Don't take this to heart Ladies it is just a joke. Grow a sense of
humor PLEASE
"A REAL MAN DOESN`T SLEEP WITH A MILLION WOMEN. A REAL MAN SLEEPS
WITH ONE WOMAN IN A MILLION WAYS."
THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as
the
"Agreement") is entered into as of the _____ day of __________,
2007,
by and between ____________ and ____________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT
IT IN THE MORNING.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the
events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9pm - (we don`t have shyt to talk about)
4. None of that "lovemaking" shyt (strictly mind-blowing-sex
allowed.)
5. No emotional discussions...(ex. Where are we heading with this?
Do you love me? Hell naw- so don`t ask stupid shyt.)
6. No plans made in advance ... that`s why you are called the
"backup", unless you are from out of town-then its only a one time
advance arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - (money and diamonds are always good)
8. No baby talk (dirty talk, however, is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (its none of your
damn business)
10. No kissing (too intimate- except to other body parts- no mouth
kissing-yuck)
11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not
friends just sex buddies)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don`t be
offended
13. No extra clothing (I don`t want your a** leaving anything
behind when you leave.)
14. No falling asleep right after sex-get your a** up and go home
it`s over - damn.
15. Don`t be offended if I don`t ask if you enjoyed it (I don`t
care).
16. You can not borrow my car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My
roommate`s girlfriend"
18. Doggie style preferred (just let me hit it hard and right or
get the hell out)
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. ( I
don`t want to look at your a** just want to f**k you)
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes - ME. (so don`t
keep calling, dammit)
21. Bring your own drink-I am not your liquor store.
22. No phone use please-don`t want anyone calling back looking for
your a**.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules
may
only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other
party
attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, this
Agreement will automatically become null and void. You will then be
removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from the phone memory
and email list. BLOCKED from all communications until your silly
a** understand the rules.
