Caramel_Playboy

Lookin for some grown and sexy people to conversate with. If you fit the bill let me hear what you have to say. If you have a sense of humour bonus points for you:)

Boondocks - Gin & Rummy (Samuel L. Jackson & Charlie Murphy)




check out these letters Santa sends to the kids. it`s sooo wrong:)







Top reasons it`s great to be a Man

1. Your a$$ is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don`t give a rat`s %#&@$! if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work. More pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don`t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it`s in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you`re talking to them.
16. New shoes don`t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger`s seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don`t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unabletosee wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.

Ten Things men know for sure about women.

1.
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3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts.





Here`s something a friend emailed me that explains exactly what i feel sometimes.

"When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year `round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they`ve got it!

But....

Now that I`ve reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine (or thirty one), I can`t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You`ve got it so f**kin` easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a god damned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don`t know how good you`ve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn`t have The Internet--we wanted to know something, we had to go to the god-damned library and look it up ourselves!

And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen!-- and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the f**kin` mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the god-damned record store and shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and f*ck it all up! You want to hear about hardship? You couldn`t just download porn! Youhad to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options! We didn`t have fancy sh*t like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn`t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn`t know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances! And we didn`t have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked %#&@$!! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed!
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D`ya hear
what the f*ck I`m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!

That`s exactly what I`m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You`re spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn`t last five minutesback in 1984!

Life is pain...