I am a man quite unlike the typical wannabe poets, pimps and players you'll meet on BP, as the following paragraphs will easily show. I've recently started a blog at Diary of a Mad Black Man which will become the main repository for my thoughts about various topics of interest. Single-digit IQ's and the remedial need not click the link. I hope that in reading this, you get a glimpse of my way of thinking, my style, and also my passion to do better and be a better man. That having been said, we have a strong black family in the White House in the Obamas, so all the excuses are over! So the following paragraphs and blogs is my way of turning on the lights and watching the cockroaches on BP scatter. I am the BP version of industrial strength Raid!
I have made my fair share of mistakes, Lord knows, the main difference is that I have learned from these mistakes, and want to represent that black man that we all should want to be, which is why I am so passionate.
Barack and Michelle are the family most of us should strive to be. A black MAN (not male) that is MARRIED and faithful, and has kids only by his WIFE (not babymamma). And heaven forbid, he actually wears his pants around his WAIST, and not his a$$ looking like fag, unlike some of you out here pretending that sh*t makes you look hard. He can wear a suit, and his best shoes are NOT $200 sneakers (you need your a$$es whipped for that!!) Now for you WOMEN (not females), notice that Michelle wears clothes that actually cover all her business and still looks beautiful, respectful and intelligent, not like she's dancing for dollar bills. I bet there are no pics of Michelle, A) wearing clear heels, B) Squatting, or C) wearing sh*t that has her lovehandles, tattoos, and jiggly thighs hanging out of size 8 clothes and she's a 14!
**** I FEEL THE NEED TO PREFACE MY NEXT STATEMENT BY SAYING I ONLY DATE WOMEN WHOSE DRESS SIZES ARE IN DOUBLE DIGITS. I`M JUST READY FOR SOME TRUTH IN ADVERTISING!!!****
And a final word on women misusing the phrase, "thick."
If you can`t see your feet for your gut, you are not THICK, you`re FAT!!
If The Army Corps of engineers have to be flown in equipped with piano wire, 25 yards of duct tape, a pair of pliers and a blowtorch just to make a girdle strong enough to hold all of that extra sh*t together, you are not thick, YOU`RE FAT!!!
If you have your own zip code, you are not thick, YOU`RE FAT!!!
If your clothes are made from drop cloths knitted together w/ cable from a suspension bridge, you are not thick, YOU`RE FAT!!
Just be honest, .ie. "Hey, I`m fat, single and looking. If you like a woman that can cook, I`m your woman...etc." As I said before I like big women, but if you`re chin(s) keep getting caught up in your cleavage, it`s time to reassess "thick."
Update: To all of you silly so-called grown women that need a "soldier." HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?? Obviously, most of you rode the short bus to school, b/c in case you haven`t noticed, the "men" you call soldiers are THUGS!!! Thugs sell drugs, beat women, drink liquor, smoke weed and in general end up as worthless trash. You want a "soldier" then act surprised when he stomps a mudhole in your a_$$ and walks it dry. Newsflash!! You can be street smart and still rock the Italian wool 3-button single breasted!!! Real soldiers are in Iraq ducking gunfire and landmines with sand in the crack of their a_$$es, not on the corner selling drugs to our children wearing fake bling. Real businessmen wear suits and ties, not camouflage and wifebeaters and 200 k worth of gold in their mouths. Next time you see a billionaire w/ a gold grill let me know!!! Otherwise, get a life and raise your standards! **SING THIS TO THE TUNE OF "IRREPLACEABLE!!**
Beyonce, "To the left, to the left, kiss my high yella azz a$$ to the left.."
Update 1/24/2007: I am sick and TIRED of these spamming a_ss losers sending me dumb notes "Hey, you're hot, etc..blah blah. Come hit me up at www.isuckand swallow.com and say hi." I assure you, I AM NOT A FOOL!! I just play one on TV. If you really wanna chat, wtf do you think BP is for??? And NOTES FROM GHANA, OR ANY LOCALE THAT REMOTELY RESEMBLES GHANA, SMELLS LIKE GHANA, OR LOOKS LIKE GHANA IS GOING TO BE DELETED INSTANTLY IF NOT SOONER!!! You'd have better luck tryin to recruit for the KKK on here. KICK GRAVEL AND TRAVEL!!!
UPDATE 6/22/07: Ok, why do we have to have so-called "grown and sexy" women taking pics either squattin down or bent over in their 3-sizes-too-short dress, tryin to be "hot." Newsflash: No self-respecting 30- or 40-yr old woman would dream of doing that. Get over the midlife crisis and move on! All I ask is a pic of your face and figure, I do appreciate shapely BBWs. But I don't need you bent so far over I could perform your gynecological exam at a distance..eww. And squattin down is NOT sexy, you look like you need to pee. (ewww again)!! That stopped being attractive as soon as the ink dried on your high school diploma (or your nail school certificate, or even WIC card if books were too f**kin hard for you to grasp). Whew! And with that, I look forward to hearing from you. Be blessed.
So Lil Wayne goes to jail. Let me be the first to say I feel the national IQ average going up at least a tenth of a point already. Can we FINALLY acknowledge that having your pants sag like you're someone's prison %#&@$!, tats like a bathroom wall, a head full of sh*tlocks and a mouth full of metal that looks like the tinman busted a nut all over your teeth is just plain F**KING SAD?!!
Whenever I hop online and view someone's page, I am more than willing to give a woman the benefit of the doubt, that this page I'm viewing is a decent, sexy yet classy woman. However, lately some of you need Jesus and to take a holy water IV drip. I am sick of some of these stanking profiles like "I love my kids, nothing comes before them, etc." Yeah, nothing but the 53 hoe shots all over your page. I'm sure that your kids would just love to know that out in cyberspace, next to... (continue reading)
In recent posts, I have spent so much time ranting about the ghettoness of BP. Recently, some readers have stated that although I am so quick to blast those that belittle us as a people and lower our overall IQ, I am very slow to uplift or offer ways OUT of that mindset. And you know what?? YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! So here I offer my kudos to those of you that fight the good fight, and represent BLACK people in a world desperate to have us think of ourselves as N!GGERS.
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