LightAndShadow

I've got a soft spot for children's literature. My all time favorite is The Old Turtle! It's truly beautiful- filled with lovely paintings and a timeless message. As a three year old, I learned to read with Dr. Seuss and I'm still a big fan. Nope, I'm not ashamed to admit I can recite Green Eggs and Ham and In a People's House - Come inside Mr. Bird said the Mouse

My taste, I'm sure you'll be relieved to know, expands beyond children's literature. I can read and re-read Stephen King's, The Stand. The end of the world struggle between good and evil is a theme that just doesn't get old. If you've never read it, hit that Favorites button and take yourself to Amazon.com.

As far as black writer's go, I can do without the current slew of quick reads. You know the one's I'm referring to - they are on the top of the list at blackexpressions.com and written at a 6th grade reading level. I don't mean to be cruel, but everywhere I look I see things dumbing down. It's a shame. Fortunately, all's not lost. There are still good things to read. I love Zora, Anne Petry, and the more contemporary Pearl Cleage.

I'm not a complete bookworm I love music, too. Look, I gotta tell ya now... I don't wanna hear no Michael Jackson is a pedophile jokes. I still proudly listen to my Thriller CD and I'll be a grey haired old lady in the retirement center talkin' bout - Honey, put on that Motown 25 Billie Jean DVD! And sugah, hand me my teeth so I can sing along! Yes, Lord, that boy sho' danced that night!

It's funny how important music is to most of us. Sadly, I can't say I'm particularly impressed by the direction things have taken. I all but stopped listening to commercial radio when I became a mother. I just couldn't in good conscience expose my innocent little girl to well, I don't have to tell you what's out there.

You know, I don't care if it is the radio version I preferred not to hear my daughter, strapped in the back seat of the car, lispin' about what she gon' do to her man! Please! What's Chris Rock say his whole purpose is? To keep his baby off the pole, right?! Well, mine too, and it's got to start with the music comin' outta Mommy's speakers.

Without radio the CD collection keeps getting bigger and bigger and as Internet downloads become more and more prevalent I continue to explore a wide variety of music. It's nice to be able to grab that one song that's got my name on it and not have to buy an entire album. I can't point to a single genre that doesn't have some exceptional offerings and with services like Napster I can get just what I like without runnin' to the bootleg man.

I'll listen to just about anything. My only real criterion is that it is rhythmic, melodious, and if there are words, they touch my heart. I've got a few favorites that live in my car, on my computers, and on my mp3 player. Things like:

• Yolanda Adams - Sight Beyond What I See
• Brian McNight - Shall We Begin
• Boney James - Ain't No Sunshine
• Michael Franks - Nightmoves
• Teena Marie - D j Vu
• Luther, Luther, Luther - need I say more
• Mahalia Jackson - Search Me Lord

If you've never heard Mahalia sing this song, you should. The tune is simple; it's the lyrics that draw me:

While I'm singing I'm holy,
Lord search my heart
You know, Lord, whether I'm right,
You know, Lord, whether I'm wrong,
You know, Lord, whether I'm right or wrong

That'll straighten you out! Puts your Christian walk in perspective. There's not a lot of room for hubris when you're asking God to take a good long look at how you're livin'.

I started maturing as a Christian when suffering took up residence in my life. Pretty typical, huh? I've got a brother who almost gave his life to crack and a husband that's been recovering from the same thing.

Some years ago, my almost perfect little suburban life came crashing down around me. I found the bank accounts ravaged and my emaciated husband's eyes popping out of his head. I get chills when I remember the day I finally put all the pieces together. Having nowhere else to turn, I eventually turned to the only one I knew who could bring the dead back to life - Jesus.

My husband has been drug free for many years, but the whole experience changed our relationship. Significantly, completely, and I'm afraid most likely, permanently. We work well together raising our daughter, but the genuine husband/wife love we had has been replaced with friendly tolerance. The house is peaceful, my daughter is well cared for, he's sober (at least crack free), and I'm stronger than I'd ever thought possible. We're together, but apart. I have no doubt that when my girl leaves home, I'll find the last tie that binds breaks.

I use to be a real homebody. I still am in many respects, but circumstances forced me to put the expensive education my parents gave me into more than keeping house and cooking.

Imagine filling in a survey and being asked to select from a dropdown with three choices, 'Cook', 'Can't Cook', and 'Can, but Don't'. Gotta tellya, I'd have to click on that `Can, but Don't`. No, I've had to engage in more lucrative pursuits.

Face it, with a mortgage to pay, a child to raise, a 401k to fund, and a getaway to look forward to who's got time to stir around in pots. Nope, not this girl! As long as the Whole Foods Deli stays in business, and both sides of my town's version of Main Street remain lined with restaurants I see no real need to prove I'm a woman in the kitchen. There's another room in the house that holds much more appeal - don't you agree?

I adore my kid, but I'm lovin' being able to focus on the non-mother part of me. Three long years battling someone else's addiction taught me that I have to take care of myself. So, I assure you, when my baby's gone, I won't end up wandering around a big house trying to find something to do. I will be sufficiently prepared.

The first thing on my agenda is some non-business related travel. In the past, urban destinations were at the top of my dream trip list, but nature spots have recently supplanted cities. A friend of mine took me out on his boat a while back. We spent the day sailing, and the experience really opened my eyes to the fact that I'd been out of touch with creation. Too busy maneuvering plastic environments, too busy breathing canned air, too little sun and wind and earth to properly minister to my spirit. Well, once I saw, once I felt what I was missing I started purposely seeking out opportunities to remedy the situation. With my Canon in tow, I sought out scenic locations and really enjoyed the varied natural settings I discovered.

Yep, when I get a chance to do some vacation traveling I want to take pictures from a mountaintop, I want to see gigantic icebergs floating in the sea, I want to capture the wind sweeping across the dessert - oh yeah, and stay in nice hotels and eat at great restaurants. I love nature, but we mustn't carry a joke too far.

If you've read this far, than you're likely my kinda person. A lesser one would still be questioning the whole Dr. Seuss thing!