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I am going to express to everyone how I am feeling this morning. I woke at 4:30 this morning with an awful feeling of dread. I propped myself up, popped in "Waiting to Exhale", and started writing. We as women sit around with our girls and discuss our experiences, failures, dreams, and expectations over pink panties and our favorite meal. But do we really know what we want or what we're looking for in a mate and our relationships? Most importantly, are we ready to accept what we ask for? Truthfully I know I am!!!!



I've spent the last 4 and a half years with someone that hurt me in every possible way there is to destroy a person. I don't regret anything that I went through with this person, because they helped mold me to the woman that I am today both positive and negative. To this day I would do anything for that person if they needed me. That's how much love I have for him. I can't hate them for what they put me through because it's helping guide me to what I do and don't want in a relationship. But there comes a point in life where you grow, change and view your self under a different light.



I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of sitting around with my girls having long conversations about men, relationships, sex and life as a whole. What puzzles me is while listening to my close friends and sisters' talk about what we want in a man, how we want a man who will treat us right and please our every need in every possible way. It dawned on me this morning that none of us stated that we're ready for and able to accept what we desperately ask for.



So ladies, here me out for a second. Why do men get so frustrated with us when in comes to trusting them and being able to give them our all? I'm not trying to say that men don't experience heartbreak, but women tend to take the lashing and real nasty side of starting over alittle harder. I have to admit this, I was one of those women who labeled men in the same category: dogs, players, pimps, no good dogs, %#&@$!s and any other nasty name you can think of. Sometimes I still do. I always come across men who feel like lying instead being completely honest (keep it 100) will hinder them, but in all actuality it will really benefit them in the long run. Remember this saying "What you do in the dark always comes out in the light."


So why pretend to be ready for something that you have no intentions to really pursue or may not be ready for. Lets think we're all young, career orientated, educated black individuals trying to find that perfect match in every way: spiritual, mentally, physically, sexually(whichs plays a huge part now), and emotionally. So really there is nothing wrong with dating around as long as both parties has that open understanding. Maybe it's just me and I expect that fairytale story with that happy ending, but really I'm not expecting much, but unconditional love, loyalty, honesty and true happiness.


I've learned don't start out giving so much of yourself to a person. You have to see if that person deserves you and what you have to bring to the table. Remember ladies, you cannot jump from person to person and think that everything is going to work out just fine. You have to figure out and decide the kind of guy do you want, one that is going to bring positive oomph and good things to your life. Don't settle for less, every GOOD woman deserves a GREAT man!!! I know I do and I'm willing to wait for him!!! ?