MRreal2 BACK HOME! - October 15, 2010 add/view comments (0) |
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AS of July 2005 I HAVE BECOME A RESIDENT OF LEXINGTON, KY...... A LIL BIT ABOUT ME!!!
Height: 6`1 Weight: 211 lbs I am from Twinsburg Hts, OH 
I prefer to look good and win (and I usually do), than to look bad and lose!
The World is a Stage and all of the people are Merely actors. And I am the Director. Listen at this $#!+: For us in the High Tax Bracket! "A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well." "War doesn`t determine who`s right. War determines who`s left." "Man with one chopstick go hungry." "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement." "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!" "Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion" "Crowded elevator smells different to midget." "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money." "Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!" "Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok" If At First You Don`t Succeed, Skydiving isn`t For You. "It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it." Why do people say "no offense" when they`re about to offend someone? Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? When your pet bird sees you reading thenewspaper, does hewonder Why you`re just sitting there, staringat carpeting? If you try to fail and suceed, what did you just do? If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? If you decide that you`re indecisive, which one are you? If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? How do you handcuff a one-armed man? Behind Every good man is a good woman, and behind every good woman, is prolly a man checking out her @SS. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it. If you`re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why does Shaggy eat dog biscuits(Scooby snacks)? If you can`t drink and drive, why do you need a driver`s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other? If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? If you`re caught"between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? Why do they call it your "bottom", when it`s really in the middle of your body? If someone can`t see, they`re blind and if someone cant hear, they`re deaf, so whatdo you call people who can`t smell? Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly? If it`s zero degrees outside today and it`s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on christmas lights?.....Hmmmm, whats my 3rd option? If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages? Why can`t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I`ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? Or If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldnt you see through everything and actually see nothing? How fast do hotcakes sell? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get the ships into those Bottles? How do you throw away a garbage can? What came first the chicken or the Egg? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone willclean them? (this thought is only for the deep thinking, Intelligent Black Folk) Did Adam and Eve have navels? You dont need EVERYTHING, You`d Have nowhere to keep it all. One nice thing about egotists: they don`t talk about other people. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won`t miss a call from someone we didn`t want to talk to in the first place. Only in America do we pull over in respect for a Funeral Procession (With a dead Corpse), yet Speed up to beat and get in fron of a Ambulance or Emergency Vehicle (going to save a life.) My page is for humor and leisure NOT to hook-up and cut!!!
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