cphilanoatl - add/view comments ()

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i'm back, black, and ready to interact. i'm 6'0" tall and 190 lbs (far from fat). i work out and run regularly. i'm in the atl and straight as hell, so no messages from gay, trans, or down low dudes (you can keep that %#&@$!). love everything about women and nobody can change that. you can also hit me up on yahoo messenger at cphilano@yahoo.com no 1 clicks. it seems kind of robotic doesn't it. it's like receiving one of those marketing calls where they play you a recorded message. annoying as hell. i thought women were all about communication. let's forget the one liners and short notes. let's ask questions and give real answers.

so i'm chatting with a young intelligent lady on this site. i'm putting my charm, wit, and humor on display, and i'm in rare form. we are having a great conversation with each subject that we cross as weÃâ€& scaron;ÂÂ& nbsp; get to know each other. i'm not putting the focus on any sexual matters (though i flirt a little); we mostly coverse on the interactions between women and men, and how we have arrive to some of the situations that have gotten out of control between the two sexes. then she asks me "are you involved in a relationship?" i replied yes (though i'm not) because i was kind of curious as to how she would react if was involved considering i wasn't pushing the i want to pursue you button. so after seeing my answer, she immediately thanks me for being honest, and commences to tell me we shouldn't chat anymore because it would be disrespectful to my woman. i tell her i'm a procrastinator and i'll get around to it, lol. she tells me to tell her, and if my girl is cool with it we can stay in contact. i then say "i need permission from her." i swore i grew up and moved away from mommy. so to make a long story short she wished me a good life and developed a new question.Ã⠀šÃ‚& Acirc; 

ladies this is a site full of singles looking to date, but its also a networking, professionals, and job searching site. so, is it okay for a man to just get his chat on with maybe a little flirting if he is involved with someone? and i do have to point out the many women on here with men that are accepting friends and chat buddies too. i see you! it just kind of threw me on how quick she was out even though this is online chatting and we weren't pushing the sexual boundaries at all, and if i said no i wasn't attached we'd still be chatting and still would probably never see each other anyway. so what do you think?

here's some responses:

What I think is both of you were in the right. Im always appreciative of any woman who passes up the opportunity to help a man engage in behavior that is disrespectful to his current "Mrs." I also think there is nothing wrong with networking or just simple chatting. It's obvious that even though ya'll werent chattin "explicitly" that there was something in you that she wanted to persue on another level. Im with her...If im making mental notes of other things that I'd rather be talking to you about and you're involved why tease myself...it's best to get out before you cross a line that shouldnt be crossed....You know what they say about Karma. So It really all boils down to being on the "same page" and being real about your intentions weather they be spoken or unspoken. I'm sure she's not the first to have less than "good" intentions for you...lol Z

I agree with your inquirer's decision. I like the fact that you were honest, but alot of times females can't handle. Especially with a history of males playing games, NOT SAYING that females don;t, the blame goes both ways. But if I was in her position, I would have made the same decision and cut the situation short. It's numerous reasons why, that I would go into detail about, but why? So.....I guess i was just responding to your page. Take care and be blessed!

 From a secure females perspective, I think chatting with the opposite sex (and flirting) be it online, in public, on the phone, whatever is questionable. I think if you are in a relationship and you've established that is okay hen fine. If it hasn't been discussed, then maybe it should be. If your partner feels uncomfortable with that, then you have to make a decision regarding how much of your personal pleasure you are willing to sacrifice to make your relationship work. Either way, communication will help you decide early on if you want to have a lasting partnership. If you have nothing to hide, that shouldn't be a problem! Ciao!