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About me:

I'm contradictive sometimes. I am not all of one; I am a bit of all. It would be hard to categorize me in one word. I battle with my own thoughts often. I'm deep, very deep... too deep at times, sometimes I may come off weird. Sometimes, I feel nobody can truly grasp me. I am a dweller of both darkness and light. I have been to the top and I have sat at the bottom. Throughout all of that, I have found that I am most happy somewhere in between. If my complexities aren't too much for you, I'll bet that we can at least share a laugh or two :-).

My biggest passion is water, my ultimate fantasy was making love in the rain... never happened. Now, I wanna swim naked with the dolphins and let the water flow around me, massaging my body and feel my heavy silky hair movin across me as I swirl in the water... go as deep as I can go and hit the bottom then come back up refreshed. It is truly my air. I'm truly the closest to a mermaid U'll ever meet

I wanted that fairytale, I was after that fairytale; I know it doesn't exist now. I don't need the broken promises, the kisses goodnight, JUST A FRIEND. I like it dark... this is my comfort zone. I enjoy the dreams, my dreams and I have come to realize dreams don't come true... and that's OKAY, I am okay with that. So I extract it. I draw my pain, my weaknesses, my desires, my life, and things that haunt me.

It's hard to space myself. I can be here hours at a time into my art. I am so passionate about bringing my imaginations and dreams to life, sometimes I cannot even paint it and become so frustrated, I have to put it to rest. I am a perfectionist. It has to be perfect, if NOT I feel I have failed myself. This is my high, my addiction... it heals me, and I get lost in it.

 
Who I'd like to meet:

Who would I like to meet?... an Understanding, anybody who speaks my language. For me, speaking of what rests inside me is comparable to speaking a foreign language to most. It would nice when I speak, it is familiar to one. I need a pace that will calm me because I race heavily. To give an insight, I don't mind breaking the surface... most are afraid to show who they are I AM NOT. Many are too afraid to examine themselves for what they may find... afraid to take off that mask. I am not afraid; the worst could happen is somebody not understanding, somebody not liking me because I mirror them. I accept the past... for the past is who I am and why I am. I am just awake this time, no dreaming anymore. Just as if you awoke from a nightmare, you don't wanna fall right back to sleep so that you don't slip back into that frightening dream. Then when you feel you're out of the undesirable that is going to happen, you relax and gentle fall back asleep... Please know, I just haven't found that synchronization, that calmness, that safety zone so that I can let go and not fall.

I am not broken, don't try to fix me, don't think I am in the here because I have to be... I'm good, im good... i'm alright... All my life I never thought I was worthy of being loved. Now I wonder who is worthy of mine. My heart has been touched but I wonder if I can give without bleeding. Do I trust? NO... if you lie about the little things, what keeps you from lying about the big things when then you would be tempted to lie even more?? Which overall one cannot be trusted since there is no perimeter or boundary

I used to attempt to be everything that everybody else wanted me to be that I had lost myself somewhere along the way. I learned to be alil more selfish. I try to conduct myself as a lady unless I feel cornered. I'm quiet with others, most dont know what I'm thinking unless, I'm upset. I'm not a loud person. I am playful tho. I LUV to play, tickle, wrestle, catch you off guard, put you in no-win situation & scare the hell outta YA!