jai_stormy

So last night I got a call from my "father." I put it quotes because he's done nothing to deserve that title. He was wishing me a happy birthday even though my birthday was last week. He knows the issue i'm having with my cash flow, but he decided to rub in the fact that he was in some caribbean island laughing and living it up with his new wife. Why would you do that knowing the situation i'm in? Then he proceeds to degrade me as usual for no reason. After hanging up with him, i felt an emotion that i've never felt before. Hate. I tried to fight back tears when speaking to my mother. I was so enraged, that i couldn't even finish what I was doing. I dropped everything and went to my bed room and just cried because i was so angry.

This man all my life has insulted, call me out my name, and degraded me but when he gets old he wants me to take care of him. I have a half sister whos a complete screw up but she gets everything. I had to take out loans for college and still try to pay them off, he didn't help me with anything. Not even a book. Her mother could pay for her education with one check but desides she wasn't going to. So, he pays for everything. That hepha screwed up in school. I remember while in college, I just needed $50 from him to finish paying for a book. I had worked off and on that summer, wherever i could find work to pay for my books. Everyone knows that as you get deeper in your major, the books start costing more. So a week before class, the professor decides to change the text. The one he chose cost more money and all I needed was $50 more. My mom and aunts were tapped out, both of my brothers were also in college and were paying rent and bills. So, on that friday I asked him for it with a promise to pay it back. He told me that he didn't have any money which i knew as a lie. So, i went to class and got chewed out by my professor for not having the text and not being able to complete the first three assignments. One of my brothers gave me the money mid week, but he had to sacrifice paying one of his bills. He decided to call me that next friday to "hang out" on saturday with him and my step sister. I said ok for some strange reason. So on saturday,we stop at some store and i noticed her shoes. She told me that "daddy" just got it for her that last saturday, the day after I asked him for money for my book. He said he didn't have money, but he could buy her a $200 pair of shoes. I was so pissed off that I asked to be taken back to my dorm immediately. I've never forgotten that.

So he gets married, which whoever the woman is must not be classy or respectable because she married him. No matter what kind of woman she is, he just doesn't deserve to be happy, ever.He calls and tells me that he's gotten married like three weeks after its happened and once again he's on some caribbean island. My brother and i weren't even invited. Rewind it back a few months before that. I called him because he left some message on my machine. She answers, i told her who i was, she proceeds to cuss me out saying that i wasn't his daughter. According to what he told her, he only has one, and she knows her. I had to set her straight. What kind a man doesn't tell his girlfriend the truth about his children ? He completely left out that he had two children before he had my half sister and before he even met her. I have his last name, but recently he sent me something with my first name on it, but instead of putting the last name i've been using my whole life, he puts my mothers maiden name on there. So now i'm not his child. But still when he gets older, he wants me to take care of him. No way!!! Even on my college graduation day, he manages to turn a joyous occation into a sad one. I should have been crying tears of joy, instead i was crying tears because of all the hurtful things he's said to me.

Men just don't care what effect they have on people. They do things to hurt or get back at the mother, but don't realize that it hurts the child. We remember those things and end up harboring so much hate in our hearts that it effects how we relate to other people. Then the men want to know why the children grow up hating and having no respect for them.

So guys, especially those with daughters, get it together. Even if you don't get along with your babies mother, be there for your child. Be kind and loving to them. Show up to every event, no matter how small or big it is. Tell your child how special they are and smart they are and also that you love them. Because honestly, you don't want them to grow up angry like me.