Restoring Love
In order for Black relationships to prosper, black men and women must learn to love themselves first and foremost if we have any chance of having a successful, productive, nurturing, healthy, monogamous, prosperous relationship with each other. We must embrace the Golden rule to "Love thy neighbor as thyself," but how can we Love anyone, when many of us are holding on to old baggage, that has halt our growth and shut Love and prosperity out of our lives. Your heart and mental health depend on your ability to reduce hurt, and anger towards yourself and others, that's why forgiveness of one's self and those that hurt you is so effective in healing old wounds of the past, which enables us to let go, open-up and move forward. With that said, so many black relationships are failing because no one is perfecting themselves within.
During slavery, nearly 80 percent of Black children were raised in a two-parent home; in today's time, there has been a paradigm shift that reflects the polar opposite, with nearly 70 percent of Black children being raised in a single-parent home. Why? Times has changed and many of our women are caught up in the independent feminist phenomenon that has created the, "I don't need a man mentality," opting to wait on their so-called, "Knight in Shining Armor,". Many have decided they will not settle for what they perceive as less, ultimately because of the growing gap between Black women, who are more educated and successful than Black men, whom by the way, are going to college less frequently, so many black men don't meet their standards, which has lead to the degeneration and disrespect among black men and women.
On one side of the spectrum black women often describe, black men as being uneducated, jobless, inconsistent, dogs, unfaithful, no manners, disrespectful, and lazy among other terms. On the other hand, black men often describe black women as gold diggers, nagging, loudmouth, harsh, belittling and too much attitude. These harsh overviews that black men and women have embraced as truth, has seemly degenerated black Love and the Black family structure.
My beautiful sisters, consider this if a woman is too strong, unapproachable, inconsiderate, unrealistic, and does not compromise, of course your mate or any man for that matter might seem less of a counterpart, that's why a woman should investigate and take notice of a man goals and envision his growth over time.
Case in point, First Lady Michelle Obama. When Barack and Michelle first met, she stated, "He had no money; he was really broke," His wardrobe was kind of cruddy... He had five shirts... His first car had so much rust that there was a rust hole in the passenger door. You could see the ground when we were driving and it would shake ferociously when it would start up. I thought, This brother is not interested in ever making a dime...(Excerpt from 'Michelle: A Biography)," but Michelle overlooked status at the time, and focused on Barack's drive and determination for the future and decided she, "would just have to love him for his values," she stated this because, primarily, she was the breadwinner of the relationship at that time in their lives.
Now ask yourselves ladies; how many of you all would be willing to support a family with a struggling mate. Let me guess, not many! But you all won't to reap the benefits once the man has endured the hardships solo, but what you all fail to realize is, once we as black men reach the pentacle of success, we often don't know, who is with us for us, thus developing the mindset, that (MONEY) is the motivational factor behind the flock of women that now view us as a commodity, and thus black men start viewing black women as golddiggers, however, because black women feel like they have finally meet their, "Knight in Shining Armour," black men start taking advantage of their new found opportunities (i.e. Sexual Opportunities), which often only leads to black relationships being in disarray, primarily, because materialism has overshadowed our culture. Because of this, black men and women don't, Respect, Cherish, Embrace, Love, and Trust each other anymore.
How can we begin to rebuild black Love? If the black man embrace the fact that HaMashiyach (Christ) is the head of every man, and the black woman embraces the fact that the head of the woman is the man; and together they both grasp the fact that God (YHWH) is the head of All, and together respect each other, compromise and work as a team. Then and only then will we truly begin to embrace each other with genuine admiration and Love, and restore the Black Family back to prominence.
