Suugama Hello everyone, I'm back!!!!!!!! - August 29, 2011 add/view comments (0)

ONE - Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO - Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE - Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR - When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE - When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX - Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN - Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT - Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE - Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN - In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN - Don't judge people by their relatives
TWELVE - Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN - When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN - Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN - Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN - When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN - Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN - Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN - When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY - Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE - Spend some time alone.

LITTLE TONY ON MATH


A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The
second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting
off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

GHETTO VOCAB

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1.. Hotel -
I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.
2.. Dictate -
My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3.. Catacomb -
I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4.. Foreclose -
If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5.. Rectum -
I had two Cadillac's, but my bytch rectum both.
6.. Disappointment -
My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7.. Peenis -
I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said peenis.
8.. Israel -
Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say,"Bullshyt, that watch israel."
9.. Undermine -
There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
10.. Acoustic -
When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.
11.. Iraq -
When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.
12.. Stain -
My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"
13.. Fortify -
I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" She say "fortify."
14.. Income -
I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word:
Today's word is: "OMELETTE"

Let us use it in a sentence...
"I should pop yo azz fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one Slide."

As I've matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets!

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses!

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the azz are permanent.