12-05-2010 Today has been a wonderful day.Spent with family both during and after church. Then some football and a good movie. Waiting to take an exit exam tomorrow and final exams on wednesday. I can't wait for the break, praying to pass all my classes and the exit exam.
Today I am reflecting. Today would have been my wedding anniversary, and it is funny that I am really truly over a man that I thought at one time I would love forever. I thank God for always keeping me through it all. God continually blesses me in life. Even when it looks like there is no possible way to make it through, He holds my hand and walks with me through the storm!!! Hallelujuh, Thank You Jesus for all of your grace and mercy!!!!!
My job is ending on June 30th. But I am not sad. I see this as a new beginning. A chance to get back into school, possibly actually working in the medical field helping people where I truly want to be. I thank God for every day, and every change. The stress and drama of that place are gone.
Sorry I hadnt updated since thanksgiving. Things were fast and furious during the holidays. I am just working and praying for change in my life. God is bringing that my way. In the last 2 months three people i cared for deeply have returned to my life. People I never thought i would see again. But they are here. God brings what you need when you need. A breath of fresh air. I am grateful for all the things that God has done. So grateful for the victories we have won. Thank you heavenly father for all your grace and mercy.
I am thankful. On this wonderful day that God has made, let us give Him thanks for blessing & keeping us this year. Pray today for family, friends & the world.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
Time to make a new change. Growth through Jesus Christ. My life has been in turmoil for the past few months to the point of it affecting my health. But my prayers are being answered. The stress is leaving, the weight is leaving and even my hair is doing better. I am waiting on God to completely heal me. I had been involved in the past 3 yrs with two men. The first i loved dearly, but he had too many things going on and then suddenly no time for me. So we ended our relationship. I had a tough time getting over it but i finally did. But then the back and forth between us trying to reconcile took its toll on me. The friend that was there to help me through, i got involved with. Tried not to fall for him but i did. And for almost 2 yrs we would see each other off and on. I had to let that go also. Kept the friendship but couldnt continue the relationship. I wanted more that he was offering me. I care deeply for both, but i know in my heart that I have to take time for me. Get to know me again. not rush into another relationship again. I am happy with me. I am a beautiful woman with a loving heart and i know that everything i desire will come. That God is fixing me from the inside out and outside in.
Heart Break
Why does a person come in your life only to hurt you in the end. They tell you you are the one they love when truthfully they only love themselves. Dont understand the harm they cause with one simple lie from their lips. It is not enough that they have already caused you too much pain, that they wont leave, still trying to hang around and call and text you. Why is it so hard for them to just walk away and stop causing pain. You do all that you can to move on, but your heart is tied to them. You cant break free, because they are ever present in your mind, your heart and as deep as your soul.
You feel that everything is getting better as long as you are not around them, but when you hear their voice, see their face, or just remember a time you spent together it all comes back. Over and over again you tell them goodbye, but your heart wont let go. How do you release what you thought was love? How do you heal if the source of your pain is ever present in your life? How do you allow anyone else in your heart when the last person wont go away? Can you please tell me how to get over the heart break that love has brought my way?
March 3, 2008 10:05 pm
Something a friend sent me back in 1999 when i was really going through.
Thank you g_man1063 for helping me through
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul. Without these small test, whatever they maybe, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.
Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
1/1/2008
Love lost
Finally, truth comes in my life.
What i thought was sincere was all a lie.
My heart believed and trusted and crushed from his eyes.
He said he loved me and wanted me to be his bride. Now he says that it was all a lie.
I was sad at first, but now i rejoice. God removed him from my life.
He is not meant for me, for if he were, he wouldn't have hurt me this is what i know.
God forgive me for making him a god. For worshiping and serving someone i thought i loved.
I know that you are a jealous God and punished me for my mistake. I pray your forgiveness.
And thank you for the pain.Because through this Lord you gave me strength.
The man you have for me you will send.He will be your man , one that loves me for me.
The beautiful woman that You created, when you created me. My tears will then be tears of joy.
For God you loved me and didn't want me harmed. Thank you heavenly Father for all that you've done, removing the pain, hurt and scars.
10/9/2007
Can You?
Can you think of me and not want to touch me?
Can you see me and not want to kiss me?
Can you hold me and not make love to me?
Can you look into my eyes and tell me you care?
Can you?
11/28/07
Just the thought of you...
Just the thought of you brings light to my eyes.
Just the thought of you makes my heart fly.
Just the thought of you my soul begins to sing.
Just the thought of you makes my life so sweet. 6/23/07
I am letting go of you and me, a love that seems it was never meant to be. Goodbye my love I hope you find what you are looking for so that you will never have to let go.
The One I Loved 4/19/2007
Pain, hurt, grief and sorrow
all the things you brought when you came into my heart.
Anger, Hate, Violence and Death
the feelings you left with my heart .
Regretting the day i met you, hating the way I loved you.
Wishing I could go back to the day before you came into my life.
"Crisis"
Crisis in my life had to turn to the one who suffered anguish and strife. Strained a little bit like Paul, but Jesus let me know He was my all and all. He showed me sadness, then He introduced me to gladness. He showed me sorrow, then He let me know He was my hope for tomorrow. He let me fall, so that I would know He was my all and all, and He gave me a song, in the midst of a storm. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. If we never have any rain, then we would never grow, grow, grow, grow. If we never have any rain then we would never grow. And He gave me a song, in the midst of a storm.THe tempest was raging in my life, the billows were tossing high. But God, He reached down, further than I could reach up and He gave me, gave me a song in the midst of a storm.
-Donald Lawrence
See with your heart
In your heart, you know what is right and what is wrong. You know what will ultimately move you ahead and what will hold you back. Though you may be very good at rationalizing against it, the truth is evident when you make the effort to look for it. Though others may be skilled at talking you out of it, you know what is best for your life.
Go with your heart. Listen to that voice inside you, the one which makes the most sense and which, in retrospect, is almost always right. In a world where deceit too often is just another strategy, develop a habit of seeing the truth with your heart and not just your eyes.
No matter who else might want to take credit for it, the fact is that you have succeeded in bringing yourself this far. And you are the person best equipped to move yourself positively into the future. The value of your life experience is not only in your mind. It is embedded in your heart. Look at the world with all the good that is within you, and you will see it with sparkling clarity. Author Unknown
MY BIRTHDAY APRIL 17TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
Got a new baby boy born 2/26/07 @ 8:04 pm!!!!!!
and no he is not mine, he is my nephew. Picture of him and his big brother below.
I WANT TO LOVE YOU 2/24/07
I want to love you like there is no tomorrow.
To love you with all that I am and give you all of me.
You brought life to the music in my soul.
I Loved You 12/31/06
I loved you in a way that i have never loved another.
I loved you mind, body and soul.
I loved you till my heart bled when u cut it with your lies.
I loved you so, that my tears won't stop falling now that we aren't together.
My heart now knows so much pain, something that I never thought I would feel with you in my life.
You were my friend, my love, my life.
Unforgettable 12/14/06
The first time I saw you.
The first time I looked into your eyes.
The first time you touched me.
The first time you kissed my neck.
The way you kissed my lips.
The fire you caused when you touched my heart.
The love you made the first time we connected.
the pain that remains since you broke my heart.
The loneliness I feel when I remember you,
The sadness that is here because I still love you.
To Love No More
When you love someone and they break your heart, you vow to never let them in your heart again.
But, true love always finds away to open the door you swore that they could never open again.
Once there again the second time, they make promises, and tell lies, and there goes your heart again, crushed and bruised beyond repair.
This time you promise to never love again. To never allow the person, or any person for that matter, hurt you again.
The pain is too great from the first go round and worse when you fall again and they let you down. And with this you never want to feel this pain so you vow deep inside to never love again
NUDGE THE BALANCE
A 91-year-old woman died after living a very long dignified life. When she met God, she asked Him something that had really bothered her for a very long time. "If Man was created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"
God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. It is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people and our relationships with God. This confused the woman, so God began to explain:
"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.
When someone steals from you, it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it's the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.
When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life's experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is Man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control."
Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there are no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God replied that Man's capacity to love is the greatest gift He has. At the root of kindness and love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson. The woman's curiosity deepened. God, once again began to explain:
"When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.
When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!"
Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the right direction!
-- Author Unknown --
I have officially graduated college!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The Mender"
I`m reminded of a story, of a man who sat on a wall. THis old man, had a great fall. All the king`s horses and all the king`s men could not put this fellow back again. Yet I know one who, can mend a broken heart. Turn a life around. The lost can now be found. Said I know one who can put the broken pieces together again. Jesus Christ the mender of all men.
If you`re ever torn apart and in your hands you`re carrying your heart, give it to Jesus. There`s healing in His wings. Jesus Christ can do anything. But I know one who can mend a broken heart. Turn a life around. The lost can now be found. Said I know one who can put the broken pieces together again. Jesus Christ the mender is my friend.
So i`m gonna tell everyone, you can make it. I`ve got to tell the down and out, you can make it. I`ll tell everyone, you , you , you can make it. Even if the doors are closed in your face, I know you can make it.
With Jesus Christ the mender of all men, Jesus Christ the mender is my friend.
-Donald Lawrence/Rodney Posey
GOD and SINGLEHOOD
Everyone longed to give himself or herself completely to someone - to have a deep soul exclusively. But God says to Christian, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being lovedby Me alone. I love you, my child. And until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop wishing, stop planning, stop dreaming, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things-keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing thatI Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Don`t be anxious. Don`t worry. Don`t look around at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don`t look at the things you think you want. You must keep looking off and away-up to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you. And then, when you`re ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you could dream. You see-until you are ready and until the one I have prepared for you is ready (I am working on that right this minute to have you both ready at the same time),until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have planned for you, you won`t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me-and this is perfect love. And dear one, I want to see you in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly.I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."-Author Unknown
Be sure to sign my guest book while you re here. I will be sure to return the love!!
You are Psalms.
Which book of the Bible areyou?brought to you by Quizilla
THE LOVE WITHIN
The amazing thing about love is we cannot see it with the naked eye, but it can leave us blind to what we really see, because we are seeing from within. We cannot touch it with our hands, but we can feel its presence within. We cannot smell itwith our noses, but the flavor lingerswithin. Our ears cannot hear it, but we know when it is close from within. We cannot taste it with our taste buds, but we can tell whether it has gone sour or if it is still sweet from within.
Love seems to affect all of our senses indirectly. It appears to be uncontrollable in nature. What man's hands can not touch, eyes can not see, ears can not hear, or mouth can not taste, he can not control nor prevent. It's crazy in a way, man feels all the senses when in love, and although none of our actual human senses have an effect on love. Love produces the senses we feel, but our senses do not affect our love.
Sex feels good but it does not produce love, a person may look good but attractiveness does not produce love, etc. We try to substitute these feeling for love but end up feeling empty. Even though outside forces affect our senses, it does not affect our love. For example, we can see our love ones cheating and yet we still love them, they say things and do things that hurt us and yet we still love them... when we are full of love, we are left blind to our surroundings and circumstances. We feel what we did not touch and try to believe it was there. We hear lies and try to make them the truth, even though we know they are not.
There comes a time in everyone's life when love has run its course. It has been wrong for so long that our eyes begin to open, our ears hear nothing but lies, and loves taste is bitter to the soul, we are unable to digest it anymore. Love begins to have a foul smell because it is rotting away in our minds. We cannot bear to look upon it, because the sight of it rotting sickens us. Other things and persons, who never interest us before, now appeal to us and have our attention.
What use to be our way becomes my way. Our feelings for that person become numb, cool, and void. I guess you can call it a love execution. Like a criminal being executed for his crime, love is being executed for its doings. Love has been charged with: making us blind, making us feel what was not there, making us do what we did not want to do, and for not giving us control. So we pretend that love is dead, although love has no blood to bleed or body to destroy. It seems the more we had sacrificed while in love, the easier it is to let love go.
Love becomes a memory of what we had, the good times and the bad times, and still we cannot control it that controls us from within.
11/18/04
It has now been a year since my divorce and my life has changed. Currently back dating. Time to have someone that i can share my love and life with. I am waiting for God to send the right man my way. I know that everything good will happen for me. All that i need will be here with God`s blessing.
10/21/04
It has been a year since my divorce was filed. I can say that it has been a learning, and growing experience. To learn that you can never let anyone make you feel that you are not worth anything, when it is truly their own self doubt that makes them run from anything remotely showing honesty and love. Someone that can`t be truthful to save their own life. I know that I am a beautiful, smart, and loving woman that deserves more out of life than a liar and a cheater. I thank God for getting me beyond all the pain my divorce caused me.
1/9/04
It is a new year and first I would like to thank everyone that had encouraging words for me during this time of sadness. My divorce was final on November 17, 2003. It was hard but I am better. I know that life goes on and that is what I am doing. Still praying that God keeps me in perfect peace.I know that right now I am dealing with a lot but I am doing better. Trying to move on. Trying to get my ex out of my life. He doesn'tseem to want to totally let go. I need him to. Cutting all ties. Noconversation needs to happen between us any longer. I have decided to start going out again. To do things that I enjoy. My life is moving in the right direction. Towards happiness and joy with me as the main focus. My beautiful girls keep me smiling now. I thank the Lord above for them and my life. I will always praise God in all things that happen in my life. I know that He has always kept me and always blesses me.
11/25/03
Sunday for me was a new beginning. I prayed that God take the burdens of my divorce and husband and fight that battle for me. When I left church I was able to smile again and felt so much better. The divorce will be final soon. I am ready for whatever life throws my way. I havebeen through the fire and will come out as pure gold.
10/20/03
It is done. God's will is what I want for my life. Not sure anymore what has happened to make my life so hard. Haven't been able to eat or sleep. Do not know what Idid to have such a hard life. So many downs that it feels like I am drowning in my own life. I need to breathe again. To be free. To fly above the clouds. To take care of me for a change. I know the Lord will let me see the bright sunshine again. My faith in Him will lead me on the right path with all of the Joy I can handle.
10/11/03
My heart is crying. It is finally over. He left me crying, no way to dry my tears. My love for him is killing me, and he doesn't even know. Too much sadness for one soul to take. For all the years that I stayed and prayed have all gone to waste. Lord please help me. Without you I can't go on. Only you can see me through this dark valley that I trod. Only with God can I see the bright sunshine, where my tears will dry and my smile will return to greet a brand new me. Thank you God for never leaving me even though my husband chose to. I love you Lord with all my heart and soul forever more.
