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NOTE:as you can see my 1st prof got DELETED BCUZ OF SOME
HATERS on BP..im still receiving alot of hate mails mostly from
ladies,so guys if my page ever gets deleted again i'll make a new
page and post the link in my GROUP which you should be in
already...and for that reason i'll only talk to people from my
GROUP so if i dont respond to your message then your not in my
GROUP,nothing personal just dont wanna talk to HATERS. If you just
JOINING or already a member.THEN send me a note title "SOB"....make
sure it said "SOB" or else i wont answer and one more thing i have
a YAHOO ID now for those of you with YAHOO IM and if you wanna join
the group just
CLICK on any of my PIX below OR THE GROUP LOGO EVENTHO IM NOT THE OWNER, BUT IM ONE OF THE MODERATORS AND ALSO ITS DEDICATED TO BBW and BBW LOVERS..SO LETS ALL HELP MAKE IT THE "NUMBER ONE" ON BP AND IF YOU LOVE BBW THEN YOU WOULD SHOW ME SOME LOVE ANY OTHER PAGES YOU SEE WITH MY IMAGE IS A FAKE!!!! HERE ARE MY PAGES!!!! THE-REAL_NEJASHMEN ON BP NEJASHMEN AKA THICK WIT IT.IM ALSO ON MYSPACE AND I GOT 2 ON FACEBOOK....AND ON FACEBOOK I AM IN THE WAYNE STATE UNVERSITY NETWORK WHOEVER THIS ! SO YEAH,IF YOU WANNA SEE SOME MORE EXCLUSSIVE PIX, JUST HIT ME UP THE GROUP LINK BELOW.. CLICK AND CHECK IT OUT....AND FOR THOSE YOU WHO HAVE MYSPACE,I HAVE PIX ON THERE TOO BUT NOT TOO EXCLUSSIVE. HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol 0d91611.jpg)   CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol  CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol 063f097.jpg)  CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol 193abf9.jpg) 40d8.jpg) CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol 3.jpg) CLICK on any PIC to join OR INQUIRE 4159bf54a.jpg) CLICK on any of my BOOTY pix BELOW to join OR INQUIRE..lol ffe5.jpg)  WHY THE PHOTOS OF ME HALF DRESSED ???...YOU MAY ASK ........ IT'S BECAUSE I CAN ONLY BE ME....So, I need you to understand me, to embrace my imperfection and see my flaws!!! I need you not to harp on what is less than satisfactory about me, but praise what is emaculate about me... You see, in my 32 years of life, I have finally decided to accept me! I have always HATED everything that defined me as a black woman.. I grew up in my own world of hurt and insecurity! I hated BEING NEJASHMEN....I HATED THE SKIN I WAS IN!! Nothing was good, My skin too DARK, my hair TOO Nappy, my eyes not light enough, my waist not small enough, my hips not thin enough! I've EXISTED on a path of DESTRUCTION over the yrs, looking for ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE, in all the wrong places....I looked for it in a FATHER who didn't want me, a STEP-FATHER who beat me down both physically and mentally, boyfriends who were abusive and even a MARRIAGE that was DOOMED from the day we married. I even considered SUICIDE at time or 2...nevertheless, GOD saw fit to keep me so that I could learn to LIVE life and not just struggle to SURVIVE in my pity and self-doubt! I was always covered...covered COMPLETELY(not in cloth) but... by a shield that made me come across as confrontational, bossy, arrogant, and inconsiderate.... . the truth is, Nothing could be further from the truth!!! It was and often times is... MY SECURITY!! So when people ask, WHY THE PHOTOS OF ME HALF DRESSED..... it's because I refuse to HIDE myself EVER again...I am me and I will love Everything about me, from scars on my body to the soles of my size 10 feet....I need to LOVE what I see!! From the dark shade of my skin to the 230 pounds that the scale reads...IT's ME in all my GLORIOUS BEAUTY!!!. Every imperfection is a TESTIMONY and makes me FABULOUS: From the scar over my left eye, to the scar on my left arm, which came at the hands of my husband, to the stretch marks from pregnancy,weight loss, and weight gain, to the dimples in my %#&@$! from it being to damn big, I will not be ashamed! Nothing about me is coincidence... I was created this way for a reason!!!If I was 110 pounds and in a bikini, no one would critize....So my question then becomes, why can't I like what I see and share it??The answer to that question is....I CAN!! As every woman should feel, I DO IT CAUSE I CAN, AND NOBODY... AND I DO MEAN NOBODY DOES IT QUITE LIKE ME!! I wish for every young woman who reads this LOVE...an eternal, EVERLASTING love for yourself, I wish for each and everyone of you to LEARN from my mistakes....DON'T ACCEPT LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE and KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE REAL LOVE!!! And know that there is noone better than you! For ALL OF US THAT LOOK FOR ACCEPTANCE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD... ..KNOW THAT IF YOU ACCEPT YOURSELF, EVERYONE ELSE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO FALL IN LINE!! Even with all this being said, I know that I am NOW and FOREVER a "work in progress"! Trust I still have not grown strong enough to wear my natural hair and often I still have on contacts, but I have learned that I CAN ONLY BE ME AND THAT'S THE ONE THING THAT I AM CAPABLE OF DOING BEST!!! THERE IS NO MORE ROOM HERE FOR ANYTHING MORE. THAN PEACE, SERENITY AND POSITIVITY...IT WAS NOT INTENDED FOR YOU TO LIVE IN CHAOS, CONFUSION, PITY AND SELF-DOUBT....BE BLESSED, I AM!!! TO ALL LADIES WHO ARE INTERESTED IN DOING THE CALENDER AND WEBSITE, PLEASE JUST LEAVE YOUR AND YOUR NUMBER, PLEASE HAVE PHOTOS ON YOUR PAGE, IF I DONT GET BACK TO YOU RIGHT AWAY PLEASE BE PATIENT.... I PROMISE I WILL I always knew I could only be me....but I had to learn that BEING ME AIN'T BAD!!! SOMEWHERE IN MY TRAVELS TO OTHER COUNTRIES I REALIZED, I AM THIS BEING THAT GOD CREATED "perfect"...perfect, because nothing about me is COINCIDENCE!!! I am exactly what he intended me to be...I associated self-value with size...GUESS WHAT...I still do....EVERY OUNCE OF MY 230 POUND FRAME IS PRICELESS....SO I FEEL IT'S TIME I SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD WITHOUT SHAME! So when you see me in boyshorts, bikinis, half tops or maybe in nothing at all... IN A MAGAZINE(and I will be in one)...REMEMBER, I DO IT CAUSE I CAN...AND NO ONE, AND I DO MEAN NO ONE, DOES IT QUITE LIKE ME!!! . There are only 2 types of pain you can't hide...a toothache and heartache! Well I got heartache...there is nothing I have ever wanted more in my life than someone who I loved and who loved me in return. I searched for it my whole life! Never got it from my dad and never saw it in any relationships that the women in my family involed themselves in. As the other women in my family, I went thru life dealing with NO GOODS....niggas I knew cheated (yeah, I meant niggas)...Niggas that tried to beat me down both physically and mentally ( I still have nightmares and physical scars) niggas that tried to use me and niggas that I LEARNED to use first! NEVERTHELESS only 2 MEN were ever any good for me!. The first, I was 15 Limweshe (Tayon) Wright...he probably wouldn't recognize me if he saw me now, but he was a perfect gentleman....the first real date I ever had. He always had me home on time, he took me home to meet his momma, and never forced anything sexual...he was kind, compassionate, and though he only had a job working at the Fudgery, he would never let me go without a new hair-do or money in my pocket....just cause I was his girl.The first day we met, he introduced himself with a rose standin' outside his job.. After about 6 months of dating, he left me. He enlisted in the service and knew that I wasn't what he wanted for his future for he had never gotten over his older more mature ex girlfriend, who ironically, I resembled. But, what made him a man is he didn't lie or prolong my hurt...he simply let me go!. If I had had enough about myself I would have let that relationship be my standard set for all to follow. Instead I allowed myself to get into destructive relationships OVER AND OVER UNTIL.. I met Will Edwards, much younger, but charming and sexy! But I wouldn't give him the time of day, cause I thought he was full of games....he was persistant, but never pushing and always COOL, never pressed. I was sooo turned on and intrigued by him that I eventually became the persuer. We got together and to my suprise he was RIGHT....RIGHT IN EVERYWAY, but now...I was all WRONG....cause wrong was all I'd known for soooo many years. I made it my business to make evey situation an arguement or if he needed alone time I accused...or mistook time with the boys for meaning not wanting to spend time with me. Don't get it twisted, he made MAJOR mistakes too, but none that compared to mine. He would spend most of his free time with me, give me anything he had and I know he REALLY loved me. He was the one who held me when I had nightmares, he was the one who let me know it was OK to cry because I wasn't alone, he even loved the glasses on, weave off, nothing fashionable on, BROKE as Hell Nejashmen...and I am woman enough to admit, I blew it! I thought cause I was older I knew it all...I didn't know %#&@$!! What I learned is though the exterior has changed, the interior is still that insecure little ugly black girl.....and you know what, sometimes she still shows herself when I look in the mirror...and that girl chased Will away. Now he too is gone and remember those 2 types of hurt I mentioned....lol...well I wish I only needed a DENTIST! That tooth you can fix, this heart is in 1000 pieces...no matter how many pieces I pic up there is always some pieces left behind!. I say this to say, guys give us a break..I know we %#&@$!,nag,whine...but often times we have been beaten down and done wrong so long that when a genuine guy comes along, we don't know how to get along. Give us time, nothing hurts more than knowing you gave up to easily cause it seemed to be too much trouble!. And ladies, HEAL your hearts and yourselves....allow yourselves forgiveness and release the anger and hurt for whats been done in the past...or you'll find yourself like me...LETTIN' GO of love because you weren't mature enough to handle it! |
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