MongoSlade410 |
|
|
PRESENTING EAST BALTIMORE'S FAVORITE SON....THE PRIDE OF CENTRAL
AVENUE AND EAGER STREET... THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES
ONLY...I REALLY AM A NICE GUY WHO JUST LIKES TO PUT SMILES ON
PEOPLES FACES BUT TELLS THE TRUTH AS WELL
 THIS IS THE STUFF THAT BUGS ME (again it`s just comedyyyyy dammit!): 1. IF SOMEONE PUTS ON THEIR PAGE "I AINT TRYING TO MEET ANYONE OR HAVE NEW SEX PARTNERS" ...THEN WHY IN THE HELL MUST EVERYONE WHO LEAVES YOU A NOTE HAVE TO HAVE A PICTURE? STOP LYING TO US AND YOURSELF..DUMB AZZ > 2. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH ALL THESE CHICKS WITH MULTIPLE CHILDREN AND NO HUBBY...HERE`S A THOUGHT...EITHER SWALLOW OR USE CONDOMS... 3. THIS IS FOR THE FELLAS...IF YOU ARE 30+ AND STILL HAVE CORNROWS OR BRAIDS....SMACK YOURSELF TO SLEEP FOOL !!!! STOP TRYING TO HOLD ON TO YOUNGER DAYS PIMPIN'....GET A SUIT....GET A CUT...AND SHAPE IT UP....YOU ARE NOT IN THE NBA or NFL....THE ONLY WAY SUITS AND CORNROWS GO TOGETHER ARE IF YOU JUST SIGNED A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT TO PLAY BALL... 4. LADIES, HOW YOU GONNA BE DAMN NEAR NAKED ON YOUR PAGE THEN GET UPSET WHEN BROTHERS COME AT YOU WRONG OR DISRESPECTS YOU...RESPECT YOURSELVES FIRST AND PUT SOME DAMNED CLOTHES ON...FUKKIN CHICKENS! 5. WHY IS EVERY CHICK ON HERE BI OR A FEMME ORA STUD OR WHATEVER THE F*CK THEY CALL THEMSELVES NOWADAYS...ARE THERE ANY REGULAR CHICKS NOWADAYS? 6. FELLAS, WHY DO YOU PUT A PICTURE OF YOUR MEAT PIECE! ON YOUR PAGE? WTF IS UP WITH THAT SH*T? THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN OPENING A PAGE AND YOU SEE SOME DUDES SCHLONG...YUCK! 7. IF YOUR SCREEN NAME IS "LUVTOBEEATEN" OR "LICKMESLOW" OR "FUKKMEFROMTHEBACKWITHASTRAPON " OR ANYTHING REMOTELY STUPID LIKE THAT...PLEASE DO NOT PUT A BIBLE VERSE ON YOUR PAGE...A BIT CONTRADICTORY DON`T YA THINK? ...FURTHERMORE, IF YOUR NAME IS "MS GOOD HEAD" DONT BE MAD IF I ASK YOU FOR A $5 BLOW JOB...OOOO WEEE ...LOL 8. DON`T CLAIM TO BE A COLLEGE GRAD AND YOUR SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT IS FUGGED UP ON YOUR PAGE. 9. LADIES, IF YOUR A SIZE 20 ANYTHING...PLEASE DO NOT SHOW YOUR BREASTS.. I MEAN I LOVE ALL WOMEN, SHAPES AND SIZES ALIKE BUT SHEESH...YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT AN EXTRA SET OF KNEECAPS! I'M JUST PLAYIN...LOL...I LOVE BIG BOOBIES...BUT YOU GOTTA HAVE THE AZZ TOO MATCH....PLEASE DON'T BE SHAPED LIKE A YIELD SIGN 10. LADIES, WHILE I RESPECT YOU AS SINGLE MOTHERS, STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LITTLE SON THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. NO WOMAN CAN RAISE A BOY TO BE A MAN ((WITHOUT A STRONG, CONSISTENT MALE FIGURE IN HIS LIFE TO COMPLIMENT YOU AS HIS MOTHER))....DON'T BELIEVE ME? CHECK OUT OUR PRISON POPULATION. I KNOW I'LL GET A LOT OF HEAT FOR THIS...BUT I'M A CYNICAL REALIST 11. LADIES, IF YOU GOT THIN LIPS...WHY HAVE PICTURE WITH YOU HAVING SHINY LIPS...THAT`S LIKE A WOMAN WITH LESS THAN AN A CUP WEARIN A PUSH UP BRA. 12. UMMM, TRACKS, WEAVES, EXTENSIONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM MY PILLOW...FAKE EYES, NAILS, HAIR, EYE LASHES....AND THEN U HAVE THE NERVE TO WANT A MAN TO KEEP IT REAL WITH YOU...KEEP IT REAL WITH YOURSELF BALDYLOCKS !!! AND WHAT DOES EVERY WOMAN WITH FAKE HAIR SAY "MY HAIR IS LONG UNDERNEATH"....THEN WHY NOT WEAR IT OUT MORON ?!?!?!! VERY SEXY GIRLS GET A PASS ON THIS ONE THOUGH...LOL... 13. WTF IS UP WITH THESE LOW-EXPECTATION HAVING HOES TALKIN` ABOUT "I NEED A THUG IN MY LIFE"..DON`T YOU WANT SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT FOR YOURSELF. YOU DONT WANT A GOOD BROTHER..BUT YOU WANT A EX-CON, GOT 4 BABIES BY 5 DIFFERENT WOMEN, CAN`T HOLD A JOB, MOUTH FULLA GOLD TEETH BUT BROKE AS HELL TYPE NIGGA....BUT HE CAN LAY PIPE...YOU LOW SELF-ESTEEM GUTTERBUCKET AZZ TRICK..SORRY! 14. HAVE U EVER SEEN A GROWN AZZ MAN WITH A TONGUE RING?? HOW GAY IS THAT?? LOOK DOG, IF YOU NEED A METAL INSTRUMENT TO MASTER THE ART OF CONNALINGUS(*SP), THEN YOU REALLY DIDN`T KNOW HOW TO MUNCH IN THE FIRST PLACE..COME OUTTA DA CLOSET FUN BOY!! 15. OK...FELLAS, IS IT ME OR ARE BOY SHORTS DA SHIZNIT!! IF YOU DON`T KNOW WHAT BOY SHORTS ARE...ASK YOUR GIRL TO ROCK A PAIR...EVEN THE SMALLEST BOOTY LOOKS GOOD IN SOMETIGHT BOY SHORTS. I`M SUCH A PERV...I KNOW 16. SISTERS...IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A GUT (AND I LOVE THICK/CHUNKY WOMEN) PLEASE UNDERSTAND.....LOW RISE JEANS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND !!! THE AZZ LOOKS SMALL AND THE GUT IS SPILLING OVER...YOUR MID SECTION LOOKS LIKE A MUFFIN TOP ! 17.LADIES..YOU KNOW I GOT LOVE FOR YOU..BUT COME ON WITH THE BATHROOM BODY SHOT PICS...I LOVE A GREAT BODY LIKE THE NEXT MAN, BUT DONT BE IN YOUR DRAWS, NEXT TO THE TOILET, LOOKIN ALL PHAT.....THAT WILL WARRANT SOME UNWANTED AND DISRESPECTFUL NOTES FROM UNDER-SEXED AND RUDE MEN. ALL WE NEED TO SEE IS TITS AND HIPS AND WE GO APE SHYT !!! 18. LADIES, TATOOS ON YOUR ARM? HOW TACKY IS THAT? CHICKS WALKING AROUND HERE LOOKING LIKE SAILORS! HOW MANNISH!! HAVE U EVER BEEN TO A WEDDING WERE THE BRIDE OR BRIDES MAIDS HAVE OFF-THE-SHOULDER DRESSES AND SEEN A BIG AZZ TATOO ON THEIR ARM? THAT IS SO UNLADY-LIKE. IMMA GET SMACKED FOR THIS, BUT THE CHINESE LETTERS? COME ON...U CAN`T EVEN READ ENGLISH, I KNOW HALF YALL BROADS DON`T KNOW WHAT THAT SYMBOL ON YOUR ARMS MEANS. 19. OK, BACK TO THE PIERCINGS. LADIES, PUTTING METAL ON YOUR CLIT, NIPPLES, UNDER THE LIP OR WHEREEVER IS JUST SO, SO ....UGH!!! WHY DO WE DO EVERYTHING WE SEE PINK PEOPLE (WHITES) DO? THEY STARTED THE EYEBROW PIERCING..NIGGAZ FOLLOWED SUIT..IN THE TONGUE...NIGGAZ FELL IN LINE. I MEAN DAMN, STOP BEING SHEEP FOR ONCE. THE SHYT LOOKS NASTY. WELL, KEEP THE TONGUE RINGS...THEY DO FEEL GOOD..LOL 20. MOTHERS, PLEASE STOP NAMING YOUR KIDS THESE WHITE BREAD, SUBURBAN AND BOURGOISE NAMES (JORDAN, JALEN, MACKENZIE, KENNEDY, TAYLOR)...WHEN DID WE BECOME ASHAMED OF BEING KEISHA, LATANYA OR KWAME? STOP TRYING TO ASSIMILATE SO HARD. AND IF YOUR RATIONALE IS "I WANT MY KID TO GET A JOB"...HOW ABOUT TEACHING HIM/HER TO OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND NOT BE A CORPORATE SLAVE LIKE YOU. 21. OK, LADIES...WHY DO YALL HAVE PICS OF YOUR PAGE OF MUSCLE BOUND DUDES...KNOWING THAT YOUR MAN IN REAL LIFE PROLLY LOOKS LIKE SAM CASSELL. IS THAT PICTURE OF LL, BORIS, MORRIS A GOAL?? CUZ IT AINT REALITY...DATS FOR DAMNED SURE... 22. OK, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PAGE WITH THE SCREEN NAME LIKE "OHSHESOPHAT" OR "FINEAZZCHICK" AND YOU CLICK ON IT...AND LO AND BEHOLD, NO PICS!!! JUST A BUNCH OF LIL CARTOONS...GET A SCANNER CHEAP AZZ AND STOP FOOLING US.. 23. CALL ME HOMOPHOBIC, BUT AREN`T THESE LESBIANS SOME CONFUSED PEOPLE? HOW ARE YOU AS A WOMAN GONNA LIKE ANOTHER WOMAN...THAT DRESSES LIKE A FUKKIN MAN ??? THAT WALKS, TALKS, DRESSES AND EVEN HAS A DITTY BOP LIKE A MAN ? DO NOT COLLECT $200 AS YOU PASS "GO" JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THERAPY!! AM I THE ONLY ONE ON EARTH WHO SEES THIS? DOMS, FEMMES, WHAT DA HELL EVER... 24. LADIES!!! PLEASE REMEMBER......PICKY AND LONELY ARE COUSINS....THINK ABOUT IT! 25. LADIES, IF YOU HAVE FAKE HAIR, SUCH AS A PONY TAIL, MAKE SURE THE TAIL MATCHES THE COLOR YOUR HAIR...THERE`S NOTHING WORSE THAN SEEING A WOMAN WITH NAPPY GELLED DOWN DARK BROWN HAIR AND THE PONY TAIL IS LONG SILKY AND JET BLACK...TACKHEAD!!! 26. GENTLEMAN, PLEASE BE JUST THAT.....A GENTELMAN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT MAKES YOUR WOMAN FEEL WHEN YOU OPEN HER CAR DOOR, PULL OUT HER CHAIR AT DINNER, OFFER HER YOUR COAT WHEN IT'S COLD....ON THE FLIP, LADIES, IF A MAN OPEN A DOOR FOR YOU, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SAY "THANK YOU"....YA RUDE WENCH! 27. LADIES, JUST BECAUSE I'M CHUBBY DOESNT MEAN I HAVE A LITTLE WEE WEE...ASK ABOUT ME...LOL...OK, THAT WAS CRASS....BUT DON'T JUDGE A D**K BY IT'S COVER..LOLOLOL... 28. NOW GENTLEMAN, IF YOU HAVE "THUG" ANYWHERE REMOTELY ATTACHED TO YOUR SCREEN NAME...YOU ARE A FRAUD!!! DOG, THUGS DON`T USE THE COMPUTER!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU POSE WITH A DOO RAG AND TIMBS ON YOUR PIC, DOESN`T MEAN YOUR A THUG...THE REAL THUGS ARE DEAD, IN JAIL OR SERVIN` FIENDS ON THE CORNERS. CLOWN AZZ NIGGAZ. 29. WOMEN..NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A PIC OF YOUR CORNY HUSBAND NOR YOUR FUNNY LOOKIN` KID(S)...I KNOW, I CAN BE SUCH AN AZZHOLE AT TIMES. 30. LASTLY, IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE (GENDER, SEXUAL PREFERENCES, SIZE, ETC.) OR MADE ANYONE UPSET, MAD OR ANGRY..PLEASE UNDERSTAND.....THAT I MEANT EVERY GOD DAMNED WORD OF IT!!!!!!! OUR ANCESTORS AND FOREFATHERS DIED FOR THIS RIGHT...LET`S NOT SPIT IN THEIR FACES BY TAKING IT FOR GRANTED! DON`T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT AND ITS POLICIES IF YOU DON`T VOTE! YOU CAN INSTANT MESSAGE ME : AOL IM : wil1994 YAHOO: DEUCE_ONELOVE (which I`m on during business hours) |
