The concept of my story is to explain to readers that no matter what happens in your life you will always have a choice and what ever choice you make you have to ask yourself if you can live with it. I am an African American Muslim woman and I feel I have a lot to share with the world. So please take a trip with me into my life from the 70's when nigga's was really getting it and the broads was holding on making a place for themselves.
Introduction
Clinton State Prison for Women....
Babygirl from Camden New Jersey entered Clinton State Prison for Women at the age of 21 in 1975. She is about to be released, in hope that she will be an aid instead of a menace to the so called society. It is now 1978. Babygirl eases back into the cell which has caged her for 3years, with one more day and a wake up...a certain anxiousness comes over her as she sits down on the cot...Click the cell door locks, her mind and heart are racing, with thoughts of what's about to happen to her when she hits the outside world tomorrow.
Sitting here on this cot just got finished offering Salaat (Muslim Prayer). Three longgg short years in this joint, been locked down on top of locked up. Wondered many times if I was going to make it out, because anyone that's been behind these walls know how u can come in with just One year and wind up doing life. I know one thing never again, they gonna have to kill me for it's just to much control to give another person over your life with that knock out key they have, these fools got a god complex or something, always trying to control the life and that's 4-real Can't even ease out of here without drama, had to get locked in, word came down from Shorty that someone was going to try to make me blow my date. Wondering how I'm gonna fare up being Muslim on the outside, am I really gonna be true to it, while moving through or back to hustling being's I'm dead busted, not a dollar to my name right now. Then of course more than likely wind up right back here or dead, because it's all part of The Game...and that's the reality of it all. Are my priorities in check?
One thing for sure is we all got to die, and heaven and hell is for real and a very serious thing I'm wondering from which way the test are going to come at me. Would it be drugs, money, or men, then maybe it will be all of them? Well drugs were out, because we had more drugs in here at one time than they had on the streets so, if I wanted to do them, I would have done it. You see, being on the inside is like another whole world, anything and everything goes. I met some thorough people in here it's just the decisions that we make and the consequences that follow .It's just the life You see I'm the type that whatever it may be, I'm true to it and will die for it, if I'm not going to then I won't even get down on it or with it.
Had to get paroled to Steve slash/dad, no where else to go. He was SkitZen with me, I guess because the woman he'd brought back from Turkey that he once loved, left his tired lying behind. So he was at war with me seems like all my life. It was a luv hate jawn (thing) going on. Whenever he saw me, guess it was because they say I looked somewhat like her. I kept hearing that I had her ways didn't know how that could be but later on in life I found out why this was said, to be for real about it there's no love lost for none of them. I know one thing for sure, I'm not ready to lay down. So, I got to get down.
This was a trip, live and in living color with a three-D Nightmare to boot. U know Nanny once said by the time I was Twenty One years old, I'd be dead or in jail. Seems like I've been fighting all my life! Man this life is suffocating me, it only hurts when I breathe and I'm about to be out of breath, "Damnnnnn can I just liveeeee!" Lying back she trips into her past... Flash-back... Rewind Flip...... The Script...
