Derek_J

I AM THE Bald HEAD GUY! in the pics or you can hit me up on
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The Hunger That Defines Me!

Hunger defines me. I`ve always been hungry, but now my appetite has risen to a new level. My will is greater than ever. The motivation to succeed runs through me like blood. In this 25th year, the mountain I once climbed to reach the where I am looms in front of me again. I realize how hard it will be to climb it, how much I will have to sacrifice and overcome to get to the top, how many people have told me I can`t do it. But I savor that challenge. Feed off of it. That challenge helps give me purpose and inspiration. It helps me define life.
The past mouth and a half there was a question floating around in my mind. What is my purpose? On one level I understood the reasons for why I do what I do, but on another level I felt an even greater commitment tugging at my soul. I`m a friend, a man who loves his family, A leader. But is that it? When I look back at my life, I realize that all of the faces that once surrounded me are gone. I was a kid back then, eager to please, eager to find my place in a world that seemed familiar but different. The smile on people faces was my refuge. In a way, my dedication to life and making people happy defined me. But that definition has grown. The struggles I`ve encountered over the last few mouths have made me realize just how much more there is for me to accomplish. I`ve begun a new phase of my life; I`ve opened new doors. And with new doors comes a whole new world of challenges.
In my life I have won a lot of battles I shouldnA?t have won and accomplished so much that no one thought I would. But still, I feel as if I have yet to fulfill the blessing that God has given me in my ability to play this game of life. I feel as if there is so much more to do.
I don`t know if this is how I am supposed to feel. Did Martin, Malcolm, even my Mom and the others feel the same way? In our society it seems like everyone is out for them selves. Period. But am I supposed to obsess myself with just doing whatA?s best for me even if its pushing someone else down or not lending a hand to someone in need. Then wondering if all my sacrifices were worth it?
What I have come to learn is that my desire to win at anything, the will to pursue my goals with the highest level of intensity and passion, defines me and sometimes get the best of me. But I have been careful to keep my motivation pure. The distractions that come with winning in the game of life at all cost even at the expense of others, the idea of living for the money and making people happy I`ve watched these things consume other people. My thirst for domination is fed only by the wining at whatever I do. I refuse to get distracted by outside forces.
This is a new book/ chapter in my life. Volume 1 has already been written. Everything that I accomplished before is behind me: not forgotten, but placed on the shelf. My past success only serves as a measuring stick for my friends, brother, who ever is behind me to follow. But I feel as if that quest is behind me now and a new one has taken its place. I am an underdog. A challenge was issued to me by everyone who said I would never succeed again. I accepted their challenge. I accepted the doubt of every one who spoke of my downfall and used their words as fuel.
That mountain, the one that I climbed once and now face again, is huge. I`m looking up at it again. And because I know how hard it was to climb, I sometimes feel drained because I know how difficult it will be to conquer. But desire is the ultimatefuel. Hunger changes any situation.My past experience gives me knowledge that backs up my will. I know what must be done. My fear is that my friends and people around me have never climbed this mountain before. At times it`s frustrating and it tries my patience, but there were people whowere patient with me and trusted in the fact that I would figure everything out, so now I must return that favor to the people around me.
I have been learning about the ambitioninside me since I was a kid. Whenever someone would say I couldn`t do, I would grab hold of that feeling inside me and realize that it was there for a reason. I have always had a purpose, a need to succeed. People who try to discourage me only add fuel to a fire that has always burned. Every phase of my life has brought me new risks and new rewards; in many ways I have always been the underdog. And through it all, through every struggle, the love I have for people has always been there. It has never left me alone knowing that even if I wasnA?t happy someone else was.
Desire is a double-edged sword. It gives you strength; it gives you motivation and focus. But occasionally, because your ambition is so great, you wonder what will happen if your goals are not fulfilled. My biggest fear is not being successful and wining in life. But fear is a great motivator. The people who once celebrated me and called themselves my friends are the same people who doubt me now. I ask my self do I expect too much from them?
When I am gone I want people my friends to remember how hard I fought and the passion and drive with which I did." I have always had this passion.A? Then I saw the movie Rudy I remember thinking, "What if I worked that hard?" God has blessed me both physically and intellectually. Now I got to put it to good use. So think about what would happen if I push as hard as the character in this film? I would love for people to think of me as a talented overachiever. And when its all said and done I want people to think this guy poured his heart andsoul into everything and everyone he came in touch with. And hopefully, when the next volume of my life is all said and done, they will respect me and appreciate the years that I spent giving all of me to the people that means everything to me.
I havelearned that it is OK for me to be me, and what being me entails. It means that I will not rest; I will not sleep, relax,relent or be satisfied until my goals have been met, the challenge answered and all my doubters silenced. I will not give in to my foes; I won`t let down my friends and family. I won`t stop inspiring those who look up to me or stop giving motivation to those who motivate me. I will not back off until I`m on top, in the place where they said I could never be. Mountains don`t scare me. The LACK of mountains scares me. The climb up, the struggle for every inch of ground and every level of ascension is what feeds me. I welcome that challenge. I welcome that chance to be fed because no matter what A? no matter how hard, how far, or how many stand in my way, I remain determined.
Derek Johnson


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I AM THE Bald HEAD GUY! in the pics or you can hit me up on
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