Spicy_HotCoco - add/view comments ()

Life is good. I have nothing to complain about :-) I have a beautiful daughter and my health.

I am from BERMUDA but live in Canada now.




Traits I look for in a guy:

open-minded

laid-back

friendly

intelligent

still interested in learning

adventurous

faithful

strong

honest

picks up a book once in a while :-)



Traits i like in myself:

open-minded

laid-back

enough education to get what i want/need

loves to do anything outdoors - anything!

honest

sociable, for the most part...



I`m 5`10`` and love to do sport related activities. Right now I cycle quite a bit. Occasionally I run or walk for exercise. I also LOVE to camp, picnic, bbq, go boating. I like to eat IN - home cookin`.



Men: work out. You can`t go wrong with muscles ;-)



Work like you do not need money, Love like you have never been hurt, And dance like no one is watching!!!



ABOUT ME:
VIRGO

ISLAND girl

I love a good LAUGH



I`ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.



I`ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just %#&@$!s.



I`ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.



I`ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you`d better have a big Willie or big boobs.



I`ve learned that you shouldn t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.



I`ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.



I`ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot ofmoney to take its place.



I`ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.



I`ve learned tosay "F--- `em if they can`t take a joke" in 6 languages.



Why Should I Call it a Night?



1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.



2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt wiggling

while yelling "woo-hoo!" is a sexy, sexy dance move.



3. I`ve suddenly decided I want to kick someone`s %#&@$! and honestly believe

I could do it, too.



4. I drop my 3:00 a.m. sub on the floor (which I`m eating even

though I`m not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.



5. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.



6. There are less than three hours before I`m due to start work.



7. I`ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.



8. The man I`m flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.



9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing

becomes strangely overwhelming.



10. My eyes just don`t seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep

them half closed and think it looks sexy.



11. I`ve suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.



12. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just

lemonade, but that`s just because I can no longer taste the gin.



13. I think I`m in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.



14. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don`ttake this the wrong

way but..."



15. I fail to notice that the toilet lid`s down when I sit on it.



16. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.



17. I`m tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be

standing) and take a quick nap.



18. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button-fly pants to cut down on

the time I`m in the washroom away from my drink.



19. I take my shoes off because I believe it`s their fault that I can`t

walk straight.




WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only
five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with `Nothing` usually end in
"Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don`t do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT`S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to
a man. "That`s Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you`re welcome.


The Abusive Personality



Frequently, the question is asked: "How can I recognize someonewhois abusive?" Here are some tip-offs to an abusive personality.



1. The Need to be in Control



The core issue for an abuser is the need to control. Unfortunately,

this does not mean the desire to control self, but to control someone

else - the target. It is not unusual for an abuser to deny this desire

and in fact, accuse the target of being the one trying to control. The

abuser may try to control many things: thoughts, speech and actions,clothing worn,

employment, access to money and how it is spent, choice of friends,

use of spare time, what is said and to whom it is said, and so on.



2. A Critical Nature



An abuser may be very critical - of the target`s appearance, taste in

clothes, music, friends and family, anything the target is interested

in. Often, though, this criticism is disguised as loving concern. The

abuser will justify the criticism by explaining that it is for the victim`s own good and is done out of love. For example: "You are so

attractive, why don`t you wear your hair long?" Or: "Tight jeans make

you look like a Ho, and you don`t want people to think badly of you."



Often, earlyin a relationship, the criticism will be very slight,

until the abuser feels a commitment to the relationship has been made

on the part of the target. This commitment can be anything from dating steadily, sleeping together, marriage or the conception of a child.



3. A Need to Shut Out the World



Many abusers try to cut the target off from friends and family. The

abuser will point out ways in which family and friends act unlovingly

toward the target, slowly trying to turn the target away from them. The

abuser may contrive to move the target to another cityor state, to

limit contact. Once out of sight, it is much easier to control the

amount of contact the target has with friends and family. These

"outsiders" are often blamed for any problems the couple have.



5. AJealous and Possessive Nature



Usually abusers have a wide streak of jealousy and may question the

target about how time is spent and with whom, whatwas said, and may

probe for details about any friend`s background. Of course, jealousy is explained away with declarations of love. "If I didn`t love you so much, I wouldn`t

care who you saw, or what you did."



Abusers seem to share the idea that what belongs to the target,

belongs to the abuser. An abuser will quickly expect the target to

share anything of value with the abuser and may even push for shared

financial investments or commitments. At the same time, the abuser may be very reluctant to share personal possessions with the target. Everything in a relationship with an abuser is one-way- the abuser`s

way.



6. A Deep Internal Rage



The abuser often carries a volatile rage inside and it will flare up

unexpectedly, in reaction to minor irritations. Many targets of abuse

describe arguments with their abuser about "stupid" things. Ironically,

the abuser uses the very fact that something minor caused a major fight

to indicate that the abuser is really not an angry person.



7. An Unbelievable Charm



Frequently, abusers have charmingand likable personalities. But this

charm is shallow and often a target will be warned by those who know

the abuser, but may disregard these warnings as jealous back-biting.



8. A Cruel Tongue



Many times, an early indication of abuse is the use of verbal language

designed to make the target feel small, ugly, worthless or stupid.

Cutting remarks are used whenever the abuser feels down and out. By

making the target feel lousy, too, the abuser feels better. Even

so-called pet names

are often thinly disguised abuse.



9. A tendency to blame others.



Abusers have a talent for twisting things around so it appears someone

else is to blame for whatever goes wrong. If they get mad - it`s

someone else`s fault. If they hit someone, it`stheir fault. If the

car breaks down, it`s someone else`s fault. Usually, the person an

abuser blames is the victim -- the spouse or lover. Abusers are so good

at this that the victim often comes to believe it is true. Then the victimfeels guilty.



10. Cycles of Fighting and Making-up



Making up with an abuser can seem wonderful. Often the abuser will

make grand gestures and give wonderful gifts - emotional strokes and real objects. Compliments, declarations of eternal love, expensive gifts (sometimes purchased with the target`s money) help sooth the target`s damaged feelings. Unfortunately, these measures are simply a ploy to regain the affections of the target and help cement the relationship.



11. Behavior Which Creates A Sense of Confusion in the Target



Surprisingly, abusers do not seem to realize that the things they do

to hold the target close, pushes the target away. Over time, the target begins to carry a feeling of sadness within, and because of the

abuser`s attacks, feels that somehow the fault lies within, not the

abuser, but the target. Along with the sadness, many targets describe

feeling very confused about the relationship, what should be doneand the causes of the problems.



12. Physical Contact



It should be understood that any physical action such as playful"

slapping, pinching, pushing, shoving, tripping, etc. can be a HUGE warning sign. There is nothing funny about causing discomfort, fear or injury, even in the "name" of fun.Watch out for any person who uses such tactics.