No plans made in advance.. that`s why you`re called the "backup"
7. No non-sexual gifts (altoids not included)
8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (in fact, no
conversations are a plus)
10. No kissing (too intimate)
11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends
and we never will be)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK (Phrases such as,
"HONESTLY I WAS THINKING ABOUT "Halle Berry/Tyson Beckford", are
completely acceptable)
13. No extra clothing (I don`t want your %#&@$! leaving anything behind
that my real man/woman might find!)
14. No guilt about falling asleep right after sex
15. Don`t be offended if I don`t ask if you enjoyed it (I don`t
care)..and don`t ask me!! I`ll get mine you worry about yours.
16. I will not walk you to the door/car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My
roommate`s girlfriend/boyfriend"
18. Doggie style preferred (rare exceptions when I am tired and let
you ride)
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes
** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The before mentioned rules
may not be altered or amended for any reason whatsoever. If any party attempts any of this it just for fun
Just had to put something up for u 2 read but get at me
