Melvin_Jones |
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How`s it going Black Planet! I have been off the planet for a while and decided to make a come back. Life has been life and the struggles make me stronger. Each event molds me to the man that I am meant to be. Before I get started, I want to tell my mom that I love her and that she did a great job in raising a man. I am so proud of her and I appreciate all the sacrifices that she made for her family. There is no woman like you, you are truly one of God`s angels. May God keep you as you kept me. I love you mama, always and forever! A Son's Turning Point...................... Man, I can't believe that you are gone. I hold on to each day hoping that I will wake up just to see your face as you shake me to open my eyes. I tell my heart lies everyday just to ease the pain. I can t believe that my last moments with you were in complete silence. I know you felt me stay beside you for two weeks, telling you to follow my voice as I kissed you on your forehead and held your hand, followed by a passionate I LOVE YOU! I knew that my love was strong for you, I knew that my love would pull you through. I prayed and begged for you to open your eyes, I just needed to hear your voice. I just needed to see your eyes fix on mine as I told you that I loved you. I almost felt like I had failed. There was nothing I could do for you, after all the things that you have done for me. I wished that I could have given my life for yours. The earth will never be the same without one of its angels. Momma, the hardest thing was seeing you in that state. At night when I close my eyes I see your face. I see your eyes closed, fighting a battle that no one can see or feel but you. I hear you fighting for air as you breathe, while I tell you to fight momma, fight. I brag to the nurses how strong you are. Then I hear your last breaths, the sound of struggle that scars my heart and soul forever. I know you were fighting as hard as you could to stay here for your mother and children. I can not get the sound out of my head. You gasping for air as I stand there helpless. The hardest thing was making that decision to take you off of life support. Did we give up on you or did we do what you wanted us to do, by following our faith that you installed in us? I wait every night for you to visit me. Just a glimpse is all I need. I feel so alone. I am at the point now that I need you the most. I have been wanting to share with you my goal and my plans but I squandered my time and now it is too late. I have always been the man of the house, taking care of things that others have ran from. I always handled business and I regret that I let my business get in the way of our time. I talk to you in prayers but I am still selfish wanting a verbal reply. Things inside of me are changing, your boy is becoming a man just like you expected. All I ever wanted to do in life is make you proud. Momma, I never question God about anything that he does, we have been rolling with the punches all of my life. You taught me how to love and believe in faith every since the age of 5 when I was ran over by that van. I have seen death several times and fought through surgeries and wrecks. But the pain of not having you is hurting more than anything I have ever experienced. They say that time heals all wounds but there is no way that I can live forever. I am glad that you are happy now, resting with your father in heaven. I know God is so proud of you. As you have always done, you have completed your work in record time. You always knew how to take care of business. I wish I could tell you that I love you. I wish that I could hug you one more time. I wish that I could kiss you one more time. I wish that we had more time. Life is funny sometimes. I feel like that I must have done some bad things in my past life because I can t seem to catch a break. You always told me that the devil was after me so bad because he knows that I am destined to do great things in the Lords name. But he can t kill me because the Lord decided to hold me in his bosom. But I am going to fight momma, just like you taught me. I will hold this family together, I will do want you wanted me to do, I will be successful. I will make it. I LOVE YOU! They call me China-Man aka China! Momma named me!
I will tell you a little about myself. As of now, I stay in Garland Texas, so you might as well say Dallas. I am a single 24 year old man that enjoys life, no matter what it deals me. I am straight forward and light hearted. I consider myself a friend to everyone because the truth is all that you will get from me. If you have any questions or if you just want to talk or need company, send me a note. I will respond if the notes aren`t too ignorant. As you see, I am a man of many faces!
Here are some poems I wrote. I have more of my poems in my blog! Tell me what you think about it! --------PURPOSE------------- "I live life in different venues, sometimes I feel trapped and freed in the same sense. My life runs like a maze with infinite exits. I have no bounds. I remain lost in decisions. Lost in mind and in spirit. Just be quiet for a second and maybe you can hear it. The sound of the world passing you by. You live love and die is what I was told. But to love to live before you die is what I was taught. My words may seem intangible and may cause slight irregular thoughts as you believe theses words to be random miscues. Look a little closer. Follow the clues. Things happen for a reason, people you meet come and go, places you go are seen and enjoyed. Yet people that leave impressions and places that proceed memories causes heart fluctuations that shape your spirit forever......................" --------------LINKED BY SOULS------------ WOW, I can t believe that it is you. My life has been so mundane without you. You have escaped my arms so many times. Your have torn my heart into pieces as I tried to replace you with generic versions. None are like you. You awaken my soul and deliver my spirit. You give me the sensation of living with the feeling of peace. How can something that strengthens me and excites me and makes me so alive, calm my soul. Many moons pass as I think of you. Wondering how you were. Wondering how good you could be. All my life I have dreamed that you were with me. Every night I have felt your touch, I have felt your love comfort me as I sleep to awaken another day to search for you. You keep me alive, you push me and set the pace in my life and you act like you don t even know me. Your mind may say "Calm down, how can I have such an effect on you." My reply is "I have searched for you my whole life, I have known you since I have known about love. I knew you before I knew myself." We have grown up together but you have never changed. Don t you know me? As I thought about you I could always envision your smile. Illuminating the darkest corners of my heart. Allowing new life to live where life was non-existent. I knew your smile would bring me joy, how I live to make you smile. My heart burst as yours with every expression as the pleasantries of your face warms my soul. How long I have waited to have a conversation with you. Even before I could hear your voice, your words had already molded me. I always knew to believe in you. I always knew your touch would protect my soul. I have felt your hands before. I have seen them once. And I have held them once. Did you remember how it felt? I always thought that you would come and go. I thought we would never find each other. But I found out that you stay around forever. Even though you are out of sight, you are never out of mind. Even when I am not thinking about you I see your presence around me. I thank God for introducing us and allowing me to connect with your soul. I feel the power in you. I see it in your walk,I feel it in your voice, I sense it in your soul. Look into your heart, Can you agree? |
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