b_e_h_r_a_m

*Updated September 12th, 2008. Hey bp, another year has passed us by, or has it? Nonetheless, I am getting such great feedback on my poetry I have decided to add a few more pieces, and retire the ones I had up. It's been a blessing speaking with intelligent people, and I hope to continue to do so. May this year be better than the last for all. *

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My name is Jonathan and I am glad you took the time to read over my page (if you are reading and not just looking at pictures). I am 23 and work in the law enforcement field. I graduated from Cal State East Bay with a degree in criminal justice, and a focus in Human Behavioral Science. I am easy going and just like to discuss things in life that actually matter. What about yourself, do you often find yourself discussing: Government? Sex? Financial oppurtunity? Careers? Well so do I lol. I am here to talk to other goal oriented people like myself. People who are open minded, and intelligent. Of course if you happen to be a beautiful young lady you don't need any of the prior qualities listed (haha J/K). I am very big on spoken word poetry and hiphop so you should check out the poetry that I share and let me know what you think. Alright people I highly doubt 90% of you even have read this far, but if you have I am impressed = ].




Poetry: Still a Child

a childhood left hopeless
like stray bullets to
innocent children
i walked to school on
blood stained pavements
ducked yellow tape and
crossed chalk outlines to
witness life's disgraces

mind corrupted by late night sirens
early morning screams
chained by the threshold society
has kept me in
constricted, like sonnets
grudge matches between being
a righteous brother and an alcoholic
atheist, religious, or agnostic
my mind state is not demonic

but we wear mask
to hide from reality's pain
when the walls collapse
we're left standing naked
wishing the time would pass
i'm still a young child
stuck in my past
yearning over could haves
and what ifs

to die in one's thoughts
to make answers clearer
and dreams tasteful

I am a wanderlust fool






Title: Where are you?

though it seems times may be changing
i always find myself pacing
contemplating
tryin to relate to
those that are hating
time is racing
in a sense such desperation
is the shadow that confronts my vacant
naked state of conscience
just trying to stay fighting and make it
because the light at the end of the tunnel
for now is just shaded...

all the hating
is just a balance
keeps me striving
keeps me silent
keeps me hoping
keeps me determined
breathing uncertain
gasps of polluted air


the summers heat and deprivation finally seems to be moving on
only to be confronted
with cold and enduring months
cuddled in the corner
surviving only with one's warmth
missing my lost twin
that could understand my hope
being whispered within the barren winds
my lost twin
they always said
somewhere unknown
that your perfect match is lurking
hurting so deep, all the same
wishing they could endure
the season of emotional restraint
instead of beating yourself literally
to sleep slowly
drowning your sorrows
against the other side of the other pillow
because its vacant
something's vacant
my need for love is NOT vacant
every human needs support to survive
the other half of me, may not even be alive
that's how i feel sometimes drowning despair within my
wasted time......... where are you?






Title: Harder

It becomes so hard to remain positive
when what you see around you often is so negative
struggling, working, long, grueling, shifts on consecutive strings of lonley nights...
watching all the beautiful women passing by
sometimes observing a special twinkle inside their eyes
but its only for someone thats got their arm around them by their side
chances for romance in my life have always died...

but i cant explain when romance
slithered by with its special stride
why at those moments i had my tongue tied...
only to keep so much insecurity i had about her locked inside
from then on those deep emotions died
never,ever,
letting them catch one single ray of sunlight....

so this time i really wanted to try...
to let her know that a warm heart really does reside
deep inside...which cant be penetrated by the naked eye...
only letting her observe quick glimpses
just to keep her interested...
thats the way i thought, and ive learned from the past
the only way you can keep a women interested

then you attempt to come forward
and all my strong men in here know what i mean
when a women says "why cant he just be honest?"
and then you attempt to
pouring out the depths of your deepest feelings
attempting to finally free the beast youve kept inside
only to feel like you set yourself up for the drilling
when you realize she doesnt hear you...
she doesnt feel you
she doesnt care

its just like the group of guys sometimes you see outside
when they grill you
feel the tension in the air
and nothing can heal it
often i thought a women possesed a special sense of feeling
like the ultraviolet rays inside her soft, sensual eyes
really was speaking a message in code....
that they care to see you make it to the next day alive
thier here for you, to remind you
during hard times...
that everything really will be alright
only to realize
that she only posseses a heart of ice...
and it could never be thawed out
for you...
and the fiery feelings you feel inside
become extreme hurt, jealousy and sensitivity
which brings you right back to the mystery
of you
and they say
"does he have any feelings at all?"

of course i do,
regardless of your misunderstandings
i still remain human
but its harder to continue on
day, by day
when you feel your city pushing against you
and all you hear is whispers
talking about you...
but they dont know you... the struggle