takeitaway |
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An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young
couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his
voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy
nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a
woman in years.
Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have
sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like
it. Our lives depend on it."
"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so
relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he
thinks you are really cute!"
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion
against thousands of others?
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected
you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the
doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt
you.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count
that high.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure
you have anywhere to put it!
'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is
on TV.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll
keep trying.
'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay
admission!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours
because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person
alive.
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be
murder; it would be genocide!
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone
who gives a damn.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and
lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
 
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