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*Educated (the finest and richest HBCU) *Talented (performing artist) *Aestetically Pleasing (translation.... pretty ricky) *God-fearing *Comical (and I dont mean funny lookin`) *Atheletic *Unclockable *High profile, low maintainance *Emontionally and financially stable *in short..... a Quality Total Package Brotha Children are a blessing......... until the reach middle school age. Just the mere fact that I have for yet another year of teaching heathens, managed to avoid catching a charge, is testimony to wonderful and miraculous things God is working in my life. With that being said, the word for the next 170 something days of instruction.....PEACE. To my other half,........ oh wait, I dont have one anymore!!: PRICELESS. :+) One Love............oh yeah much love to my "Home By the Sea", that`s Hampton University (especially since they are entrusted with 2 very special pieces of my heart continuing the family legacy)also known as the"Home of the Beautiful People" for all the HATERS from the PULBLICLY FUNDED hu.....you know, the one with scenic view of Georgia Avenue and the resevoir ....and make sure you sign the guestbook on your way out. It`s just good manners, so work that out! Here are 20 Pearls of wisdom I`ve discovered in my thirty some years. (some are spiritual, comedy, and me just being me) 1. You learn more with your mouth closed, your ears open, and your brain on. 2. Religion is not as important as your faith and belief in God. Faith and the belief that you can will take you much farther than your physical and mental limitations, but faith without works is dead. 3. Stand for what is right and what youbelieve in evenif you have to stand alone. But if you have God in your life, you`re never alone. 4. When in love, follow you heart. When looking for arestroom, follow your d*ck (sorry ladies). In both cases, you are sure to find the correct destination. 5. Unchecked stupidity has no limits or boundaries. (watch G.W. Bush) 6. If you follow a stupid child home, you are destined to find at least one stupid parent. 7. That person you think is "so fine and would never talk to me" is probably thinking the exact same thing about you (unless you`re really not cute). So one of you better make a move quickly, cause DC has lots of hoes and haters. 8. Traffic in front of you always moves slower when you`re late, in a hurry, or have to urinate. 9. Telling the truth is neither pretty or popular. Tell it anyway! (plus it`s easier to remember) 10. That being said, be careful cause church folk will LIE about how well you sing. "Oh baby, you sound so good", knowing full well that you sound like a mad cat with strep throat being strangled in an alley. Ask a family member or close friend. 11. Life is never as serious as we try to make it. 12. The first things people look at are you head, hands, and feet. So make sure your hair is DONE (whatever style it`s in), your hands are clean (and ash free), and you wear nice shoes. (thanks pop-pop) 13. No matter what you do, be it good, bad or indifferent, people will talk about you..... especially if what you`re doing is right and affects positive results. 14. There are three versions of your life: what you see, what others see, and what you want others to see. Try to reconcile them into what really is. 15. I can`t be the only person who thinks that construction in the middle of a street/highway/thoroughfare during rush hour is the most assinine thing ever created by man. 16. Lack of preparationon YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part. 17. The vibe you give out will be the vibe you get back. If thou givest funk and shade, thou shall recieveth the same. 18. Anything or anyone that does not uplift you will ultimately bring you down. So purge and purify. 19. Don`t be mad if you get cut up for coming out of the house just damn wrong (i.e. - clothing size infraction, bad hair, pattern/color/fabric violations... etc) First, you must not have any friends or they don`t love you enough to help you out. Second, you knew you looked a mess before you stepped out the door. So stop trippin`!!!! 20. Be proactive instead of reactive. People can only control the parts of your life that you allow them to. ***since there are only 20 PEARLS (if you don`t know.....), here are some leaves from the vine... 1. Whoever said that "life is fair", lied like HELL. Get used to it and get over it. 2. Clearly, the same person perpetuated the bullsh*t about there being no stupid questions and was obviously not a teacher. 3. Always speak to/acknowlege queens on the street..... the gurl will read you if you don`t .... and you don`t want that. 4. The difference between being stuck on stupid or dipped in dumb is like the difference between being Sammy Sausagehead, Danny Dumbass, or Jimmy Jackass. 5. If you thought it, you might as well go on and say it. 6. Always take time for you, because no one else in this life will care for you like you do. Be true to yourself because life is too short to be floating down the river...DE-NIAL. 7. Unfortunatly, common sense is not common to everyone. 8. There is no package or program that will ever replace good quality teaching and sincere effort in learning. 9. Handlethe big rocks in your life and the little ones will take care of themselves. 10. Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see. 11. Folks who talk about sexin` the best and most are the ones who do it the worst and the least. (trust, the one that will turn you out doesn`t have to advertise!) 12. Teaching elementary school is the best form of free planned parenthood. (trust me when I say that) 13. Hope for everything but expect absolutely nothing (especially from a man). Then you will never be disappointed. 14. The more you mature in faith, the more people seem to piss you off on a regular basis. 15. Make life simple....say what you mean and mean what you say. 16. I am conviced that there should be mandatory, unisex Norplant (that`s birth control for those who are sitting there like "huh?")given to every person between the ages of 13-21. In order to have it removed, they should have to take at least 12 credit hours of parenting classes and pass an exam that`s harder than a horny teenage boy on prom night. 17. Students (grades 2 to 12) who prove on a regular basis that they are birth control poster children should probably be on top of the list for state sponsored sterilization, lest they procreate and continue the madness. 18. People who evaluate your job performance should be qualified and knowlegable in your particular dicipline. (that`s not always true in education) 19. In the event you have to have someonetell a lie for you, make sure they are damn good atit! 20. You could rain brains on a muthaf*%$#a and he still wouldn`t get wet. (so, so true) 21. Love is absolutely wonderful when it`s finally your turn. (I can testify to that.........finally) 22. Procrastinating is like masturbating.......you`re just f*ckin` yourself. 23. You don`t have to like everyone, but at some point in your life, you should learn to just let others "BE". 24. It is better to hate someone than to love them conditionally. In hating them, you at least find them worthy of a full hearted emotion. 25. Every lesson is not yours to teach. (that`s for all my fellow educators) 26. You don`t have to approve of someone`s differences in order to accept them. Stop HATIN` on folks `cause they`re not like you. 27. **NEWS FLASH FOR THE HETEROSEXUAL BROTHAS** Contrary to popular myth and belief, every straight woman and gay man DOES NOT want you just because you have a %#&@$!........especially if you make Craig Mack seem attractive, cant look down and see your d!ck while standing up straight, cant complete a sentence (speaking or on paper), and have no clue to the definition of steady employment or income. 28. Hatin` a brotha because his sexuality is differnt from yours is like hatin` him because he doesn`t drink the same liquor or blaze the same weed you do........STUPID AS HELL! 29. If you spend enough time in Bally`s to be on the payroll working on a body that you`ll gladly show to the world at any given opportunity, you have got to know (at least I think you should) that ANYONE attracted to men is going to look and/or compliment you. 30. Human sexuality is not a choice. How many black men do you know that would actually CHOOSE an extra helping persecution and social castigation? 31. I am convinced that if individuals are happy and content with their own lives, there is absolutely no time for them to be concerned about what`s goin` on in yours. 32. Someone else`s sexuality should only be of concern to you if you`re going to have sex with them. (that`s one to grow on for my babies @ DFMS) 33. That being said, if you`re spending too much time wondering, you`re most lkely not getting any. 34. Your hang-ups are just that... YOURS!! Be selfish this time and keep them to yourself. 35. Why is it that you don`t realize until middle schoolthat somekids should have been in a tissue, wiped up with a napkin, or left on the sheets? 36. Did you not get the memo on "SHUT UP"? (dat`s for da drew) 37. There are at least 100 students in every middle school that are the poster children for frequent masturbation and protected sex, because you dont want to run the risk of having something like them. 38. Those same students present a wonderful arguement for why the option for abortion should be retroactively available until the child reaches the age of 18. 39. I cant help you if you wont help you. 40. Remember, when I`m giving you my all, I can`t do no more........ If that`s not enough, I can definitely do LESS!!!! 41. Can we get some new struggles? Learn from the trial and error of those around you that love and care for you, so you can elevate and take your struggle to a brand new level. 42. "It`s not you, it`s me" is second only to "Just let me put the head in" as the most bullsh*t statement a man can ever make. 43. When you cut off your nose to spite your face, don`t cry when you realize what you`ve done. 44. For everyone under the age of 30: MAN UP!!! and stop %#&@$!in` over everything like the world owes you something. 45. For all my wanna be grown and sexy folks...... support your damn self and stop looking for a sponsor. 46. Be wise enough to learn from the mistakes of others. the leaves will grow as I wax prophetic..............  Rafael. You`re most like the ArchAngel of Healing. You want people to shape up, and you nag. But you mean well, and you`re well loved despite it. Or because of it. You bring the donuts even as you tell people to eat more veggies. Which Ar |
