MY NAME IS SIE'DAH. I AM 5'9, 190 lbs and proud!!!{{IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM W/MY WEIGHT, YOU CAN JUST BOUNCE}}CHOCOLATE COMPLECTION...I LOVE WRITING POETRY, SHORT STORIES, READING, DANCING AND SINGING (On key sometimes lol!!!)...I am only looking for friends and networking. I'm trying to pursue a career in modeling and possibly acting in the future...Don't be afraid to leave comments on my pix...BE HONEST!!!!...If you would like to know anything else about me hit me up in a note on here...Please do not get upset if I do not reply to your notes or comments. You can also hit me up: www.myspace.com/blaquebeautie4u HIT ME UP.
p.s.
Please do not stalk me it's so unattractive. A major turn off! And do not ask to me to MEET YOU IN PERSON....THE ANSWER IN NOOOOOOOOOO.....
xoxo muah!
Thanks,
MzSnickerz a.k.a Tinkerbutt
A Poem By Me:
Waiting
My EYES never lie
So when you caught my EYE
I just KNEW
You were the one
You came off as this
REASONABLE
GENTLE
KIND
BEAUTIFUL person
LUSCIOUS lips
SWEET
Deep BROWN eyes
When you SMILED
Your DIMPLES GLOWED
I wanted you
I KNEW I would get a CHANCE
Just had to
You made me LAUGH
Brought a SMILE upon my face
WITHOUT even being PRESENT
But it wasn't LOVE that I was feeling for you
It was just HAPPINESS and JOY
OUR first HUG
Was nor ABRUPT
Or ABROAD
It was PRECISE
ACCURATE
I was CERTAIN
So sure
That I became BLINDED
SHUTTERED away from the OBVIOUS
The TRUTH
The TRUTH being
The FEELINGS were never MUTUAL
At least not on your part
STUCK
Was the only feeling running through me
The situation in my eyes
Was
INANE
I wanted to be with you
Wanted to get to know you more
But you CUT that chance off
So quickly
So here I am
Once again
SADDENED
DISHEARTEN
And SINGLE
SUPRISINGLY
No longer HATING you
Even though
I have all right to be
For your MISLEADING
DISHONEST
BULL%#&@$!
That you PORTRAYED
FINALLY putting it out there
But
No matter how HARD I TRY
I can't FORGET you
WONT get over you
Still WANTING you
LONGING for that MARK you left on me
With your KISS
But I'm letting that be up to you
Letting you know that
I'm still HERE
LONGING for you PRESENCE
WAITING for you
To BRING that SMILE back on my face
I want you to
Show me that NOT all MEN are the same
Give me HOPE
That there is SOMEONE out there for EVERYONE
And that YOU are that
SOMEONE
For ME
True Love
Love has it's way
To manipulate
Confused
Young ones
They think love is
Giving money
Being called shorty
Or boo
Not realizing that it is an emotion
That starts from deep
Within
Young females being lured in
Tricked by the money
Their significant other throws at them
Blinded
By that 24 carat ring weighing down their finger
Allowing him to strike them
Because he only does it
Because he cares
Young men stuck on the fact
That she is his ride to die chick
Shielded away from reality
That she is only there for the money
Buying him
This and that
With no job
When he went away to do time
She was still with HIM
Ignoring the rumors about HER
Being with HIM
When the word love is used
Expressed
Uttered
It throws out mixed signs
Gets a person worked-up
Sending butterflies through their stomachs
Leading them to doomsday itself
Manipulative
In many ways
Unexplainable
The Reality Of Being Human
The reality of being human
Is that in one point in time
Everyone sheds a tear
Or two
Whether it is for the loss of a loved one
Or out of rage
We all cry
Some try to hide their tears in
Songs
Paintings
Poetry
Like I am doing now
Writing these words
Is my own therapy
I am trying to forget what we had
How happy we used to be
Forget
Everything
Especially the thriving prosperous moments
That we shared
It is obvious that I miss you
And that
I can't deny
I have even tried to discredit the important fact that
I love you
Pretending that this yearning
Is nothing more than a
Lukewarm
Cold
Hallucination
Putting a halt against my own
Obligation
I refrained myself from you
Departure is too harsh to say
So I leave it as my escape
My way out of the hurting
The silent tears in the middle of the night
And instead of holding on to you for comfort
I only had my pillow
Essentially I needed you
Demanded that you be there
I reached out for you
But you pushed away
You pushed away
And I pulled
And you pushed
And I pulled harder
I was tired
So tired
That by the time you went to push again
I had already let go
Even though it was a
Potent
Robust
Difficult thing to do
I did it
Realizing that I needed to
Respire
Taking into consideration
That you needed time to
Trangress
Hoping that in this amount of time
I would forget
Praying that this would be my time of
Reconstruction
But in reality
I am nothing more than an emotional wreck
Is Love Enough
Is love enough
To allow her to sunder up
All of your dreams
Telling you
You are no good Little Boy
Who will never succeed
Is it enough
To stay with him
Knowing that he cheats on you
Over and over again
Knocked up
Not only Keisha and Michelle
But that girl you call your friend
Is love enough
To tolerate her
Spending all of your money
On materialistic %#&@$!
To satisfy her needs
On that %#&@$! she really don't need
But when you ask her for a small favor
She rolls her eyes and sucks her teeth
Is it enough
To confine in him
When he brutally strikes you
Leaving bruises
Dark shades of purple black and blue
The has the nerve
To utter those three words to you
That I ask of you
"I love you"
Is it enough
Deranged
Hate
Anger
Rage
Violence
Those words
Are the common words
Of a deranged woman
Myself
I often wonder it came from
How it started
Confused
Sometimes frustrated
Because I can't control it
Constant blackouts
From the rising flame burning inside of me
Tears flowing from my eyes
The first step of violence
Exasperation
Infuriation
Indignation
Incessantly
Continually Contemplating
Trying to think
Before I act
But then it's too late
So I act
Don't think
Blackness fills my eyes
As I attack my victim
I don't hear anything
Nor can I see
I feel no pain
Even when I bleed
My mind telling me to stop
But my fist
Lost in their own duration
They continue pounding
No more time for contemplating
Hate
I try to stop
But this emotion gets the best of me
Anger
Rises
Transforming into rage
Deep down knowing I should stop
Yet I continue to engage
Engage in this act of violence
That doesn't seem to cease
I wish it would stop
Refrain
Suspend
But it won't come to an end
What was left...Beforeher death (THIS TITLE IS A LITTLE BIT COMPLICATED)
Is Love Enough- 8:15 pm
Is love enough
To allow your heart to ache
Is it enough
To forgive your enemy
ENOUGH
To control the outmost temptations
Tired-8:31pm
Tired and down
Through with friendship and love
Tired of hurting
Tired of crying
Every night
Heartbroken
Over and over again
Someone kill me now
For I am already dead
Loaded-8:48 pm
It's loaded
And it has my name on it
My one ticket out of this
Suffering and pain
Blood
Sweat
Tears
Yet no hesitation
As I pull the trigger
Truth be Told
Blunt %#&@$!
That is how I categorize myself
Speak my mind no matter what
Not afraid of the outcome
The words sometimes get me into trouble
But I don't give a %#&@$!
I am always willing to take that chance
Manipulative in goods and bads
But that's how I am
I will laugh in your face
Look at you like
You are no more important
Than the dirt on the BOTTOM of my shoe
I smile at my enemies
Because the truth being that I am there enemy
They fear me because my tongue never lies
My attitude is always positive
But they fell to see
Never think before you speak
Because the truth will never be true
BLUNT
And I love it
Not afraid
No insecurities
%#&@$!
Well not really
Just a true %#&@$!
Making people eat there own words
Choke and die
Drowning in lack of self-confidence
Their insecurities get the best of them
Stopping them from succeeding
They hide behind
Not their own shadows
But others
They are afraid to look back on their past
Because they are cowards
The "once-were %#&@$!s" claim innocence
Forgetting the STD eating away their pussies
As for the "used-to-be-gangtas"
Claiming the word gentlemen
Forgetting the number of %#&@$!s they infected
Knocked up
Left to fend for themselves
The silent will let you smile in their face
Letting you take advantage of them
%#&@$! that
Not I
I will slap you with hurtful words
Punch you with reality
Then kick your %#&@$! with sarcastic
Kindness
Myself
Me
I
Is who I am
An over-confident
Blunt
%#&@$!
%#&@$!
Realist
Pride/Ignorance
Easier to speak the unspoken
To pretend everything is so %#&@$!ing perfect
I'm living in a fantasy world once again
Brushing off the damn pain
Right in front of them
But behind that brick wall
I crack
More tears fall
A flooded river
My eyes burn as I write
Attacking the paper with the anger that
I feel
I'm stuck
Loss of words
My heart is trying to channel my focus on something else
But instead of listening to the wise one
I follow my own mind
Ignoring the obvious
I am completely oblivious
Rage is beginning to settle
I can't take no more
Staring blankly at the half empty bottle
Eyes darting back and forth
From the paper
To my exit
"The only way" OUT
I down the last of them FEARLESSLY
For the first time in my damn
ETERNITY
I am sure
SCARED of the outcome
But positive of my own motive
My body begins to feel weak
Everything is now 3D
I can feel my heart beat in my hands
I rise with PRIDE
But fall with IGNORANCE
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*******. . . . . . . . .**
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