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"WHY I SOLD OUT", is a saga of a black man (NOT MYSELF FOR THOSE WHO DON`T PAY ATTENTION) who states he no longer dates sisters because of severaldifferent reasons (earlier addition of my page carried the story. Below is the follow-up response to his statements. Please take the time to read and if you feel it necessary, respond.



"I would like to start by saying that I read the brother s?comments and I sympathize with him. It must have been hard for him not being man enough to handle a situation that he felt was getting out of control. No matter what the race of a woman, she is still a lady, a human & an individual. There will be times that she, being the individual that she

is, having lived her own life up to that point without your input will

have a different take on what is happening. If you are a black man then you know that as a black woman, she will be more likely to stand firm to her view. If the woman is white then you should know that she will more then likely state her case, but will allow your voice to rise higher then hers. If the woman is of Asian decent, then you would find that more often then not, she will let you speak, and find another way of get her point across rather then argue the point.



My point here is not to kick Mr. Stephen Willis s hard times at Black

High, but to put out some of the misunderstandings that he has

spouted about the women that have raised him as well as me. He points out that he has had the misfortune of dating nothing but trouble making, over spending, loud talking black women. He also feels that black women are not as refined

as white women. True he may not have used those words but that s what

it boils down to. The view that no matter who he dates in the black

community she will put him down, over talk him, try to spend his money, take every opportunity to make a fool of herself & outright make his dating a black women experience a tragedy, is a dream not reality.No collective group of

women would spend that much time and energy plotting on a man. The thing to look at is the way woman respond to you.



Before I get to what I feel is the meat of the problem that Mr. Willis

is having with black women, I would like to put my fist in the air for

black power. For it is the power of black women that has helped to get us where we are today. If the queen, Ms. Rosa Parks never put her foot down on that bus many years ago, would the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. have ever gotten to organize

one of the most successful non-violent protest in history. If Black women hadn t held strong to their belief in family even under the strain of slavery, would you and I even be here today? If Mr. Willis s own mother hadn t stood by her

husband and helped him to stand tall as he work hard as a custodian to

provide for his family, would their son have been so successful in his

career? No one can say where we (the black community) would be today if

we had the backing of white women in place of the strong black women that

we are accustom to but I would guess that things would be a lot different.



One thing to remember is that true strength is something that you are

born with, the ability to lead is a gift, you either have it or you don t. With that being said, that one statement is where I feel Mr. Willis is having his true problem with black women. You see in dating black women a man?has to know that she is not going to go along with every thing he says merely because he is the man. No, our mothers didn t rise our sisters to think

like that. The sisters of today are different from our mothers and aunts but then we (black men) are different from our fathers and uncles. I just thank God that one thing hasn t changed in our black women, their strength. No matter

what you think of this new wave of women, you still know that they have

the strength to help a new nation of blacksto stand to their feet. As a

black man that looks to lead a line of black women you must, and I mean must, know where your woman is coming from and how to deal with her. If for some reason she is feeling less then beautiful in a crowd of white faces then it is

solely up to you to reinforce to her that she is the queen of the universe and that there is not a creature on this earth that out shines her beauty. If your woman, at dinner has a dispute with a waiter, it is up to you, the man to ensure that she remains in the lady mode as you, if necessary, put your foot down on her behalf. You see in

order for a man to look to successfully date the strongest woman on earth, he himself must be strong or risk the feeling that she is too much for him to handle and thus look to partner with a weaker woman. So Mr. Willis, it is unfortunate that you had your problems dating black women, I sympathize with you only because you didn t react properly to the

given situations, and so in your short comings have missed out on all the love that our sisters have to give. If you ever find yourself graced with the presence of a woman of color, try this next time. If she says something that you do not agree with, wait until the two of you are alone to call her on it. Never try to talk down to a black women in public, the outcome will NEVER be

in your favor. If you are with a women and all she does is spend her

money without regard to how her bills will be met then run brother, this is a gold digger and she may look for you to bail her out. This kind of woman(and I use the word loosely),is not a strong woman and we as black men need strength on our back not weight. As for the comment of running your fingers through her hair, that will always be a no, no. The way around thisis to let

her know that you love the feeling of your fingers in her hair and most

importantly that you will pay for her to get her hair redone (after all this is most often more then a two hour trip). Okay this one I shouldn t have to tell you being that you are a big boy but with women good sex or should I

say great sexis 85 if not 95% mental and 5% physical. If you get in your woman s head she will do more then you think she will, ever woman has a little freak in her and most have a lot... The thing is, it takes the right man to bring it out of her. The most important thing to remember is that just as you are out in this world trying to make your way, she is having to work twice as hard to get half your pay. So keep your head up when dealing with her and ensure her that you are by her side and you will know what a

great advantage your father had in your mother.



I could go on about this topic but I think I have gotten my point across. My comments are my own and I can handle any responses good or bad".



Please be blessed and try to love each other?

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