feebee16 RIP TAMMARIS!!!! I should have bought you that beer... damn.... - Oct 05 add/view comments (0)

A patient where I work said the most vile and ignorant thing this morning. I'm sitting here doing my morning duties and he starts speaking to me from up the stairs. I was told I reminded him so much of his daughter. We started speaking and he mentioned how this Hispanic guy that comes to visit him used to date his daughter. I mentioned how nice that was and I told him that I had met her current boyfriend that seemed like a very nice guy. He went on to say, "I can't keep track of her boyfriends she's had so many of them." I responded by saying, "Us women can go through that dating phase." He then brought up the fact that he was black and went on to say, "I'm from the old school and the old school thinks that is a down grade." At this point I was shocked that I was hearing such ignorance although it didn't surprise me. I merely responded with a calm and collected answer of, "Well we're all human beings now aren't we?" After that I didn't utter a word. How truly ignorant this man must be. What makes a Hispanic guy different than a African American guy first off? Then, what makes him so accepting of Hispanic people and so opposed to African Americans? You can tell his racism is directed to one group of people. I mean I could understand if he was Hispanic and didn't like his daughter dating outside of that race (even though that wouldn't be right either but at least it'd make more sense), but he's Caucasian. I believe it's people like him in this world that fuel this unrealistic hatred and spread it to others. Thank God his own daughter still continues to pursue what she feels is right and is dating the man anyways. I'm just so fed up with society and their double standards. I'm sick of prejudice and racist people. I feel like people such as myself who can acknowledge that race is only related to where you come from and has nothing to do with the kind of person you are slowly but surely are a dying breed of people. I've always been a peaceful person when it comes to everything. I've been raised to respect people regardless of what they look like or where they come from and respect that everyone has their own different opinions and beliefs. So why other parents can't instill those same morals and values in their children I have no idea. I think it's selfish of the parents to paralyze their children with such hatred because of  their hate and greed. Eventually karma comes around and balances out what you deserve in life from what you have. I believe if you truly fight the good fight it won't always be easy to get where you want to be in life, but when you get there you'll know you got it because you deserved it. It's the devil that makes the right way hard, but if you stay focused and have a strong faith you can get past the obstacles he throws your way. Life is realy all about self discovery. God made it so that we had other people like us on this earth to help us learn and help us move forward and stay strong in our faith. We are far more powerful if we work together than against each other. Not every person you are going to meet will realize this and some people won't be productive to who you are so you have to have good judgment in character. It's people whose faiths are compromised that are tools of the devil without knowing it sometimes. They can severly misguide you from the right path. So stay focused, be patient and diligent in your faith and in the end you will be rewarded. Don't always look to the most convenient solution because sometimes cutting corners is what gets us into trouble. Even when it seems like hope is gone, remember even in darkness there is light.

Violence, Negativity, Ignorance

Overflowing our communities

Spreading like an epidemic

Contaminating the lives of millions

Will we forever be oppressed by ignorance?

Or will we wake to reality

Seeing the truth beneath the lies

We need to exorcize this demon

From the depths of our complex minds

Reclaim what is rightfully ours

And make this world a better place If not for us but the generations to come

Before there is no turning back

Life is anything but easy and I acknowledge and accept that. I know that love hurts and isn't always what we bargained for. I know that people in this day are lost without a cause. Knowing all this doesn't mean that I have to follow a trend. I refuse to sit by and let other peoples mistakes affect my future. I often sit and wonder why the good people of America have to pay for the bad decisions that others have made. It saddens me to have to hear about a different tragedy every single day. The madness is wearing on my psyche and I don't want to deal with it anymore. It's time the good people on this earth take a stand for what is right and all that is good. I feel its a shame that people who share my opinions don't stand up for themselves more. Instead because they are in constant fear of rejection, they hide their heads in the ground like ostriches hoping maybe someone else will make it go away. We need to stop waiting for others to make a change; we need to stop being followers. It's time to take a stand a become leaders in change. The world will never change if we continue in the direction we're going. I am well aware of the many changes that have occurred in the recent months including our first ever African American President. I myself voted for Barack Obama. However I believe that too many people are putting all of their desires and expectations on him. He may be the President of America however a leader is only as good as the people that follow him.

 So I'm on the phone with one of my really close friends today and I stumbled upon some shit in my head that made everything about this life extremely crystal clear. In a way I suppose you can say that it changes the way I view life. I believe sometimes you need to just sit and think about things in order for you to clearly see whats really going on.It all started out when I brought up the problem I had with our economy and the government. More specificly the whole organic foods issue. First of all, what on earth have we been eating this entire time before they started using the term "organic". So essentially, the question I'm trying to ask is: Why are we paying more for items and food that are grown naturally. Last time I checked pesticides, growth hormones, and genome reproduction are way more expensive than growing something with seeds. water, and soil. So why are we paying more for these items? Why should we have to pay extra to eat healthier? Why should we as a people pay to live in a safer enviroment? Isnt that essentially what the government is there for? What the FDA is there for? What is the USDA there for? I mean what is any government funded program for? Why should we have to pay for eco-friendly cars? I mean lets face it , why should we have to do anything? As is we have to work two jobs in this day and age just to stay afloat and live a halfway comfortable life. Why should we have to do all the work and pay more money for all these services, items and resources? Isnt that what we supposably pay taxes for? Anyway you slice the pizza, the fact is we as US citizens and human beings are being extorted. Have you ever stopped to ask your self why gas prices are so high? I know I do everyday. Most would believe that the cause for the increase in gas prices are because of the war in Iraq and all that terrorism mumbo jumbo. However I truly believe its something way beyond that. I mean think about it really. Do you ever hear about anywhere else in the world having issues with sky rocketing gas prices to the extent that the US does? I may be wrong because I havent researched this subject thoroughly but last time I checked no one but the U.S. is having problems of this magnitude when it comes to gas. While some would like to believe that its because of the "War in Iraq", I believe if you open up your eyes and start noticing things for what they truly are, the trends will tell you otherwise. Right now like it or not, this country IS in a depression. They may sugar coat whats going on with their keen forms of word play, but ultimately when it all comes down to the nitty gritty, we're in a depression. We are printing more and more money when the amount of gold we have in the treasury is still the same. For those who don't know, paper money isnt valuable. Its the gold it reflects. All this gold, all the gold the US owns, is in the treasury. The paper money and coin money that we handle everyday is just a mere reflection of what the U.S. has. Now when the dollar was first invented, the concept was right. However, they kept printing and printing the money there for each dollar that was produced ultimately brought down the value of the next dollar. Then you get credit card companies in the mix who are giving people unrealistic spending abilities. Thus in turn plumitting our economy even further into the ground. So all that is just a recipe for disaster. I mean its plain for anyone to see thats not a good thing. To top it off they pay all these professional atheletes, actors, singers and rappers all this money which essentially is another form of overextending the amount of gold we have in the country. I mean I'm all about if you work hard for your money then you should get it and be compensated for your time, but I'm also a firm believer that people get way to overcompensated for things at times. Especially in this day and age. As Americans we're overcompensated for everything. My generation along with the ones that have been following after me, seem to be under the delusional impression that just because they wake up every morning they are entitled to the world. Especially growing up in an afluent rich neighborhood, it was aparent that in this day and age children are spoiled because parents are lazy. Parents are too lazy to actually raise their children so instead they spoil them with IPods, cell phones, ps2's, computers and other junk to keep their children out of their hair and distraction. A form of effortless control for parents. Our generations and the generations that are to follow in our footsteps are being raised now not by parents but by mainstream society and the media. Last time I checked, they were playing condom commercials during after school hours and sexual performance enhancers during dinner hours and afternoon talk shows. Music about crude sexual favors and explicit lyrics being played on the radio incessantly. They'll edit and sensor out cuss words and profantiy but when it comes to inuendos they dont care. Its the inuendos that make shit look cute and appealing. And its cute things that kids latch on to. Sometimes because they think its funny and sometimes because they think its cool. Children are so easily influenced. They wonder why we have so many bad ass kids. Well look whos raising them. Why is it that the government allows this? I mean obviously they must have kids right? Are they not concerned about their children? Probably not. They have money to put their kids through extraciriculars and private league teams. They have the money to keep their kids busy. But everday working people dont have that priviledge all the time and sometimes its easier for parents to turn the tv on or the game console. The government essentially doesnt care about everday working class people and their families because they are too busy tryin to control them. This government is run by old money. Basically you pretty much have to be born into our goverment, although they never will admit this, to have any authority in the white house or within our government. It's all the same people who, in some way shape or form, were born into wealth. They are born into that stature. So essentially no one gives a hoot about your kids, my kids, or her kids. In a technologicaly advanced world they are now using media and myspace and other forms of entertainment and leisure as distractions to keep us as a society controlled. The more we sit in front of the computer the less chances we have to rebel because we're in the comfort of our own home. Thats how they want us to view it. When in reality, like Alex Jones claims, we are turning into a prison world. Our houses like jail cells. We just think we have freedom when really we get what freedom they decide to give us. Almost how it is in prison.

So the other night I went bowling with my best friend Kristin. I had to pick him up near central and lake (west side of Chicago). Nedless to say I'm not big with driving down blocks especially on the west side, so I picked him up at a shopping center. I arrived before him, so I just sat in the parking lot and waited till he arrived. I parked facing a fence that separated some apartments from the shopping center parking lot and on the other side of the fence there were children playing. They were climbing up on the fence and noticed I was sitting there in my car. I smiled at them, reminiscing back to the days when I was a kid and things were so much more simpler. My trip down memory lane was abruptly snatched from me when these bad ass little kids began to throw rocks at my car. I thought the first one was maybe just an accident so I sat in my car and tried to shake it off, all the while looking at the time. Then another rock and another rock and then another rock flew over the fence and hit my car. Well that's when I started to get a little frustrated. Then I see these kids peek over the fence tossing a rock in their hands contemplating throwing some more rocks at my car. My eyes met the kids and it was kind of like a stare off. I shook my head no and mouthed the words, "Please stop!" Despite my efforts to calmly handle the situation, these punks (who probably ranged from the ages of 5 to 10 years) started throwing rocks again despite the fact I could see them doing it. So then I unrolled my window and said, "Stop it now!" then one of the little jerks called me a "Cracker!" and I was damn near about to go off on the little fucker when Thank God my friend came to the rescue and I was able to leave. But that whole experience brought a lot of anxiety and disappointment in my mind about our world today and the future of the generations to come. It scares me to see society moving backwards. I thought (naivety on my part maybe) that this was 2009 and although I was aware that racism does in fact exist, I'm just extremely disappointed that racism has been passed through generations the way it has. I grew up oblivious to color and with the realization that color didn't make a man. Each human being is a different living, feeling, breathing human being and they have the right to the same blessings and opportunities as I have. I was blessed to be raised in that kind of environment I guess. Unfortunately I suppose not everyone is as blessed as me. It's apparent that our children our being robbed of their innocence by parents and role models condoning ignorance and hatred instead of good solid morals and values. In an age where it's so hard to survive on your own, more and more parents are forced to take on 2-3 jobs at a time just to support their families. Although I don't view this as an excuse, I do realize that it is part of the problem. Families aren't as close knit as they used to be. TV, media, and mainstream society are raising our children to be monsters; Sex fueled, drug addicted, crime causing children. Children merely mimic the behavior that they see exhibited the most throughout their life. So if they have poor role models and don't have the right people to look up to; it's obvious where their lives will end up going. It's time for people to stand up, take their families back and start investing their time in others in a positive manner instead of being selfish and self absorbed. We have to stop being oblivious to the problems going on around us because, like my father always says, "Being like and ostrich and sticking your head in the sand isn't going to solve anything because chances are, when you finally decide to take your head out, the problem is still going to be there; and sometimes when you take your head out, depending on how long you hid away from that problem, it could have become bigger and much more worse then it was before you ran away from it." So people, teach you children that all humans are equal. I ask to any "Minority" (I put that in quotations because I don't believe there are minorities any more... that's just a stigmatized term to fuel segregation and racism into existence) to teach your children the meaning of equality, teach them that all humans no matter what creed or color are created equal. Stop bitching about people being racist when you are being a hypocrite. Practice what you preach and stop hating on a group of people when there are plenty people out there that accept you for you and not the color of your skin. I'm sick of hearing people complain about racism yet they turn around and do the exact thing they so strongly seem to oppose. Wake up and realize complaining never changed shit... words don't change things, actions do. So stand up America! Will the Human Race please stand up before we get caught up in the vicious cycle we're headed for. I just hope it's not too late...

I can't begin to wrap my mind around the way certain people think. It seems as if lately I've been running into more people who are complacent with just sitting around and doing nothing with their lives. I know I should just focus on myself and moving forward but I can't help but to be worried with the problems of the people I care about. One of my best friends who is pretty much family is dead set on going back onto the streets to hustle. It kills me because he reminds me of a big percentage of people my age that resort to hustling in the streets as opposed to getting their lives together and taking the right road. Sometimes because it's too hard and sometimes because their mistakes from the past have haunted them in a way that makes it impossible to think optimistically about the future. I've been through a lot myself in the past that could have affected how I think today. My past could have and for sometime did used to hold me back from moving towards a better future. However when I was able to acknowledge that the past cannot be erased and stopped obsessing about the things I could not changed I was able to move forward a lot easier. When you let yesterday determine your today and tomorrow you'll be stuck in the past forever and you'll be stuck in a mind frame that will suck you under like quicksand. Pessimism is the very attribute that keeps us as human beings bound in the cycles we fall victim to.