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A Little Bit About Me... Age: Old Enough To Know Better Located: Somewhere Around Atlanta Hometown:St. Croix Marital Status: Single Zodiac Sign Sagittarius Height: Over 6` Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Do You Have A Babymama: No, But You Can Leave Your Application Favorite Quote: You Couldn`t Be A Better Player Than Me Favorite Food: Melts In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand Favorite Color: Blue Favorite Music: Hip Hop, Reggae, R&b Favorite Drink: Malibu Heaven Sexual Position: Just Ask Me Job:  Food For Haterz Why do some people on bp have names that just doesn`t fit them. Example like sexycarmel anbe black as hell. Next topic webcams. They need to ban or make some kind of law or do something to stop some people from using webcam. Stuntin Like My Daddy What are CATS? Cats do whatever they want and you have no idea what they are thinking. They rarely listen to you. They`re totally unpredictable. They whine when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater totheir every whim. They`re moody. They leave hair everywhere. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg. CONCLUSION: Cats are little women in fur coats. What are DOGS? Dogs lie around all day,sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture they`re allowed to sit on. They can look dumb and lovable all atthe same time. They growl when they are not happy. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don`t listen to you when you`re in the same room. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They are great at begging. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then kiss you. CONCLUSION: Dogs are little MEN in fur coats. Black For 5 Minutes A little white boy was watching his mother in the kitchen making a chocolate cake from scratch. While the mother had her head turned, the little white boy went to the table, dipped both hands in the chocolate frosting and covered his face with it. The mother turned around to see what the boy was doing and said "Boy, what the hell are you doing? The son gleefully replied "Look, Mama! I`m black!!!" The mother became enraged and slapped the crap out of her son. She then said "boy, go show your father what you`ve done! The boy then walked into the den where his father was reading and said "Look Daddy! I`m black!!" The father put his magazine down with a very puzzled look on his face (from seeing the chocolate on the boy`s face.) The father said "Come here, boy!" The boy came to him and the father smacked his son across his head. The father angrily said "Now go show your grandpa what you`ve done!!!" The boy then slowly walked to his grandpa who was on the porch and said Um...Grandpa.Look what I did. I`m black now" The grandfather said gruffly "COME HERE BOY!" The grandfather took the boy over his knee and proceeded to spank him. "That`ll teach you! Now go back in the kitchen with your mama!!! The boy walks back in the kitchen and the mother said "I hope you`ve learned your lesson, young man!" The boy says with a scowl on his face "Hell yeah! I`ve been black for 5 minutes and I hate you white motha%#&@$!a`s already! One Day At The Doctor`s Office... An elderly couple showed up at the doctor`s office together one day. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "We`d like you to watch us have sex, and make sure everything`s all right." The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There`s nothing wrong with the way you have sex, everything`s fine." He charged them $50 and they went on their way. The next week, they showed up again, with the same request, and the next week, and several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We`re not trying to find out anything. She`s married and we can`t go to her house. I`m married and we can`t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $109. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare!!!" WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses. I thought the results were pretty interesting: 25% of women think their %#&@$! is too fat... 10% of women think their %#&@$! is too skinny... 8% of women thing their %#&@$! is too ugly... The other 57% say that they don't care; they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway... TRUE PLAYA??? ONE EVENING MIKE WENT OVER HIS FRIEND TERRY`S HOUSE TO PLAY CARDS WITH SOME FRIENDS. MIKE SAT DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM TERRY`S WIFE. MIKE DROPPED A CARD ON THE FLOOR AND BENT DOWN TO PICK IT UP. WHEN HE LOOKED ACROSS THE TABLE HE SAW THAT TERRY`S WIFE HAD HER LEGS OPEN AND NO PANTIES ON. HE SAT UP AND WAS FLUSHED. HE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO GET A DRINK OF WATER. TO HIS SURPRISE TERRY`S WIFE HAD FOLLOWED HIM INTO THE KITCHEN AND SAID, "DID YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SAW"? MIKE SAID YES I DID. SHE SAID, "WELL YOU CAN GET MORE THAN THAT BUT IT WILL COST YOU $500". SO MIKE THOUGHT ABOUT HIS FINANCIAL SITUATION AND SAID O.K.. SHE SAID SO MEET ME HERE TOMORROW AT 2:30 BECAUSE TERRY WILL BE AT WORK THEN. MIKE SAID, "I`LL SEE YOU THEN". THE NEXT DAY, MIKE CAME OVER, THEY HAD SEX, HE PAID HER, THEN HE LEFT. LATER TERRY CAME HOME AND SAID, "HAS MIKE BEEN OVER HERE TODAY"? SHE SAID THINKING SHE HAD BEEN CAUGHT, "AS A MATTER OF FACT, YES. TERRY ASKED, "DID HE LEAVE $500?" SHE SAID AS A MATTER OF FACT HE DID. TERRY SAID, "GOOD BECAUSE THAT FOOL CAME BY MY JOB THIS MORNING AND ASKED TO BORROW $500 TILL THIS EVENING, AND SAID HE WOULD LEAVE IT WITH YOU. Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am older I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through PMS is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people. Lesson to the ladies make sure the vehicle is clean 1st!! So, your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing. You`re okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night. At around 4 am you hear her stumble into bed. You wake up the next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night. You are happy to see it all in one piece, but, wait a minute.........  The Penis I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1. I do physical labor. 2. I work at great depths. 3. I plunge head first into everything I do. 4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. 5. I work in a damp environment. 6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation. 7. I work in high temperatures. 8. My work exposes me to diseases. Response: Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons: 1. You do not work 8 hours straight. 2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period. 3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations. 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. 7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. 8. You will slow down before you are 65. 9. You find it difficult to work double shifts. 10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. 11. And, if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. stay tuned   |
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