chocolate11_83 going to bed soon - September 23, 2009 add/view comments (0) |
|
|
Hi
BP.  Ce'Tara Alesha Tootie Chris Josh Amanda Jackie Darius Kevonn Siearrah All My Nieces and Nephews Rakeem T-man All my Sis and Bros Wynter Tony Aeriel the whole U.M.B. Youth Dept Y.O.U. at UAM I Love Y'all Always Now...  About Me... Great sense of humor Down to Earth Very Honest Smart Love Children (do not have any of my own) Trusting and Trustworthy Respectful Easy to "get along with" Love to play and watch basketball Poems Music President and Director of Union Missionary Baptist Church Youth Department br /> Peer Counselor at the Youth Opportunities Unlimited at U.A.M. (3 years) Bad side of me... It takes a lot to get me very upset, but when you push me to that point I can and will have avery bad attitude toward you. I don`t take my anger out on a different person (well, I try notto). I believe that there is a time and place for solve the problem or handle any situation that you might face. I feel thatfemales and sometime males that "Show his/her %#&@$!"in public end up looking like an %#&@$!. I feel that a real lady or a real man know how to act like a lady/man in public. Now when you get home, what you do is your business. I personally feel that screaming and fight never solves anything. If you are dealing with a mature lady or male, then you should be able to solve the problem by talking. Some time you come across a "Ghetto", uneducated, loud, rude individual that think that the louderyouare, the better you sound. Sorry that is not always the case. What makes me...ME I have to type of personality that if you know me, you will love me. If you don`t know me, you`ll hateme. I am easily misunderstood. This is because people seem to think that you can "figure someone out" by looks or what they "assume"a person is like. I truly believe that most assumptions makes an %#&@$! of people. Just because you see me talking to a guy doesn`t mean we are together or having sex...we can just talk or be friends. ALWAYS GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE YOU MAKE A JUDGEMENT OF THEM. I hate when "adults" act like little kids. If you are a real woman/man there is certain things you should and shouldn`t do... 1. A real man/woman don`t have to talk about other people to keep a conversation going. In other words, if you can NOT hold any type of conversation without dogging someone, then you need to evaluate yourself. 2. A real man/woman is not lazy. You shouldn`t be living off of other people, no job, no responsiblities, and 5 "girl/boyfriends" and call yourself an "adult." Don`t get me wrong...I`m not heartless...I know some people are not able to do certain thing but if you can...do. "If you know better, you should do better." 3. A real man/woman takes care of his/her responsibilities. I hate when a man/woman has kids that they do not take care of or (in some cases) know. I understand that some situations can not be avoided. Situations that will keep you from taking care of your children as well as you want or need to take care of them. But PLEASE do not let your children lack for something when you have the source to satisfy their needs. I hate to see parents walking around with fresh hair cuts/styles, Polo outfit, and $150.00 shoes and their children look like their hair hasn`t been comb in weeks, clothes you got from Fred`s hasn`t been washed in months, and shoes so dirty and torn, it look like they had them for 10 years. Your child is a reflection of you. ALWAYS put your child NEEDS before yours WANTS! 4. NEVER...NEVER bring a child into a "Adult" conversation, situation, and/or confrontation. Let me explain...if you have a problem with another adult, do not tell a child about that problem or try to influence that child to dislike that person because the situation/problem you have with that person. Let me put in the simpliest way possible. If you are an adult and you have a problem with an adult, handle that problem like an ADULT. 5. Think before you do or say anything. Some time we say things out of anger that we don`t mean to say. I feel that we really mean what we say, we just choose the wrong approach, tone, and/or way we say those things. Don`t say something in a way that you know after you say it and/or things cool down, you will have to apologize. There nothing wrong with apologizing but know that the damage has been done. You can not change or take back the things you have said and/or done to that person. As adult, we have to realize that words and action means the world to most people and there is a thin line between being real and being "stupid" about the situation. For those of you that still don`t get what I`m trying to explain... Situation and argument are going to occur, how you handle that situation determines the type of person and/or how mature you really are. It this time I know I have pissed a lot of people off. And as long as I know I am being real, I really don`t care. It time for adults to start acting like adult and stop wanting everyone to tell us what we want to hear rather than what we NEED to hear. When we get to the point that we can hear the truth about ourselves then we will be better adults. I am a sensative person so if I have hurt anyone feelings I am truly sorry for doing so. I am not sorry for what I said. If someone can point out something that I was wrong for say (or in this case, writing) I am a woman and I will apologize. Some of my goals are... 1. To better understand my calling from God. I have always believe God has something He want meto do. At this moment I`m not exactly sure what that is. I know that I`m not where I need to be.I`m striving everyday to enhance my spiritual self (and other words my soul). More detail when asked!!!! 2. I just gratuated from Remington college in Little Rock. I also have y Associate of Arts degree from UAM. I plan to further my education and become a RN.. 3. I want to marry my King...(guess I have to meet him first)...I thought I was with my future husand but he wasn`t the person i thought he was. Actually, he wasn`t the person he said he was. I never thought that a "grown" man will lie about his life. I have had two "boyfriends" that has made up a life. One was more dramatic than the other. The bad thing is that he actually believe everything he says. That is a new level of lies. The last one lied about his past. We still are close but not together. Some times I wish that things were different and we could be together, but it`s not. He can not be trusted and i believe that trust is a necessity for a relationship to work. !!UPDATE!! Well, what can I talk (in this case, type) about now?...hmmm.... My "FRIENDS"...I can never say enough about them... You know what... I changed my mind. They are not worth the time it would take for me to give y`all the full understanding of our "friendship." I was always told that you will only find one true find in your lifetime. I starting to believe this statement is true. I think i have express enough of my feelings...any questions? LADIES get respect, HOES get wat they deserve LADIES get catered 2, HOES gotta serve LADIES stand by their man, HOES got anotha one on the side LADIES wanna make luv, HOES just wanna %#&@$! LADIES tell the truth, HOES lie all the time LADIES are sexy classy and smart, HOES r just fine LADIES have their own car, HOES need an oil change LADIES shoot the target, HOES get out of range LADIES want a husband, HOES want a thug LADIES want success, HOES want a car wit dubbs LADIES have children, HOES get knocked up LADIES care for others, HOES just don`t give a %#&@$! LADIES go 2 college, HOES go 2 jail LADIES appreciate this poem, HOES r mad as hell As of Now!!!!!!!!! It's been a while since I've really read and/written anything on these page. Even though I still agree with the words and feeling on this page, I have grown and experiences changes in my surroundings. I am starting to think of the glass half full instead of half empty. I've never really understood (or care about) the meaning of that statement. Now, I think I know... I was always thinking about the negative things in my life. I've gain weight...I'm single...I'm not as "active" as before...I'm broker than I've ever been... It seems that every step I take, I get knocked back 3. What is wrong with me? Why do I think like this? Why this? and Why that? Where do I go/do now? Have you ever ask these questions? Well,     I've always told my friends and my "babies" that no one will love you until you love yourself. But I need to tell myself. I have been beaten, dogged, mistreated, talked about, lied on so much that I thought it was just normal for me to be treated like that. I've often wondered why I look in my friends' life and help them with the problems, mistakes, and complications they are/were dealing with but could never look in the mirror and help myself. I've never understood. Now, I've realize that I've been so busy helping the world that I forgot me and what makes me happy. But I have a conflict with that....Helping people makes me happy. Having someone to share that happiness with will make me truly happy. The next situation I had/have to deal with is learning how the be happy be myself. I always thought that people who say "You have to learn to be by yourself in order to be with someone else" were using that excuse so they wouldn't have explain why they were single. Now, I believe it. I look back to my past relationships....WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I couldn't believe I put up with the things I know I should have left about. Even though the male was happy, I wasn't. Why? Because I'm happy when I make other people happy. No, because I was afraid of being alone. Dealing with pyschological and emotional (not physical, I'm not taking an %#&@$! whooping) abuse was better then dealing with the fact that everyone around me had someone but me.
 ; MAY 1, 2008.... I
am now living back in Pine Bluff. I'm trying to get my life back
together. I've substracted and added people in my life. Some have
been good, others bad. All have created a new
unforgetableÃ⠀šÃ‚ 4; experiences.
I flew for the first time April 2007. I went to Maryland. I also
went to Washington D,C. I even saw President Bush (not the greatest
personÆ;šÃ‚Â&nbs p;in
the world). Thnx for cummin |
