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    knotty_thoughts

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  • Member Since:

    December 02, 1999

  • Real Name::

    mr knotty thoughts

  • Sex:

    Male

  • Dating Preference:

    Female

  • Age:

    34

  • Relationship Status:

    Single

  • Last Login:

    Yesterday

  • Education:

    Bachelor's Degree

  • Location:

    Brooklyn, NY

  • Race:

    Black/African American, Native American

  • Zodiac:

    Pisces


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personal message



there is much to discover

within my depths

if you can breathe under

pressure...









http://www.myspace.com/gerrenl


sometimes, something happens that blinds you from all else in your life. could be a challenge. could be a job. could be love. however, it is this blindness that allows ourselves to see ourselves more clearly. I am at times a poet. other times a poem, meant to be read. philosophical. illogical. a tumbleweed that seems to catch favorable winds. the nomad who finds an ocean in the desert. swimming upstream always. .. okay... getting off the stage... I'm a teacher out of Brooklyn, NY. third grade. have you recovered from disbelief of a male teacher? lol I'm everything I appear to be, and not what you seem. pretty laid back, with an occasional flair for dramaticism. although I'm pretty focused on my career path, I can very much use a distraction from my everyday. I am a published author of poetry, On The Road to Damascus. check the website... I've learned recently that the biggest deterrent to my achieving recognition has not been fear of failure, but fear of success. I have pretty much achieved anything I had my heart set on, but now, some goals require more time and effort.



this is my blog from my trip to Amsterdam. I don't feel like erasing it lol... 3/11...

Amsterdamned...


... it`s been about four days now since I`ve returned from my trip to Amsterdam (the Netherlands) and I`m still taking the experience in. I study capoeira, and our group CapoeiraBrasil was hosting a women`s conference there. Men were allowed to attend also, but the focus was on showing how dynamic women in capoeira are. it was my first time crossing the atlantic. there were about 8 of us from New York, I was the only male in the crew.

... as an american, and an african-american at that, I got there with certain perceptions, philosophies, and expectations that were totally shattered. it took a minute to slow my "rushing, time conscious" New Yawk mentality to really observe. first off, there were more black people there than I imagined. what was funny about that was, having the psychological effects of the slavery experience, I was looking for some solidarity between us. but to them, I was just a normal person, which was unnerving at first, but understood. they don`t have the hang-ups that we have based on color. this one girl who trained capoeira, she told me her nickname in the group was "Little Black Girl". that was disconcerting for me at first because here in America, it was having a demeaning undertone, but I realized that it was what made her special to her group and that there was no malice in it.

even more shocking to me was my experiences with white people. again, being here in america, I`m used to tension between whites and blacks, as well as stereotypes that come with our race. I found it amazing that as I walked down the street, no white women clutched their purses or moved over to avoid me lol. I met some rude people, but I think it is based on them just being rude, not because of disdain for my skin.

Amsterdamn itself... it`s clean, it`s reasonably modern with a vintage architecture. I loved the public transportation system there. I didn`t like the food so much. although, ironically, there are NO fat people in Amsterdam. and I think it`s because everyone there rides bikes lol. seriously, the streets have bike lanes withtheir own stop lights lol.

ok, fine, i`ll get to the weed and prostitutes... lol

it was amazing to walk into a cafe and be handed a menu on weed lol. mind you, I`m not going to incriminate myself or my peoples on here. but we had a really good time. because I`m such a philosophical and mentally driven person, my experience at the Red Light District had more of a research element to it than enjoying it for carnal reasons (although, gah damn it the women were hooooooooooooot!!) I mean, they aren`t like our crackhead prostitutes here in America. they even pay taxes. one guy said it best," we dont` have guns or serial rapists here in Amsterdam because the prostitutes provide a release for them." I got to talk to a few (just talk lol). they charged about 50 euros for 20 minutes. I guess that`s good. I don`t know the going rates on hookers. as one woman said, "relax, it`s just sex".

mercury in retrograde resulted in my flight being canceled the day I was supposed to leave, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because they put us up in a fancy hotel with dinner and breakfast and I got to spend another night out there. again, truly amazing and blessed.

now that I know there is more of a world to explore, I`m going to do just that. I would like to visit a few more countries before deciding if I want to teach abroad or possibly leave America for good. I will also need to get a few more languages under my belt. everyone there spoke at least 2 languages lol. there is so much more to delve into, including how the trip has changed my expectations on relationships with women, but that will be another time. or at least, an IM conversation. now, I`m very very broke now, so if I am ever go out on a date with anyone at this time, I would hope that y`all treat lol. but I have the memory, and the inspiration to create new memories, that will last me a lifetime. peace.


- excerpt from Merlin

by gerren liles


ironic

that lust

wouldsit between us

on a loveseat...



with curiosity as its canvas

it began drawing

my attention

away from Survivor castaways

to the Sunday morning scent

that called for worship

at your temple

you had no baggage

only brown paper eyes

carrying warm dreams freshly prepared

the night before

youopened them just a little

to allow the smoke

fromcocoabuttah caresses

to whet my appetite

"patience..." was your mantra

not exactly the answer I was looking for

your chastity, while alluring

did nothing to dissuade

the predator in me

&

there is no luck

in reluctance










7:10am
by gerren liles


1.


possibility
is the golden ray
gently waking me from onedream
to another
you are a rainbow in earth tones
whose beauty is a winding road
with no beginning or end


2.


I stand on the uneven pavement
awaiting a kind word
a smile
a gesture
to pick me up and take me
where the wildthings are...
where your stare
can tempt the prudish oak
to slip out of its winter coat
&
your deepest desires
adorn tribal paint
armthemselves with spears
to scare away the unworthy
& yet
my kisses will smear the paint
my arms will wrest all doubts
& when
you are surrounded
by flesh and breath
your moans will rise
above the evening mist
like a white flag...

surrender to me

as I havealready
to you


3.


it is not that I am shy

but
do you reach for the midnight sky
to bring forth the sun?

the dawn will come



good morning












- excerpt from on the road to damascus

by gerren liles


don`t tell me

I`m not somebody

the ancestor spoke of my greatness

from my play/pen

I watched my grandfather

spit history

into the wind

causinghope to precipitate

irrigating the minds

of ghettoblossoms

straying from

thesun

trying so desperately to die

not knowing that

Life

is inevitable...

metaphysics

&

metapoetry

were once taught

insecret schools

Imhotep

was the dean of students

the constellations

weremy professors

butI never liked night classes

never passed...

day-dreamed aLot

aboutleaving

Sodom and Gomorrah

butmy wife wasn`tsolucky

she looked back

turnedinto

a pillar

ofthewhite community

thinking it would grant her immunity

from the pressures

of being

black...














My name is Gerren Liles. I am a teacher, poet, and author out of Brooklyn. My first collection of poetry, On The Road To Damascus: Selected Poems, is available at book stores near you,or at Black Alchemist Press. If you are interested inhaving poets perform atyour college, university, festival, or poetry showcase, please contact me or visit the website.



on a more personal note, teaching is kicking my entire (&*^#$@#&. this is my life`s calling, but maaaaan LOL. right now, I am looking to just chill and have fun because my day-to-day is very stressful. dramatic, exciting, sure, but stressful.



------------------------





right now,my passions are in poetry,capoeira (see below),astrology click here to visit my astrology page on BP, women, and understandingpeople, romantically and socially. You can also check out

my poetry page. I am living and loving life, in spite of the many hardships that have befallen me this year.










ON THEROAD TO DAMASCUS: Selected Poems

byGerren Liles

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