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hi friends my name is mr dale felder i live in san francisco california, i came here in 1980, but i was born in kansas city mo, february 15,1957 to day is april 2012, so that makes me 55 years old so you do the math. ha ha and i know your probably riding high in the sky on a airplain and reading my book just to pass the time away. or just sitting in a starbucks coffee shop reading my book on your apple computer. having a quiet spiritrual moment with your self i hope so. now let me tell you about my lifes journey it starts in kansas city my mother and father met in the early 1950s and got marred. my brother was born 1955, then me and my other brother came later 1957, then my mother had a enlarged weak heart and she died when i was two years old. and a day after my mother died my father marred the 18 year old girl who lived up stairs from us in the apartment building. so she became my step mother and she would baby sit me and my brothers when my mother was sick in the hospital. i never knew my real mother the sound of here voice here touch but never the less my dear sweet mother's life did have a purpose. and shortly after my mothers death my father used her life insrurance policy to buy a two story house. now it's the year 1959 and were all living in this big house my mother's life payed for. and when i was a little boy i would all ways hear my step mother complaining about how she did'nt really love my father. and how she really wanted to marry her young boy friend when he got out of the army. but she marred my father to got a big house out of the deal. and now it's the early 1960s and my step mother is going to nursing school and it's time for me and my brother to start kindergarten. and i was to young to understand my father's abusive behavior. but i remember one early morning i was late getting up for kindergarten and it was winter time. and my father came in the house and kick the snow off his big rubber boots over the vint in the hallway. and was going to the bath room and my father screamed at my why you not ready for school?. and then he kick my little 4 foot tall body about 3 feet across the room and i landed on my %#&@$!. and then he siad to every time you not up for school i will beat you and from then on and all thru my child hood my father found some krazy mental retardant reason to kick and beat me around the house. and my step mother would go to her sister's house on her days off from work at the hospital. and she would take me and my brothers with her and it was sort of fun to go some where and my step mother was young party girl and she would have sex with other men when my father was at work and my father would have sex with other women and my father could'nt control my step mother from having sex with other men out side there marrage. so he beat her head in the hard wooden floor and it sound just like the floor was cracking open when my father was beating her head in the floor and the whole house would shake. now i want to tell you why my father was so abusive he was born in 1927, in the south, atlanta gaorgia and my father would tell us bits and pieces about his child hood in the south. he had two brothers and a sister, and when he was a boy he had to wear his older brothers hammy down shoes when his brother grow out of then and my father had to go bear footed to school all his child hood because they was to poor in the 1930s and he only went to the six grade because my father had to work in the cotton fields, water melon fields, he was used as child labor back in the 1930s and my fathers, father killed his mother and a black preacher and his wife took him and his brothers in there home and treated him bad. the south treated him bad all of his life and when he was 18 years old in the 1940s my father went to the army in paris and germany his job in the army was to unload the ships like tanks, guns, bombs,and the black men had the most deadliest job unloading the bombs from the ships. and when my father got out of the army ended up in kansas city, how? i dont know he never told us but kansas city must had been better then the south. because he got good job at a steel company in kansa city where he became forman and supervisor of that company and in remember in 1970 i was the 7th grade my father was in the hospital for about two weeks my step mother told us a steel wire went thru his chest in his lung. but i really think my father had to fire a man on the job and the stabbed my father in the chest. but my step mother never took us to see him in the hospital but i didn't care at that time. but all i know is i had a nice vacation from getting a beat down by him. when my father got out of the hospital his mental state of mind had got worst my fathers definitely had a mental problem he drank voka on his days off from work and beat me or he beat my step mother. but all i know is that some body in my house was going get beat down by my father. just for no reason at all or when he was having mental flash back about his jacked up life. my step mother would leave my father and go stay at her mothers house for about two weeks and our house would be real and my father didn't beat no any body the house whole time my step mother was gone. but after my father would be on the phone pleading to my step mother to come back so she came back and my father just black her eyes and break her bones agian and time my father stop my step mother from having sex with other men. so my father put her in a mental ward at the hospital. where she stayed for about two weeks and i remember it was in the spring of 1970 i think i was about 13 years old. my whole family is in our big green station wagon and my uncle gus was sitting in the front sit with my father. and my father just driving along and talking to my uncle gus and my father was swirling weaving the car in the street and driving krazy in the street and my father was trying to drive the car in the parking lot of the hospital but he couldn't get control of the steering wheel and my uncle gus had to grab the steering wheel and got in the drivers sit and finish driving in hospital emergency entrance and my nucle gus got my father in to the hospital and he layed him down on a one of those flat hospital beds in the hall way. and the hospital people was buzzin around in the hall ways of the hospital and it was taken such a long time for some to take care of my father. and while my father was laying on that flat bed his eyes were glassy and my fathers head was raised up. and he was looking into all our faces like it was the last time he was going to see us. like he was afraid he was going to die but i had mixed feeling what would my life be with out my father? but my father didn't die he stayed in a mental ward of the hospital for about two week. and our house was nice and quiet while my father was gone. so we all went to the hospital to visit my father and he look so pitiful with his head in his lap. so while my family was visiting with my father. i went walking aroud this big hospital just amusing myself and i saw a tray with a fresh jello and pudding cups on it. so i help myself to the goodies and since my father wasn't at home i could think to myself and it felt good and peaceful for a change in my life. and now im going to say this about my step mother she was a good mother and took good care of me and my brothers when we was sick because she was a nurse aid. and she tryed to create a sense of normalcy in our home and on christmas my step mother buy green christmas tree and sit it in the front room window and buy alot of gifts and rap them up real nice and holidays all the family came over to our house because we had the biggest house in the family and we had some really big family picnics at that house there was big tables out in the big back yard and my father would put the icecream machine together. and my step mother would make the ice cream mixture on the stove with eggs cream just all the stuff that make home made ice cream etc, and all the aunts and grand mothers would be there cooking and the weather would be hot but we all just having a good falmily time. things was not bad all the there were good time in my family but i just had to get the bad stuff out of my system and move of on with my life and my story. i like the early spring in that big house my step mother would all ways be cooking food when me and my brothers would come in from school. and he would be cleaning that house and all waxing the hard wood floors. and the scent of pinesal would fill the air and a cool gentle breeze would blow threw the open windows. after a early spring rain and make the flower printed curtains flap around and the white flower bushes in the front yard smell so sweet and love smelling the yellow and white honey suckle vine that grew in the back yard and littel thing like that made me feel happy and it's the the early 1970s im 15 years old and the family is loading up our belongings and moving to the suburbs pass 63 street where black people could not live in the 1950s and after the martin luther king roit white people start leaving the socalled white only neighhoods. and the black people start moving in socalled white neighhoods.and now our family is living in a new house in the suburbs it was small and had three small bed rooms and one littel living room and a small kichen. so now theres five of us living in this small house so i

(WELCOME TO MY WORLD)

IM DALE FELDER

IM A WRITER,AUTHOR, PHOTOGRAPHER,ARTIST

I LIVE IN SANFRANCISCO.CALIFORNIA

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