Colleges and Universities

+++++WHO IS A SUZY? LOL WELL BASICALLY I GO TO CHURCH 3 DAYS A WEEK. WHAT IS NOT LOGICAL IS I HAVE BEEN MESSING WITH FOOLS WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY WALK WITH GOD!!! MAKES NO SENSE. GOD TOLD ME THIS. I HEARD THE WORDS "MAKE BELIEVE" I BELIEVE THIS MEANT I HAVE BEEN PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE "LOVE" TOO LONG. JUS BLOCKING THE CHANCE FOR REAL LOVE AND WASTING GOD'S AND MY TIME. SAD. I THINK I NEED A BREAK. NOT SURE IF THERE ARE ANY REAL BELIEVERS AND CHURCH GOERS ON THIS SITE/BP???? I CANT KEEP DOING THIS BULLSHYT...................... .............................. ............................. SO, IV BEEN A BELIEVER NOW 2 AND HALF YEARS. FOUND GOD AT THE LOWEST POINT IN MY LIFE. TOTAL FAMILY BETRAYAL. MY SON GOT PUT IN A GROUP HOME BY A FABRICATED POLICE REPORT. NO IT DONT ONLY HAPPEN TO DRUG DEALERS AND RAPPERS N BLACK FOLK! LOL. MAN. SOME BULLSHYT RITE THER! I DO THIS CHURCH STUFF BY CHOICE. NOT CUZ NO ONE MAKE ME. THE BEST WAY. I HAVE A HEART OF GOLD. A GENIUS, TESTED, BRAIN! I DONT LIE, IM ONE THAT REALLY DO KEEP IT REAL AND KEEP IT 100. THE REST THAT SAY THAT JUS LIE IN UR FACE. THATS KEEPIN IT REAL! AND I SING IN THE ALL BLACK CHURCH GOSPEL CHOIR! SINGIN IS MY MAIN JOY. IMA WHITE GURL DAT CAN SANG! IS CRAZY. NEVER KNEW I COULD SING BEFORE GOD! THA HOLY SPIRIT BE UP IN ME I GUESS. TRUTH. AND TOP IT ALL OFF IMA SUPA FREAK. NOTICE IM UPGRADED FROM FREAK. LOL. GOT DA SUPA ON IT............................ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................* ************A SUZY IS TIRED OF THIS $MONEY$ 1ST MENTALITY. HUSTLE MODE SHIT. CALL ME RACIST BUT MOST WHITE FOLK NOT RAISED THIS WAY. CULTURALLY ITS RUDE TO ASK BOT MONEY. IF ONE MORE MUTHA FUKKA ASK ME HOW MUCH MONEY I GOT, WHERE I GET MY MONEY IMA SMACK SOMEONE. IT NONE UR BUS-IN-ESS BIOTCH. GET DAT? DONT CALL ME BROKE IF YOUR CAR "NEED A PART" CUZ MINE IS PAID OFF AND WORKS. AND I LIVE ALONE...WHILE MOS DUDES I MEET LIVIN WIT SOMEONE OR LIVE FROM SOFA2SOFA! SHYT. TALK SOME MO' SHYT. IM DONE. JUDGE ON, YOU AINT GOD. THE BIBLE SAY THE WORSHIP OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. A SUZY HERE PUTS GOD 1ST AND HONESTY 2ND. MONEY IS DEAD LAST. IF I END UP BROKE GOD WILL SEE A WAY. I FUKK FO' FREE. NEVA WILL SELL MY BODY. YA'LL BEEN BAMBOOZLED HOODWINKED AND BRAINWASHED...FOLLOWING THE PROPAGANDA OF MEDIA...RAP N SUCH...JUS SHEEP FOLLOWING THE SHEEP HERD!!! ALL THINK ALIKE. HAVE A BRAIN OF UR OWN. YOU HEAR STUFF IN RAP SONGS BOT WANTING A STRIPPER AS THEIR WOMAN! OH REALLY? A WOMAN WHO MEN TOUCH ON ALL NIGHT? A WOMAN WHO GO IN V.I.P TO SUCK A D? THAT IS TOP NOTCH BIOTCH. GO FOR IT. GET YOU A COLD HEARTED SAD WOMAN. BEING A STRIPPER AINT NO ENTREPRENEURSHIP. ITS A WOMAN SELLING HER SOUL. I AINT GONNA RESPECT NO ONES "HUSTLE" THAT WORD JUS A SELF SERVING WAY TO USE ABUSE AND STEAL TO GET AHEAD AT EXPENSE OF OTHERS. THE WOMEN WHO SELL THEMSELVES JUS THE TOP OF THE HEAP OF THOSE BEEN BAMBOOZELED N BRAINWASHED BY THE MEN. ITS SAD SHIT. MANY BEEN MOLESTED AS LIL GIRLS. GOT HARD HEARTS LIKE THE MEN. THE MEN ALL PUZZIES INSIDE THO. LIL BIOTCHES. HARD ON OUTSIDE, WEAK PUZZIES ON INSIDE. I SEE IT ALL. TRYING THEY DAMNDEST TO CONTROL THE OUTSIDE OF THEIR LIFE....CUZ THEY A SCARED LIL PUZZY. BUT YOU CANT CONTROL LIFE....CUZ GOD IN CONTROL. YOU WILL FALL. CUZ PAPER AINT GONNA LOVE YOU. AINT GONNA BE LOYAL. TRUTH. I HEARD A RAP SONG THAT SAID HE'D RATHER CHASER PAPER THAN GET HEAD IN THE SHOWER. NOW A SUZY SAY DATS SOME GAY SHYT RIGHT THERE. SOMETHING WRONG HERE. HOW MANY TIMES A MAN ASK ME HOW I CAN MAKE HIM SOME MONEY? ARE THEY ASKING BLACK WOMEN THIS SHYT? I WONDER. OR IS THERE SOME RACISM GOING ON. IDK. OR ARE MEN JUS THAT WARPED IN THEIR THINKING....MONEY THAT MUCH ON THEIR MINDS THEY DONT KNOW WHAT IS APPROPRIATE TO SAY? I DONT EVEN CARE NO MO' IM SICK OF IT. GET UR MINDS RIGHT. AND HEARTS. AND SOULS. IT USED TO BE A MAN TOOK CARE OF WOMAN. IF YOU GOT SO MUCH MONEY....YOU WOULDNT BE ASKING A WOMAN TO MAKE YOU SOME. SOME TOP O' TOP BULLSHYT. JESUS IS TAKING NOTES. BELIEVE THAT. **************................ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .......................... *****SOME TID BITS OUT OF MY GENIUS BRAIN: THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FREAK AND A HO! MOST MEN DONT KNOW THIS LOGIC. RECOGNIZE! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING LONELY AND DESPERATE. A SUZY HERE IS LONELY AS HELL! BIG DIFFERENCE! THERE'S A LINE BETWEEN BEING FREAKY AND BEING CRUDE AND INAPPROPRIATE AND RUDE BOYS!!! MEN CROSS IT A LOT WITH ME. THAT IS THE TYPE I SEEM TO ATTRACT. NOT MY FAULT. DUDES OUT OF BLUE WALK RIGHT UP AND SAY SOME SHIT. LIKE...GURLLLL MY DYICK IS PRIME DYICK YOU GOT TO PAY FOR IT. AND YOU WANT TO TASTE THIS DYICK? AND SUCH. A SUZY GETS VERBALLY ABUSED N TALKED TO DISRESPECTFULLY ON THA DAILY. TREATED LIKE ONE OF 3 HOLES; PUZZY AZZ OR MOUTH! CALLED DUMB BYITCH IF DONT GIVE IT TO EM. IT MAKES ME CRY IM SO TIRED. I STAND UP FOR MYSELF. THIS AINT NO DUMB WHITE GURL. BUT WHY I GOT TO DEAL WITH THIS VERBAL ABUSE. 28 YRS WORTH THIS SHYTE, SINCE AGE 14. IV BEEN TOLD I OOZE SENSUALITY, SEXUALITY. OK FINE. BUT I DONT DESERVE ABUSE. I DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED. TREATED SPECIAL. TAKE ME TO FUGKIN APPLEBEE'S SHYTE. IVE RARELY BEEN ON A DATE IN MY LIFE! 28 YRS OF THIS SO CALLED LOVE "GAME!" MY LIL DREAM IS TO BE TAKEN ON A WALK...HE HOLDS MY HAND....IN PUBLIC. AND BE PROUD TO BE WITH A SUZY. GO BACK TO BASICS. NOT HAD THAT LIL WALK BEFORE. SAD HUH? WELL WHERE IS MY DATE? AND MY WALK? IDK. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ........*******BASICS OF SUZY: IMA MAMA IN PAIN. MAMA IN GRIEF; I HAVE A YOUNG BLACK MALE SON IN A GROUP HOME, PUT THERE ILLEGALLY BOT 2 YRS AGO. IV CRIED EVERY DAY. I FOUND GOD THROUGH IT SO, THAT IS GOOD. BUT...ALSO, IV GOT A GENIUS BRAIN. THE BIGGEST HEART YOU'D EVER KNOW. MAKE YOU LAUGH AS MUCH AS A COMEDIAN. KEEN OBSERVER OF LIFE. IM ALSO A SUPA FREAK. ADMITTED FREAK. THERE'S DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FREAK AND A HO. MEN DONT GET THAT LOGIC, USUALLY. BUT I'VE GOT GOD WATCHIN MY BACK. HE MADE ME A HUMAN LIE N TRUTH DETECTOR. I DONT PLAY NO MO' ...SO I DONT DEAL WITH B.S! HOW I SEE IT? YOU WANT TO TRY TO PREY ON A MAMA WHO IS HURTING? THINK SHE'S SOME DUMB WHITE GURL TARGET? HMM....THAT IS SICK MAN. IV MET DUDES ON HERE AND WE HAD ONE CONVERSATION AND HE IS ALREADY CALLING ME A BYTCH AND ANGRY AS HELL. CANT TAKE THAT I SEE THRU HIM. AND HIS LIL FACADE OF SHYT. LOL. AND TELLIN ME TO LOOSE HIS # AND CONFUSED OUT HIS MIND. USUALLY HE CALL A WEEK OR MONTH LATER TRYING AGAIN, THINKIN I WILL HAVE AMNESIA/FORGET HOW LAME HE IS. AND WE GO THRU IT ALL OVER AGAIN. GET HIM DAMN NEAR CRYN N CALLIN ME NAMES AGAIN. I SAY BABY BOY THIS AINT A VERY GOOD FOOT YOU PUTTIN FORWARD. LOL YOU KNOW, YOU SUPPOSED TO PUT UR BEST FOOT FORWARD IN THE BEGINNING LMAO. IF YOUR BEST FOOD IS CALLING ME A BIOTCH. DAYUM....HOWS IT GONNA BE WHEN WE MARRIED HONEY? LOL. FIRST CONVERSATION IMA BIOTCH? AINT THAT NICE. WE NOT A MATCH SIR. BUT THIS HAS HAPPENED A LOT. CUZ I DONT PUT UP WIT SHIT. YOU CALL ME WIT B.S I LET YOU KNOW. FOR REAL. IM VERY NICE PERSON. I AM. LOL. BUT IM NOT THE ONE. IM HURTING. I DONT NEED A SAVIOR. I GOT GOD FOR THAT. BUT HE DOES HAVE MY BACK. I DONT NEED NO THIEVES. LIARS. GAME PLAYERS. NOTHING. IF YOU BRING ANYTHING BUT DECENCY TO ME, YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT. A SUZY USED TO LIVE IN OAKLAND CALI, EAST TO BE EXACT. I DO HAVE SOME STREET IN ME. DONT MAKE ME USE IT. JUS JOKING. BUT FOR REAL. STREET + GENIUS + HUMOR + GOD = ...AHHHH SHYT DATS A LETHAL COMBO YA'LL LOL.+++....................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .....I throw all my cards out there. and i realized its a mess. a pile of suzy cards? lol what if you throw a deck of cards on the floor? what do you get? a big ol mess of cards. lol lol. but....folks say keep it real. keep it 100. ok....so here are alllll my damn cards!!! so tell me what the fugg they mean. ok? IM GIVIN YA'LL WHAT YOU ASKED FOR. lol they seem to think its like reverse psychology. some sort of magic suzy card trick im playing lol. nope its just clear as h2o! no tricks. no games. shyttt. im a lil confused by me. so if YOU figure me out..how about YOU let me know. hey like in that UNO game? they got one card that got some instructions lol.....if you find a card in my suzy deck like dat?!? damn.....read it and explain me, TO ME!!! lol....wish my son came wit one of those instruction cards. whew that would been nice lol...and also some folks dont even want to take time to look at my fuggin cards, amen to dat. so dont pretend you give a fugg bot me. if you dont. f-you and your pretend givin a shyt bot a suzy. that is cruel shyt. take it somewhere else. take it to some sunny personality fool who got no brain. who got no heart. who like a empty robot ditz head idiot gurl. not to someone who like a damn open wound with the biggest heart you ever met! for real. you a devil man? im showing you me....this is me. it aint a joke. you a cruel sick hearted devil if you play wit me. and you wont get away with it, if you play wit me. believe that. no one does these days. Jesus IS taking notes. all day n every day. I am one of God's most faithful Daughters. do i have to remind? guess so. even if you not a believer....lol...u will be...after you fugg wit my heart, mind OR fuggin oooie goooie soul. amen. hallelujah. heed to dat. or dont. life IS about making choices. so to that...any1 ready for some card reading? lol....ok...it may be a dayum mess.......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ....

Rat Thug-Boyz always seem to b searching for a proFit, yet they've got a proPHet spewin TRUTH at their faces tha whole time! They just dont care to hear or listen! AMEN! -Prophet Suzy!......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ===== IM'A SELF PROFESSED SOCIOLOGIST; FOCUS IN RAT THUG BOYZ.... AND I'M RETIRING ASAP!!! AMEN? A-FUGGING-MEN! HALLELUJAH!HALLELUJAH!........ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................s o ci ol o gy (ss-l-j, -sh-) n. 1. The study of human social behavior, especially the study of the origins, organization, institutions, and development of human society. 2. Analysis of a social institution or societal segment as a self-contained entity or in relation to society as a whole......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ...............Fat or Ho? LOL I decided to cut n paste this a lighn' this up and put this part and the metaphor I made up in my genius sexy blond head lil brain about the 'thug boyz being like feral wild cats' which i wrote next lol...so you all dont get too damn fukn depressed by me lol....ok so here you go so you know ima funny %#&@$! biotch 2! cuz Prophet Suzy gots stories man! ok! here you go n shut up man...be offended some where else CUZ THIS MY DANG PAGE! lol you all say you want some1 who; keeps it real! or like that stupid short lil biotch ray-j says; keeps it 100!! lol well I actually do! but see? thing is when i do? boyz run for the damn hills. they cant handle the truth. no. truth is scary. as with the Prophets....no one hears the truth. They believe the Prophet bot the flood that he warned bot only when the water slams in their faces lmao! So...When a bich azz sayz he...keeps it real; that to me is red flag for He keeps it real full of bull shyt!!! ha ha. and that is for real! for real for realz! amen! ok so....on with tha Prophet Suzy comedy;*********************** ************* .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. . OOOHHH...and SO....I SAID TO A THUG BOY lol HEY YOU GOT A PUFFY BLACK JACKET, GOLD GRILL AND WALK PIT BULLS???!!! in a rather non-challant casual voice to him..., then he say hella angry and confused: what the fugg no! why?? lol I laugh in his face and say: Well you may as well get them AND MAKE THE STEREOTYPE COMPLETE!!! LOL LOL and a dumb thug boy in the corner who is as dumb as a pile or rocks says all happy: Where are the pit bulls??!!!??? Where are the pit bulls??!! LOL AND Thug Boy #1 yells at him: THERE AINT NO FUGGIN PITTS NICCA!!!!! LOL AH HA HA HA....NO WONDER SO MANY THUGG BOYS MAD AT PROPHET SUZY....THAT IS WHY MY WHITE BUTT STOPPED DRINKING....I WAS PISSING TOO MANY OFF WITH MY COMEDIC SKILLZ....LOL..AHH....OH BOY........................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ...............FAT OR HO?! Come up with a more intelligent, more original insult man. damn.....that is so typical a white boy calling a woman fat! %#&@$!....if you were a black man instead of saying she's fat, you'd be calling her a ho! That's the first things you abusive men fall back on when you want to degrade a woman. lol....truth!................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .......................Remembe r learning metaphors in English class? well some of you were not in school, or from ur texting dont seem like it. ohhhh snap! anyway pretend! example; love is LIKE an ocean breeze lol? ok here's my original one! A thug boy is LIKE a feral wild cat! ha ha...my explanation...they both are scared to death to get close, their hearts are closed to love and both have post traumatic stress! LOL. both will let you get so close...will accept your kindness n even suck you dry of it...and even scratch n bite you and then sucker you back in for another bowl of food and hope you stroke their so called fur some more ha ha. They dont realize that they could just be gracious for your kindness and be kind back and love back! OH WHAT A CRAZY IDEA! OMG! BUT INSTEAD THEY LEACH OFF YOU AND RUN THE HELL AWAY CUZ THEY ARE BOTH ESSENTIALLY A PUZZY! lol....Yah I got em figured out! yep. they both wann fuk you till you sick. and they both so damn cute. shyt....and you wanna help them! oh yes you do. but problem is they dont want your help! they are not fixable! ahh...is sad. they are stuck in hustle fight mode. but at some point you got to move the fuk on! get some therapy or something. but problem there is a feral cat AND a thug boy dont believe in therapy! never seen either on a therapist couch! lol lols.....!!! They just want to be snakes in the grass...whine about how they been hurt, even though the lil thug boy been in the love game.................. ohhh 4-10 yrs at tops! lol oh did his first gurl in high school hurt him? come on now, I have post traumatic stress too! been abused n molested! i been in this love game over 25 yrs n been mentally n emotionally abused that whole time and my heart never closed up! no iv not had tha ghetto but shyt...it time to be a big boy and move tha fuk on! stop being a walkin talkin stereotype caricature in their puffy black jackets n gold grills thinkin they so hard...boys who folks laugh at! seriously. and I did spend 25 yrs tryin to help those boyz. I admit it. I am fully honest. and in psychologist terms all that does enable them. keep them where they at! They need to help themselves and most wont. sad. here kitty kitty kitty...ouch! dam, stop scratchin, u scared puzzy ughh....lol u know how cats be acting crazy lol its a site to see! OH and here is something totally probably racist LOL but funny if I were say Dave Chappel, so imagine Im not a white gurl...ok they got those wild animal rescue folks who de-wild the wild animals!!! Maybe I could finally get one of those sexy azz thug boys to love me back, turn one those ho's into my man if I got tips from one them wild rescue folks?!? LMAO?!? How they calm them animals down? HA HA. ok sorry. well....it a thought. ok never mind, smh sigh...maybe on a purple planet lol...not earth......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ................WOMAN, WHERE ARE THOSE THINE ACCUSERS? HATH NO MAN CONDEMNED THEE?...said by; Jesus in John 8:10 (lol naw the fools all walked away cuz they knew they were just falsely judging her! As men judge women especially n humans so often do each other in general in error. Judge! We are NOT God...SMH...ahhh....)......... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ....................***WISDOM! CANT GET SUZY A MAN CUZ WHER IS THERE A MAN STRONG ENOUGH 4 A WARRIOR WOMAN? A GENIUS WOMAN? A HUGE HEARTED WOMAN? A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN? NO WHERE I HAVE FOUND IN 26 YRS!!! THEY ARE ALL SCARED OF ME. INTIMIDATED BY ME!!! NO MAN IS STRONG ENOUGH FOR MY STRENGTH, UNIQUENESS, EVEN MY INTENSE PAIN.......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ............IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX, BUT I MAKE IT QUITE CLEAR #1 I DO NOT TOLERATE A LIAR. BUT I HAVE 3 PREREQUISITES TO GET IN BED WIT A SUZY. HERE IS HOW I SEE IT; IF A BABY BOY WANT TO GET ON BOARD THA S.S. SUZY...WELL SIR, THERE ARE RULES! FOLLOW THEM OR YOU DONT COME ON BOARD! PERIOD. IF YOU WANT TO LIE TO GET UR FOOT/DIK IN THE DOOR? SHYT THAT IS ON U. I SAY GO RAPE A WOMAN IN A DARK STREET. CUZ YOU ARE PITIFUL BIOTCH PUZZY TO HAVE TO LIE TO GET SOME PUZZY, AINT YAH? WHY YOU GOT TO DO THAT? THAT IS NOT OK SIR. I GOT ENOUGH PAIN IN MY LIFE. PLEASE DONT WASTE MY OR YOUR TIME. I LET ALL BOY I MEET KNOW WHAT I REQUIRE. AND I AM KEEPING IT REAL; CUZ I DONT LIE!!! BUT THEN MOST MEN JUDGE ME FOR IT. SO I EXPECT YOU TO COME AT ME THE SAME. NOW WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS. SO DONT JUDGE ME. WE ALL LIKELY HAVE SEX. SO SHUT THA...FOR ME ADMITTING IM NOT A VIRGIN. LMAO SHAKING MY HEAD. SOME ON NOW. OK....HERE WE GO. #1 YOU MUST KISS ME. CUZ IM DONE WIT BEING FUGGED LIKE A PROSTITUTE. GET A PROSTITUTE IF YOU WANT THAT! I NEED A CONNECTION WIT MY FACIAL LIPS N NOT JUST MY PUZZY LIPS! AMEN! OKAY #2 YOU MUST MUST MUST EAT MY FAT PUZZY! ITS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE ME CUM WIT UR DIK ONLY. NERVE ENDINGS ARE ON THE CLIT. SO THAT IS WHERE ITS AT. IMA DO YOU? U GONNA DO ME. IF YOU WANT ME. I SPENT 25 YRS NOT GETTING PLEASED. AND NOW #3 U MUST HIT IT DEEP AND HARD ENOUGH TO HIT THA BACK....MAKE IT HURT A LIL BIT. OKAY? THAT LIKELY REQUIRE SOME CONTROL ON UR PART AND SOME LENGTH. THICKNESS IS ALWAYS A PLUS LOL BUT NOT REQUIRED FOR #3. LOL. SO...AS I SAID IF YOU WANT TO COME TO ME AND LIE ABOUT ANY ONE OF THESE 3 OR MORE? AND YOU DO MAKE IT TO MY BED....WELL YOU WILL BE KICKED THE F OUT MY BED AND MY LIFE. TOOT'D N BOOT'D! MAY EVEN BLOCK UR NUMBER FROM VERIZON. LOL YOU WILL SAY UHH UHH UHH SUZY UR PUZZY SOOO GOOD YOU NOT GONA GIVE THIS TO NO MORE NICCAS RIGHT...IT MINES NOW RIGHT...? TELL ME!!! WIT ALL THAT PANIC IN UR VOICE....YOU LIED BIOTCH. TIME TO GET THA FUKK UP AND GO. U DIDNT KNOW UR ROLE. YOU WANTD FUGG ME LIKE A PROSTITUTE? AND THEN BE MY MAN? OHHH NO....THIS IS MY HOUSE. BYE! UR OUT LIKE SAUERKRAUT! SLAPITY SLAP SLAP! YOU KNEW THA RULES......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .....HOW COME EVERYONE SAYS: I keeps it REAL! Then LIE steadily lie in ur face?!? They say they jus want an honest real woman?!? Tha fuk they do. Palease. Men/Boys dont know what to do with a honest woman and furthermore they judge the hell outa me when I am honest! I dont want one more biotch stepping my way who acts this way. Problem is 26yrs I've only met ummm 100% who act this way! Ima be fair and say 99.9% of men are this way. Humans actually. Men who are honest...the .1% i never encountered may experienced this, likely have! Well here I am! been here that whole damn time! I am honest. real. got so much love squished inside me it hurts like hell. more love to give than I need it. and the bible says its better to give love than recieve it and i said i have it to give before i even read that shyt lol! so ima saint lol just joking. but a suzy is a fuking Prophet. n thot u knew! cuz i speak the damn truth but no one wants to hear it or listen! ya'll be laughing in my face. as you lie in it. biotches. LIKE TOO SHORT SAYS; BIOTCH IS HIS FAV WORD. I CANT SPELL IT OUTRIGHT CUZ BP WONT LET ME LOL BUT LIKE HE SAY, I SAY IT TO. BIOTCH IS MY FAV WORD! B-IOTCH! WHO IS HONEST. AND REAL FOR REAL DAMN IT? WHERE IS THE .1% I SAY YOU ARE RAPING MY EMOTIONS. MY MIND. MY SOUL. YOU LIE TO GET SOME PUZZY. YOU PUZZIES. GO READ MY BLOG "99.9% OF MEN ARE RAPISTS" CUZ RAPING THE SOUL IS MORE PAINFUL AND LONGER THAN PHYSICAL RAPE. I KNOW BOTH!!! JUST FIND A FINE SEXY STRANGER AND RAPER HER PHYSICALLY. DONT ASK ME ABOUT MY SON AND MY LIFE U BIOTCHES. FOR REAL. WHEN YOU DONT GIVE A SHYT. AND SAY YOU WANT TO KEEP IT REAL....REAL? MAN...GET UP OUT MY SEXY FACE WITH THAT....MO'FO' LOL YAH I SAID IT. CLOSE UR DAMN EAR SOME MO' N LAUGH ME ALL THE WAY TO THE PROPHET I AM. CUZ WHEN YOU LAUGH YOU JUST MAKE ME LAUGH! CUZ U REITERATE WHO I AM! LOL A PROPHET WHO I OSTREZISED AND PERSECUTED AND HARASSED FOR THE GOD DAMNED TRUTH. BUT JESUS TAKES NOTES. I DESREVE BETTER. GOD KNOWS. KEEPING IT REAL MY WHITE AZZ. ITS CUTE TOO. NOT A SISTAH BOOTY BUT ENOUGH TO GRAB ONTO. LOL. FOOLS......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ............Then Jesus told them; A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family. And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief. Matthew 13:57-58.............AS SUZY KEEPS SAYING; NO 1 LISTENED TO THA PROPHETS EITHER. WHICH MEANS YOU PROBABLY WONT LISTEN TO ME/READ MY PAGE IN THIS HERE PLANET/IN OUR BLACK HOMETOWN LOL LOL LOL...JUST LIKE MY FAMILY BETRAYED. ETC. ETC. MAYBE U KNOW WHAT THAT IS LIKE...WHEN YOU TRIED TO SPEAK TRUTH. AMEN? A.....MEN!.................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ........ARE THERE ANY BLACK MEN THAT ACTUALLY WANT A WHITE WOMAN FOR PUBLIC? NOT JUST TO FUGG IN PRIVATE? IM THINKING NO. CUZ THAT IS MY EXP IN 26 YRS. SINCE WAS AGE 14. MOST STEREOTYPE US AS JUST HOS. FIGURATIVE OR LITERAL! HEY MAN I FUGG FOR FREE LOL. BUT FOR REAL...GET UR OWN MIND. STOP BEING RACIST. THAT IS WHAT IT IS. AND SHALLOW. AND A FOOL. WE TREAT YOU KIND. WE ARE GENEROUS. YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE. UR THAT FOOL. NOT US. THERE IS A DIFF BETWEEN A FREAK AND HO. U KNOW? USE LOGIC. A WOMAN MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD...AND YOU GO BACK TO UR BOYS AND RATHER TALK SHYT BOT HOW SHE A HO. VS GET SOME MORE LOVE N CARING. LOGIC? OR STUPIDITY BIOTCHES? U KNOW THE ANSWER NOW THAT PROPHET SUZY SPOKE. IM TIRED. SO FED UP. IM NOT ANGRY. JUST SPEAKING BEING REAL. WHICH EVERYONE THAT SAYS: I KEEPS IT REAL. JUS THEN LIES TO YOUR FACE! AND THAT IS REAL. AND WHEN YOU KEEP IT REAL AND HONEST TO THEM? WELL YA'LL JUST CANT HANDLE TRUTH. AND IM NOT RUDE BOT IT. I WAS RAISED WITH MANNERS. SO TAKE MY TRUTH. BUT NO ONE LISTENED TO THA PROPHETS EITHER. LOL AND LIKE I SAY TO THE BITCHES IN OAKLAND CALI AT THA CLUBS WHO SAY TO ME: DAYUM GURLLLL....FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT DRINK..UR SURE TO CHATTER A LOT...! I SAY: SORRY IM MESSIN UP UR HIGH! LOL LOL LOL!!!!....................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ...........delusional men: HERE IS UR SUZY SEX LESSON 101: i cant cumm from a dick only. how can you satisy me? almost no women cumms from a dick alone. most men think so. yah it feels good. but there are few nerve endings inside a vajina. they can do minor surgery in there w/out anesthesia my dr said. its just muscle walls. the clit is where we have sensitivity. so unless as you fugg you are rubbin on our clit...or you are lickin the clit...a woman is not going to cumm! ya'll be saying some outlandish crap like "gurl i felt you cumm all ova my d!" come on now! do you not know a woman does not ejaculate lol. man...and what made you even think that i did cumm? huh? ur some arrogant mo' fo's for that shyt. for real! palease. get over urselves. most only care about fuggin like fast rabbits and getting off. I can say ohhh yah i like dat! and u dont listen. switch up n stop! im like i said I LIKED DAT!!! U GOT EARS??? nope. and then wonder why i dont call ur azs back. like a lil by-itch next time see you "suzyyyy why dont u return my calllls?" no point baby boy. u dont care how i feel. point blank. So heres a biology lesson: in fact we are all a baby girl xx chromosomes at first then the y comes from the male if it turns into a boy. and the clit grows into a peniz! and the vajina lips into the testicals. tha is a trip. so that is why a male always has an x chromosome...mom sends that down....and males have an x and y...depending on what his sends makes a boy or girl!......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. UPDATE 7/29/10 Even a newborn will die if it does not get touch. -Prophet Suzy................amen!..... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ....WELLLLLL.... I need to be touched in a different way than like I have been; as if I am a prostitute like I have been touched for the past 26 YEARS! I am in need of love and caring. But this by no means translates to me being needy or desperate. I wanted a man yesterday. 26 years ago. a real one who cares. Who was there for me. I prayed the other day "God, Why has not ONE human ever been there for me? Why do ALL humans disappoint me? I am past the anger stage in life. sad....somewhat in that. but most all just disappointed. always disappointed. My heart is not cold. I always have hope. and then they disappoint. every time. Why not just ONE? Just ONE? When is my grace and mercy? Just one? just one........................... .............................. .............................. .............................. ....... .............................. .............................. .............................. ..........UPDATE7/8/10MY SON BACK IN PSYCH HOSPITAL 4TH TIME AND 8-9TH TIME SUICIDAL I LOST COUNT IN 1O 1/2 MONTHS IN CPS' "PROTECTION&a mp;quot; NEVER ANY THIS HAPPENED IN 14YRS OF MY CARE!! YET IM THE ACCUSED ABUSER. THIS IS HELL. HELL IS HERE ON EARTH. I NEED SOME CARING. IM HURTING. BAD. IM HONEST ABOUT MYSELF. IM A FREAK. BUT I NEED MORE THAN DEEP AND HARD. HAD ENOUGH BEING TREATED LIKE A PROSTITUTE. I ALSO SO BADLY NEED TOUCH. KISSES. TO BE HELD. MY HAIR AND SKIN TO BE KISSED AND TOUCHED. CAN A MAN JUST LET ME CRY? WOW. I CANT EVEN IMAGINE. NONE CAN EVEN HANDLE ME TALKING ABOUT THIS. NONE. I HAVE NO FRIENDS THAT CAN. THEY JUST RUN FOR THE HILLS. SO I AM TOTALLY ALONE. MY FAMILY LEFT LONG TIME AGO. THEY INSTIGATED ALL THE FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND PERSECUTION. CPS HAS ALMOST TOTALLY SEVERED THE BOND BETWEEN A MAMA AND HER BOY. HE IS ALMOST 15 AND GROWING INTO A MAN WITHOUT ME. HE LIKES CLOTHES AND GIRLS AND TALKS ABOUT GETTING HIS DRIVERS PERMIT! HE LOKS LIKE A YOUNG MAN! HE LOOKS MORE LIKE HIS DAD WHOM HE NEVER MET. NOT LIKE ME LIKE HE USED TO. HE HAS GROWN. HE TALKS DEEPER. ITS TIME TO GET HIS WISDOM TEETH OUT!! THAT IS A MILESTONE IN A TEENS LIFE. SUCH SMALL THINGS...BUT YET NOT SMALL AT ALL. THOSE ARE THE THINGS...THAT YOU CHERISH WHEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE FOR THEM. YOU CAN DIE DURING ANESTHESIA. YET THEY DONT GET THAT. ANYWAY. THAT IS MY BIG BABY. REALLY MY FUK'N TEETH YOU WANT TO GET REAL BOT IT. I USED TO BE THERE WHEN HE WAS IN PAIN. NOW HE DONT SEEM TO EVEN NEED ME. CUZ WELL HE GROWN. I GUESS? I CANT SLEEP MOST NIGHTS. UP 24 HRS A LOT. LOST OVER 65 POUNDS THE FIRST MONTHS. AND STILL LOOSING BUT ITS PLATEAUD A LOT. I ONLY EAT ONE MEAL A DAY. AND HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF TO DO THAT. ITS NOW 3:20 AM AND GOT A SUB SANDWICH BUT NOT ATE IT YET. DIDNT EAT ALL DAY....WNT TO A NIGHTCLUB TO DANCE ALONE IN A DARK CORNER TO SOME RAP TO FEEL THE VIBRATIONS IN MY BODY TO TUNE OUT MY FEELINGS....THE BOYS AR SCARED OF ME SINCE I LOST WEIGHT LOL NO JOKE AND I DONT DRINK AND WATCHING DRUNK FOLK IS A TURN OFF! HAVE YOU DONE IT? UGHH AND THE CROWD WHEN YOU ALONE.....IS SAD. ALONE IN A CROWED. THEY NOT YOUR FRIENDS. JUST A BUNCH OF DRUNK FAKE PEOPLE GRINDING ON EACH OTHER. ME THERE PEOPLE WATCHING AND DISGUSTED AND TRYIN NOT TO CRY. SO I JUST GOT THE SANDWICH AND STILL NOT ATE IT. I STOPPED DRINKING AND FOUND GOD IN ALL THIS. WHICH IS GOOD. ID NOT B ALIVE OTHER WISE. I WISH I HAD A MAN WHO COULD JUST BE THERE. NOT ASKING FOR MUCH. IM NOT ASKING FOR A DAMN SAVIOR. TO FIX IT OR ME. NO. I AM STRONG. I AM AMAZING. IVE SURVIVED. I JUST WANT A LIL BIT OF CARING. A FRIEND. SOME TOUCH. THE RIGHT KIND FOR ONCE. IM HURTING. IM NOT TO PRIDEFUL TO SAY IT. THAT IS ALL. NEWBORNS WILL DIE IF THEY ARE NOT TOUCHED. AND I FEEL LIKE IM DYING. I THINK MY SON ADN I ARE BOTH DYING. SLOWLY AND THAT IS LIKE BEING STONED TO DEATH. SOMETIMES I WISH IT WERE IN GOD'S PLANS FOR ME..THE STEPS HE ORDERED BEFORE I WAS BORN...THAT THEY WERE NOT LONG ONES..THAT THEY WILL BE ENDING SOON. I AM HONEST AND TOLD HIM THAT TOO. SAID AM SORRY. SAID I WONT DO ANYTIGN TO HARM MYSELF GOD. BUT. I DONT LIKE IT HERE. THIS IS AWFUL. IM HURTING. SOME CALL ME A HYPOCRITE. SAY ONE MINUTE YOU TALK ABOUT GOD. THE NEXT SEX. WELL I SAY TO THAT F YOU. LOL CUZ I LOOK UP THE DEFINITION OF HYPOCRTIE AND THAT IS NOT ME. IT IS A PERSON WHO PUTS ON A FALSE APPEARANCE AND OH NO. NOT ME. I AM THE MOST HONEST ANDE AUTHENTIC AND GENUINE. JESUS NEVER SAID WE ARE PERFECT. HE SAID WE ALL SIN. I ADMIT ALL I DO AND HAVE DONE WRONG. HE CREATED SEX EVEN. LOL THOSE UPTIGHT CHRISTIANS THAT WANT TO PRETEND OTHERWISE AND PRETEND THEY ARE NOT FORNICATING THEN SEXUALLY ABUSE IN CHURCH....GO ON AND JUDGE ME AND OTHERS. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME 3 TIMES IN 10 MONTHS. AM JUST GLAD I DIDNT TURN AWAY FROM GOD. AM SURE MANY DO. SO SICK EVIL AND SAD. NO I SPEAK THE TRUTH. NOTHING FALSE. I AM A PHILOSOPHER BY NIGHT AND A PROPHET BY DAY! AMEN. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ................UPDATE6/12/10 not gonna write too muuch now. but I had to find a new church. 3rd one in 10 months since finding God for first time in my life. and 3rd incident in a black church of basically being sexually abused/harassed. Once by a married minister. Way I see it now is the push hard core this shyt ;no fornication; even no masturbation blah blah blah but you know what? those folks are either liars or bursting at the seems with perversion. like the Catholic priests sexually molesting kids and the evangelists on tv busted for seeking prostitutes. HIV is highest in black folks. so. what is up. its fear. its guilt. its secrecy. its un-education. ITS FKING OLD SKOOL OLD TESTAMENT RELIGION THAT IS OUT DATED. AND UN NATURAL. THIS IS NOT WHAT GOD WANTS FOR ME. MARRIAGE MAY NOT EVEN BE IN MY STEPS HE PLANNED FOR ME! Dont masturbate! First time I heard that I thought...wow. These are some uneducated...wow. for real. enuff said. well lol no. I have a lot more to say. but I was told 2 sundays ago by a man I thought of as a big brother that he looked up my skirt when i was kneeling to pray at my "fat P..sy" yah that is nice. and that all the men discussed it lol yah even better. and that they "all know ur a freak" ahhh....better. and all the women think it too. oh great! maybe we cold get some of that female on female fantasy happening I always wanted to try lol. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well there was that one time back...lol ok ok....and this is 2nd time when I was having MY EYES CLOSED PRAYING! AND CRYING TOO. YES. IN A HOUSE OF GOD. SO I WILL ADD A LIL QUOTE AND BE DONE TALKING FOR A LIL WHILE. BUT IM NOT DONE WITH MY FATHER AND HE STILL SAY I AM ONE OF HIS MOST FAITHFUL AND HE IS SMACKIN HECK OUTTA THOSE WHO MESS WITH ME. I FEAR FOR THEM. OH!........................... .............................. .............................. .............................. ..........."The prophet is a watchman over Israel for my God,yet traps are laid for him wherever he goes. He faces hostility even in the house of God.....God will not forget. He will surely punish them for their sins." Hosea 9:8-9 .............................. .............................. .............................. .....................UPDATE4/1 2/10:......................... .............................. .. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:11-12 (New International Version)...................... .............................. .............................. ................Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.Matthew 5:10 .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ................ .............................. .................;The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. Jeremiah 17:9-10....................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .........................Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them. For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul. Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall. And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation.; Psalm35:6-9................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ............ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ........................ 2/9/10 update: Most recent thoughts; realization I just thought of; more than that I need or want love is the fact that I am filled to the f'kn rim with love...a lifetime of it and its damn near killing my heart and soul with no outlet for it! The times or men/boys I've tried to give some of it to have only abused and used it; they've been so ungrateful and greedy. Just snakes one after the other for 25 yrs straight. like leaches or vampires sucking me dry ahhh....Well what I want and need is a man who will fully cherish my love and be grateful for it. I am not needy ya'll! and it feels good to come to this realization. More than needing love, I want to love someone! I have to love someone! It hurts me not to let it out! Literally is painful. So that is the wisdom and knowledge that God sent me recently...................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ... ++++disclaimer: so you dont waste your time or mine: had some guys recently on here do just that...They say "I dont got time to be reading all that shyt!" OK good to know if you cant or do not like to read! Not interested in an illiterate man. Next! lol. But many of this type of boy take it further to verbally abuse me in a note by cursing me out...I will psychoanalyze this; this type of boy, because No he is not a man, has inferiority issues, needs to control a woman. But he doesnt realize I love to be controlled in the bedroom. He wouldnt knw that cause he didnt take time to find out. This boy probably has a small dyck, which I call "The Napoleon Dyck Complex" as he compensates for his smallness by acting "large!&q uot; This type of man can not handle a strong woman, thus needs to try to break her down as a pimp does a ho, he attempts to bring down her self esteem thus hoping to get her to actually want to be with him when she is at her lowest point and feels she is worthless. Alas, he has a "woman&qu ot; all his own, though she's more like flimsy brain dead brainwashed almost not alive road kill! but....HE IS IN CONTROL! So, he is happy. Yahhhhhhh!!! Success! So If you are Boy like this and have the time n energy to be cursing at me..but not the time to read my page and see that I already have enough bullshyt and people like you in my life....then realize you dont phase me. You are just another fly buzzing in my face. I just swat you away with the rest. be gone. damn.......................... .............................. ...........................The next type of Boy I despise and expect to not approach me; there was a dude this one was a piece of work! He apparently did not read my page or did and thought it was a joke or only looked at my photos and maybe his dick got hard and his eyes and brain stopped reading? not sure. But dont even want a FAIR WEATHER FRIEND at all, dont bother if that is all you can be to me! I make it very clear. I want to be alone unless you can enhance my life and really be there for me during the hard times! My Son who has a form of Autism went to the hospital for the 4th time in 3 months (under cps/child protective serives care! they took him sayin I was abusing him!!! when i was really his advocate for 14 yrs, but they almost let him get killed and prevented me from saving his life almost! wow. they need be sued. at the VERY least...whew...glad he safe now...sick stuff) for tryin to kill himself and will now go to a grouphome and this worthless abusive immature azz I met on BP was supposed to have a first date with me that same day yet somehow sent me a slew of harassing texts all day long and....so please...dont try to even talk to me and ask me about myself if you really dont care. I dont have energy left in my life. The devil hittin me hard....IN 3 MONTHS TIME SINCE BEIN SAVED, LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, AND SURE LEAVIN SOMETHING OUT: been robbed at least 6 times, had cps take my son, he tried kill himself 4 times in 3 months, he got a form of autism, been single mom 14 yrs, had married minister who was first one to reach out to me at my first church of my life ruin the church for me....lied, got his wife to threaten me, turn the whole church on me to make his fake-ungodly-devil's puppet-unGodly-prideful-butt appear pearly white while he made me out to be some white ho temptress! pretty much opened the doors for the devil to come in and get me at the hands of playa playa so called minister, who supposed to be a worker for God! and the devil laughing his azz off, while Jesus sat and took notes the whole time! ahhhhh..So...I dont even want fake friends in my life. I like to be alone. I like quiet. I like to observe. I prefer homeless people. They are nice! They have compassion. And dont laugh. They are real! and still dont laugh. Its damn true. I drink coffee and people watch and they are the realest folks on the planet! and the most misunderstood...I bet they are often in the place they are cause of that very reason...folks turned their fake azz noses down on them! Just like that prideful fake church did to me! Frauds. Cheats. Liars. So sad. It ruffled my faith a lot. 39 yrs it took God to get me!! Those "leaders& quot; ohhh they are gonna pay so hard. God is very angry. They tried to hinder the path of a newly saved. wohhh....I feel lil sorry for them. but....then again, not so much. I am strong but what playa playa "minister&amp ;quot; man did could have had devastating results if I had not been so strong. I pray they dont hurt anyone worse....he got suspended though...at least that happened...but they wont admit it was cause of me. but I know it was. ahhh...so...dont try to play games. that man who waste my time btw the bp dude number is blocked on my cell already lol, so dont play with me, dont have any energy. the devil dont even scare me anymore. but im tired man. so............................ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .......First, since I obviously have a lot to say & realize many of you may not read much of this (if that is the case then you n I are a VERY bad match anyway cause I got stories ya'll lol) but need to say...I just got saved 5 1/2 months ago and begun a new life, am on a new path. Aside from needing a man of God, let me tell you my top 3 requirements in a man: number1- He must not run like a scared puzzy when I cry! not if, cause life is hard and I'm getting old lol so WHEN. number2- he must be freaky and match up in the bedroom and we must have that magnetic lightning bolt type attraction. number3- he must not lie/must be honest, because lies only cause bad communication and I am not able to decipher through bullshyt. so here we go............................ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ...........and got to say I am honest to the core, to the point of making some folks unhappy sometimes, I do have tact though! But I have the opposite of of a poker face! Cant fake a smile in a job interview, if I'm not happy a smile aint happening! If I'm happy about something or attracted to you then you WILL know just by lookin at my face! I am not fake! I am a genius. and not just arrogant or prideful, just tellin the truth ruth (lol and where did that saying come from, cant remember). am also damn cute and have some really weird sex appeal....even when I was damn near 100 pounds heavier and even if I have no make up on and if late for an appntmnt and dont take a shower (no dont do that hardly ever lol) hmmm not sure what it is...not saying am the best looking girl in the world...but...I got some serious sex appeal and attract alllll types...damn...it really is not cool actually cause most men dont take me seriously...dont see my genius brain and my 99.9% honest heart, my hugely caring heart, they dont see past...their dick being hard basically. Like the lil dude in Jamiaca said to me "whenever I see you my dick gets hard..." well...that about says it all. not saying I'm all that...but that how men have come at me all of my life. and I need much more and....NEXT PARAGRAPH IS THE PART THAT ONLY TRUE BELIEVERS IN GOD WILL THINK IS COOL, THE REST WILL THINK I AM TOTALLY DELUSIONAL AND CRAZY......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. ...........so...God told me recently, and I thought I already knew this but dont think it had sunk in really, God told me that I deserve better. over and over I heard Him say this. better than what I've gotten in men in the past. and was told it was never my fault how I've been treated and abused. and Ive been told many more things. NOW humans have told me many times in my life that I am crazy and delusional....and I will tell you that I am more likely to be a prophet for God than I am to be crazy or delusional. and all the folks who call me crazy are more likely to be idiots. I am not sure if I quoted it here yet lol cause I keep adding and adding stuff and if you like me u better keep readin n reading, cause that is the type of man who will be right for me, but a homeless dude said "there's a thin line between insanity and genius." yep there sure is! and I have a feeling all those so called homeless delusional schizophrenics out there who say God is talking to them, who everyone threw away may just have really been right! Quite possibly God spoke to them and all their stupid azz family didnt listen to them and their so called fake dr's didnt either....well I have damn near gone crazy from no one listening to me. I am Amos from the Bible...he is a prophet I love...had a message and everyone thought he was nuts. didnt want to hear him. Jesus was ignored. they all hated him. thought he was crazy! hmmmm, really? nice. well. not sayin I'm Jesus but...lol..................... .............................. .............................. .............................. ........ Ok what else you get if you r 1 for me? I'm a damn freak, but am conflicted. and dont want to say that cause then you will try to be with me for that. But it not that easy. cause God is cokk blockin and your dick might blow up if you try lol. for real though. sex is not that easy to come by. sometimes I think of doing it....then it just doesnt happen. I need more. Sex for physical sex sake is not what I want or need. It will literally kill me...my soul, my mind, and possibly my body...you know hiv and such. its just not worth it. I met men before and some stole from me, some tried to kill me, some just abused my mind. It was a waste of time. Never in my life did even ONE love me. So theres zero chance I'm gonna meet one online and %#&@$! him to just get my freak on to satisfy my freaky urges and find love that way ZERO ZERO ZERO. I already tried that. and like I said I am honest. God knows me. God made me. I can be a freak and a freak for God too. He know me and made me and he has a sense of humor too. he want me honest vs stuffy and full of %#&@$! like some of those so called Christians. that my view. but...what to do about the sex side of things? well for now. nothing i guess. till like I said.....a man can be there for me and not run like a motha %#&@$!in scared %#&@$! puzzy when shyt hits the fukn fan lol ahhh he needs to be my rock. ohhh I make jokes. but life is so hard. I am funny! that is another of my qualities. You will never be bored. I am intense. passionate. sensitive..................... .............................. .........................and basically aside from needing a rock. I think what I need is a man to be patient and just be there and get me over that....hump....like teach me how to trust...cause I never had a man be patient. All I ever had was men, even family, treated me like I was a pain in the %#&@$!, and like a pest, and not like I was amazing as I am, cause I am amazing and I know I am now, but it took me 39 damn years and God to tell me this. I am so unique man. Im a handful though. So if any black men out there know Cat Stevens lol he sang a song "Hard Headed Woman" lol that is kinda me and it took God 39 yrs to get this stubborn hard headed woman....but I just want to find me a man who wants a hard headed woman...and then I want him to not abuse me or make me submit to him...I want him to love me for me and all my uniqueness n freakiness...be unique n freaky together! LOL you just dont know...what you would get with me. damn it makes me angry sometimes....I'm sitting on a gold mine and its just wasting away....damn....lol...ahhh my brain needs to rest now. lol. ok so there you go. I'm an open book. and if you gonna write to me and tell me "you dont gotta put all yo info out ther lik dat" just dont bother. I like to throw it out there, if you dont like it then I know sooner than later......................... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ........(this next part part is a lil older, from ummm I think sept or so, the above stuff just added wrote nov '09)...................... ok had the hardest times of my life recently, no joke, but i guess when you at the bottom only place to go is up, right? And I kept asking myself Why why why? But the why of it is not really important cause it all brought me to God...A friend and her dad asked me to go to church, so that is what is up with me now...prayin and prayin and having faith that things will work. The basics...eating, sleepin, exercising, tryin to stay calm n avoid stress n drama. thse r my main goals right now. sleep is hard though. I wish I could add a good strong man to the mix, who had my back and was there for me to hold me up when I was down, who would not run when I cry, who could help me when even my family was condemning me and treating me badly...ohhhh God knows I've been treated wrongly and I know in the end it will all work its way out, but right now its so hard. I've been over here taking long walks by the beach at sunset to be by nature and pray when the sun goes down. not going out or drinking alcohol, avoiding all the losers who spread rumors about me and tried to treat me like trash. some how through it all I feel the most clear headed and strong than i ever have in my life! I know God is there and i know that everyone who has wronged me is going to feel some remorse at some point and will have to answer to God...wow it just all came at once though....was like everyone around me friends family strangers acquaintances etc brought drama and crazy stuff my way and i just hit my breaking point,, no joke. no joke. and it was coming for a long time. and i am glad the suffering is over now! .............................. .............................. ........At church they talk about when you turn ur life over to God and start on a good path that the devil n evil try to bring you back...the more faith you have the more force and evil pull on you....well I can list the shyt that been pullin on me! its almost comical how bad its been...just this past week had my apartment burglarized...they sick motha fuggers stole 8 of my sons collection of basketballs! wtf? and brushed their teeth w/my toothbrush and did some sexual stuff in my bed (no am not gonna explain how I know, but it was VERY obvious and VERY violating.) Then when the cops in my apt. they hung around and went to my car and broke into that and stole my purse too. You know...My son in the hospital, His bike which was very expensive that i bought got stolen within 7 hrs after I bought it, had 2 men pull knives on me in the past 6 months another threaten me...and on and on all through the bible you read of persecution and false accusations...well...my faith is damn strong right now and the devil working on me hard. I have had enough though. I really have. Someone told me to tell God I'm angry and this is enough........................ .............................. .............................. .............................. ...................... ..............I just deleted a lot of info I had on my bp page here...just so i can get to the point: My pride is strong but not too strong to admit that in the 25 yrs I've been dating boys/men not one has ever loved me the right way. Not even close. I've thought maybe it not in God's plan for me to be loved. Sad thought, but it could be true. I can't handle another man telling me he cares about me, pretending, making up lies...being a wolf in sheep's clothing, a snake...for what? to use me for whatever he wants I guess? I dont think the disappointment and frustration I feel is healthy. I think depression will set in too deep...So I have a predicament. No I can't just have faith and trust a man, not if it gonna kill my soul or me in the process. I'd like to have a friend. Or some how some way a man who actually can be my friend, sex partner and truly love me ALL in one man. but again, not sure my life can take that leap of faith again, not sure i can handle the fall if or when it happens once again. so... .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ........ .....A new friend I met on BP told me one night when I was depressed and praying about the horrid people who have wronged me, praying that they would pne day feel some remorse, he told me to go read Psalm 35 again, and i had to admit I'd never read it. I was not raised in the church. I rarely have admitted this. I went to read it. And i put this in a blog on here. It was amazing!! It was like all I'd been praying and more! Before reading it I had wanted to pray 4 exactly all of this; 4 all of my enemies to fall in their own pit! but thought that it would be a sin to go that far LOL so just prayed for them to feel some remorse directly related to what they've done to me, for the lies and rumors told about me. how "in my adversity the rejoiced" yes! oh yes! this is what they did. and I surely never did anything but be too nice. I was an easy target I guess. Well I think God was tryin to send me a message....to get me away from that crazy life, to bring me to a better path, to the right road...and I was not listening, being the hard headed woman that I am, so...God had to knock me up side my head a bit hard LOL. cause shyt escalated snow-balled so fast it was just strange. sighhh........................ .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ...................My favorite part of Psalm 35 is about the Pit!!! love it love it: "For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul. Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall." Ahhh yes, THEY SHALL FALL. and I read this every day. It helps me feel safe.I am not being paranoid either lol I had some real threats from some real puzzy %#&@$! boys coming my way, yah you can see a older white blond woman is sooooo scary LMAO. whatever. .............................. .............................. ... .............................. .............................. ............................I' m going to be alone unless a man comes along who won't run like a scared puzzy when I cry. that is my main criteria right now. also honesty is top priority to me. I am taking care of me, need a man to do more than take care of my body once n a while, when HE is ready for it. I need more than sex for once in my life. I am tired of feelin like trash. Tired of the abusive men who try to lecture me about life! how dare they! tired of the same men who brag and boast about how great they are. am just exhausted by the drama and lies, the same liars who insist I am the liar. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ....... ............ I have a son who is 15 and 6'1 250 pnds whrs sz14 men's shoe and built like a linebacker, hes got some special needs/a form of autism. it breaks my heart every day. his first 11 yrs i didnt date/have sex at all...for me ages 24 to 35 1/2. sometimes I think i will go that route again...it just too much for me sometimes. I dont talk about my son much cause most people dont care, dont understand or it makes me too sad. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ..................This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!-2 Corinthians 5:17

============================== ============================== ============================== ============================== ===============

Rate My Photo

What's your inner spirit?

Phoenix You are free, loyal, and caring. You wish to help all those in need and heal all wounds of those you care about, no matter what the cost.

How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic