I am a ALPHA being if your looking for someone of less awareness of themselves keep going!
Live and be Loved
Life after my brother's murder has been hard, But we are all stronger than ever.. Life is what you make it. Keeping with my plan and moving forward.
R.I.P. JITZZZ your sister will always love you!!!! In this life I'm a lot of things being a mom and a sister are two of the biggest parts of me. All of my brothers are the loves of my life, and to have lost one in any matter hurts me dearly. But to have one murdered is even worse. Keep your family close!!
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, Enjoy it all good or bad. Why be buried by unhappiness , Smile at it, Laugh at it, But don't cry about i
Can you truely see me
Can you see me, what lies beneath me
Can you see, the fears under all my tears
Can you see, my devotion to only you
Can you see, my hearts only truth
Can you see, beyond the surface and outer being
Can you see, my strength in my eyes
Can you see, beyond the secrets I hold in side
Can you see, my dreams I only wanted to share with you
Can you see, the tears I only have shed for you
Can you see, underneath make-up and smile
Can you see, my heart longing for only you
Can you see, the real me, the loud me
Can you see, the strong me, the weak me, the quiet me
Can you see, deep off into my soul
Can you see, where I'm not whole
Can you see, where all your lies where told
Can you see, beyond the storm
Can you see, the beauty after the rain
Can you see, all my inner pain
Can you see, all the drama gone away
Can you see, the calmn feeling beyond the plain
Can you see, all the different parts of me
Can you see, without judging me
Can you, Can you, Can you
Can you say you see me, truely me only me
and with that let me be me....
So Into You an You know its true
As I stand here alone wondering and wanting to be dripping in your sweat. In need of your warmth that touch only you can give. The chills running down my back as we enter twine ourselves in this moment this moment that seems to last a life time.. Feeling every motion of you hearing every word in my ear..How I hate when your not near....Its getting harder and harder to breathe when you go..And I wonder is this really love is this really it alll that was wanted all that was needd.. In every stroke of you we become one being one heart beat one soul.. As the sweat builds as we merged into one not knowing whos is whos but that we created such a expression of love...THis moment only we share only we need only to see if this is what will be forever in you an me....How at every moment of my day all I want o do is be dripping in your sweat....
Twisted me Twisted you. How many webs we weave. How many times do we scream. Twisted me Twisted you. On the verge of destruction me and you. Both fighting for control of this, In what we created. Trying to merge two lives into one. Twisted me twisted you. The emotions boil over nothing is safe or sacred. We hold no punches no rules apply. Is this how you realy feel inside. ThisTwisted me Twisted you .. Oh what shall I do battling with you. Bloody pours like tearsand fears how twisted this all comes out. Dreams and passsions soar over every emotion even more... Twisted me Twisted you......
On the edge of reason..Searching for unfindable answers pondering and wondering. The mind soars passions flow. Dreams come and they go crumbling before us. What was and what will be never really interacting. Insanity only moments away in this moment. Try to apply my souls quest and keep above all else in the black merky water of life. I reason with myself to stay put grow with this moment. I breathe and an release the possiblities wondering where shall I go..On the edge of my own reason does this make sense. Will it come out right ?Whats encrypted inside? Was this the point I needed to come to open this door and close all others. Wondering souls coming in just to wonder out. Pulling you in some many directions...Driving the mind and the heart mad..Some souls like the chase then when its over its on its way..Others lerk in the back grounds with no intentions but cioas there only to bring your soul to its knees..Sorry not me can't step in the quick sand of anothers sad life....On the edge of my own reason the encrypted things my heart and mind cryout to me.....What else could this be but my own brink of insanity
I have submerged myself into myself only to emerge with great understanding. I push and fight for what I want even when what im fighting for isnt worth it. It is the fight I am so attracted to or trying to make the nothing into something. This does not only pretain to Love this is Life. The essence of my being Am I only a fighter. Strong mind like my zodiac sign? Have I brought into such a myth? Or is it just who an what I am? Im a strong being and can be a lot to take in. My passions drive me but, cioas is almost second nature to me. Is that why i am a dragon freak? To be one with a being whom can never be tame. Or like the fire inside its belly tucked in a pouch hidden away. Contain but not control. When set free to spread as it pleases. I emerge from deep thought discovering more and more of myself each time. I am one who keeps my feelings to myself ,but will give them where they should not be. Hmm somedays to be me. A torn spirit with life an love. "This one shall know great pain I have been told because the easy way isnt enough the hard way always taken." I am awaken by my soul the restlessness of it all. I have given everythig and gotten nothing in return. And have gotten everything and given nothing. Was that the price you pay for doing one wrong you pay for it again an again is karma that big of a %#&@$!??? Hmmm i wonder an ponder over such things over thinker I am. Impatient always want it now or never, you love me now or never. Take me as I am or leave me be. Why say you love when you dont wish to get to know me? I emerge in lighten and awake glad to be me. In days I seem somber in others Im ajoy I am a wave in the ocean sometimes I wash up gently. SOmetimes I come raging with the storm. I am twice as sweet three times more deadly then you woud ever think i could be...
lately been stressed,but had to sit back an think about all the good things I have going.Sooner or later I always do.Dark skies eventually turn sunny. I've been side tracked lately in all that i do. But the focus light is back on. If you can't be a moven force then what are you?
What is this game we play?? To love each other inspite of ourselves. To give all and except nothing to recieve and give nothing. How this goes in circles and goes now where. To be chased and not chase. To want only the good and pretend not to see the bad. to go on as if you never met. If you base love only on the first kiss. If this is to easy to dismiss. Then why shall you start what you know you will not finish? If my touch means nothing? Why get that close? If my scent doesn't bring you to your knees? Why are you underneath me? To love me is to understand my moods. To hold me close when nothing else helps. Touch me when i need everything else. Why do we play the games we play? Why say you love someone in just play? Why open doors you dont want in? Why pull strings just to cut them lose? What are truely the games we play ???
A bird
Why are you trying to cage me knowning I can`t stay? The wings I have need the wind beneath them.. I need no past and the future to be only the place I end up.These bars are driving me crazy how many time do i have to scream it. I am not what you need nor do I plan to be..The sun has set tto many times here its time to be on my way.Yeah I know I stayed way to long. I must have lost my mind thinking I could settle in this place. To think I could have my wings clipped again.Unlock the door an set me free..Its time to let this thing go..Hopefully my feathers I leave behind bring You comfort In the end. But Its time this one goes one her way..Birds are free as the wind an need to be as such...
Tears the last a few to come
Sitting in the window watching the rain come down. Taking a deep breathe wondering how we got here at tears and fears.Why is this so hard to let go. What pulls us together rips us apart so why do this over and over. These tears are the last to be shed here this is not love but tragedy..We must learn the difference.We must free are souls let go of this bad krama. We have brought on us. Ahh the lightening is bright blinding us as wesay good bye never to cross this path again wishing luck and love..Never to see such madness again...These tears we shed will neverbe shed again.. not here any way ..
Every woman is a diamond..You just have to know what karat you want...
I hold this in the palm of my hands. What was an could have been. Eyes wonder the mind ponders all the little things. Why must pain be the source of my passions. Love rarely is enough sex not truely fullfilling. You seem to like the games I play. The mazes I provided only cause you like whats in between my thighs. This place you love to be making sure your always in so deep. Hmmm I bore with you like others before you. The idea I run over you. Call you when I need you put you out when I'm done. Ooh my to watch this lil boy run, feeble are the minds at hand. To think cause I got kids i can't have a man. Shows me you cant be a real man. I love a challenge a big strong man with a back bone. One who knows what I want and how to give it to me. Keeps me up all night wanting more. A man who can say whats on his mind an just not gonna give in to me. One who stand his ground when I'm wrong. In the palm of my hand I hold everything I am. The fire of which I am . I am so much more than a pair of tits two legs with a split a tight whole you never gonna get. So with this I leave You a food for thought get on my little useless %#&@$!.....
"If we submerge ourselves in things that are not good for us why complain?"
" Am i the Only one"
So I hear you saying I am the only one. Thats hard to trust when you have a special someone at home.I`m the only but who is that blowing up your phone??So i hear im all you need but hmmm you come up missing when Im in need Your everything I am i doubt it sweetie since your someone elses man.. Lets not play games or mix words a purpose we both serve.. When in need a friend in bed we can be..So lets not pretend im the only one this special something may we be what we came here to be....so let me seee how this will be..
"A mind F**K"
I am everything you need and want.I am at your feet to serve you.I will do what ever is asked. What a mind F**K I am a wind the thatchanges direction at anytime. Iam what ever I want to be at any given time...I can F**k your mind beyond your wildest dreams with out spreading my legs thats what a real mind F**k is Im not here to serve but to spark that this your missing...What a mind F**k i can be sometimes its a good thing sometimes ita really bad thing...but i do both well....
I merley stand at the edge. Awaiting for what comes next. The mere scent of you brings me to my knees.Your touch more than makes cream.How I wait here for the moment of conception with all our interactions.The excitement of you an me.The things you do to me and for me sends to places never seen.The spots on me you know how to bring th peak and flash of overflow..I stand here at the edge waitng....
When something is gain something is always lost..what can you stand to lose
...With that let it begin when all other things end....
Just Me
Yeah I know I`m different and thats ok I don`t want to be like other chicks anyway. I have my own ideas and make my own way.I cant pretend to be all these things im not so dont expect me to.I value my mind body and soul thats not deep its just the truth.
In search for closure, In search for the begining of something great, In search for the feelingof contentment something that keeps me a wake....To be inside this head
-I need not fix in your box of what you call beauty. Because tobe a real woman is beautiful. Dark skin I am Sexy always No need to copy another, My style is my own. My love to pure my cause is just. My fire will burn you. My touch will cool you. Fore you have never meet another like me. Cause my momma only made me and the devil is scared of me. Because in these eyes a fire is burning and through my mouth some days fire I do spit.
_Who you fooling?
Who you fooling with that cash? I`m not giving you any a@@. You can`t buy me I`m not for sell. When are you going to realize I`m more than set of tits a pair of legs with a split and a mouth your never gonna kiss. Why must we keep going through this. Do your momma hear you talk like this? Respect my dear goes along way. Who you fooling with this sh*t coming out your mouth? Really what do you expect me to say back I`m on my way. No no I can`t play along Iwas brought up to be strong. So to amuse you any longer is starting to piss me off. Who you fooling with the bling and your fancy things? Certainly not me cause I was raised to get my own. So sorry at the sight of your place my panties don`t get wet.That your speakers dont make me cream. Why dont you come withsome real sh*t if you coming at me. Maybe the other chics fall for you and I dont knockthat. But look that isnt me so dont hate or call me names cause if you like I`ll show youwhatareal woman can be like. Who you fooling with that cash? Cause I`m still not giving you any a@@. When you get real and stop fooling yourselfmaybe then and only then can we be more than just this bullsh*t you trying to foolme with......
Behind these eyes....
Are passions unknown adventuresunexplored. I am not what i appear nore do i pretend as such. My eyes dont lie even though i sometimes try. Not to decieve but to please. Behind these eyes tears do arise. Not that I try. Pain sometimes is what lets you know your alive.
-My Worth
I am worth more than you will ever know. For my value has no price tag. My love is priceless. I am notlooking for love it will find me. My feelings are mine to share if i choose. I`m not sad orbitter just an adult. I dont need your approval or acceptance because I never have.in this heart lies endless moments to be shared when the time is right.
If you have yahoo messenger let me know.....
