billwalton18 add me on oovoo billywalton18 - March 10, 2011 add/view comments (0)

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I don't know what my path in life is, or have any idea where it will lead to. I used to know who I was, but now I'm different. Because of some not so great events in my life, I lost sight of myself along the way. I do know that I'm a very caring person, perhaps too much, and I have a lot of love to give. But I only want to give it to family and friends, because any other way is too risky. I've been hurt before in the past. Not just any heartbreak that's normal for a teen... I wish it were. I wouldn't be where I am today. I will of course admit that I've been worse off... back when I had absolutely no one. At least now I know I have some truly amazing people in my life who I would die for if it came to that. there was 1 person i would have died for untill she %#&@$!ed me over in my face. At some point in my life, I was considered a very innocent person. I guess I still am in many ways, but not like I was before. I've been corrupted and I'm not the same person I once was... that part of me was slaugered by Too many contradicting thoughts and emotions flood my mind and I never really know what to make of them. Sometimes it feels like I'll literally be torn to shreds by it all. Not possible, I know... but it feels that way. Some things I'm just too afraid to tell... even to the closest people to me. People have tried to make me more open, but I don't think I could ever reach that level. Sometimes I think about running away... but chances are I won't. I don't have what it takes to make such great leaps. My heart is taken by someone who will never really know how much they mean to me. I can say it a million times over, but it will never even begin to describe my feelings. I'm constantly paranoid that in the end, I'm only going to end up having my heart shattered into billions of pieces. Some part of me has already braced itself for the harsh blow. I love deeply and passionately, and once I give you my heart, you will always have it. Unfortunately, I always seem to fall for the ones I shouldn't. I'll love you even if I can't have you... even if you hurt me. I'll love you even after I'm gone, and no matter what you've done to me, I'll never have anything but best wishes for you. Sometimes the people I love the most, are also the people I resent the most. I'm a very jealous person. I usually prefer to hide my deepest feelings... I write a lot of them down, but there's some I try to protect so desperately that any evidence of them exists only in my own mind. Looks can be deceiving; I am not as interesting as people think I am and I am not better than anyone else. There is no one that is too much different from anyone else, I cry too, I sleep too, I feel too, I dream too, but it is the mind that defines the difference. Life sometimes can be cruel, but the difference is that whether or not to seek and regain hope, aim for the light by the end of the tunnel and carry on. So I tend to smile.....^_^ And thanks for reading all this nonsenses crap if you have done! THIS HW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT MY LIFE AND THIS IS THE WAY I SEE IT! NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE LET IN BUT THE ONES THAT ARE LET IN ARE THE ONES THAT MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE AND IF U FUCK UP THAT CHANCE U WILL NEVER GET IT AGAIN!