Wanda-Marie

My name is Wanda I`m a 49 year old Medical Professional. I live in Northern NJ. I have two children a son 333 and a daughter 24. The background pic is my son and grand daughter. (Not my man).

I`m a single parent and a homeowner so I`m no stranger to hard work and dedication and striving for whatever one`s goals are in life. I`m an affectionate Cancer who loves to hold and be held. I`m interested in finding a brotha who is not afraid to give or receive affection, is not committment phobic and has something POSITIVE and REAL to bring to a relationship! If you are that person than please leave me a note.



My BROTHAS do you know how to navigate the site?? You come on BP periodically and NEVER check to see if you have notes, gifts, invites, group invites or Secret Admirers.

It truly amazes me that if something is not a TV or game remote & does not have PUZZY written all over it most men do not know how to work it!!!

Please educate yourself on how to properly use BP, you could be missing your blessings!

CANCER - The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak.

Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

(Cancer women) When I love it is a loyal love, it is a love that creates an aura of permanency.

IF YOU ARE FROM ANOTHER COUNTY, AFRICA, NIGERIA, LONDON, GERMANY DO NOT CONTACT ME!! IF YOU ARE 20 SOMETHING SENDING FRIEND INVITES THAT DIRECT YOU TO PORN SITES OR THAT TBOO SITE, DO NOT CONTACT ME.

My brothas I think you should know, If you have no "Personal message" age or location on your page you get the right hand CLICK with the quickness. (I could tolerate not having a pic on your page more than not having anything profound to say).

I'm a very friendly person so I may send notes and/or give props on your page. (Single fathers don't get enough recognition). Most people are polite and communicative and say Thank you for reaching out. (Everthing doesn't have to be a romantic interlude). For the rude ones I'm reminded of a saying my dear mother used...."You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". I found the same thing with Match.com (Except you paid for it) that I find with Black Planet. These sites give us the proper tools...It's up to US to utilize them!!! Too often people act like they are scared or lack communication skills. Most high schools offer classes at night. Do yourself a favor and enroll in one. How can you be looking for your "significant other" but say absolutely nothing on your page? Life is too short my brothas reach out to us. We get tired of doing all the communicating and getting little or no response. (Makes me wonder, the white boys and the Africans will send us a note without hesitation). AFRICAN MEN: This statement does not give you permission to contact me.

***Note: We then wonder why we don't have the UNITY other races have. We waste emotions being envious and/or jealous and simply don't interact,communicate and support each other.


60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS) says:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask what are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game,she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she want to do, and it's usually more interesting. Womem over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update date for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

When we DATE we should do so to enable our selves to make an INFORMED DECISION...Not to put more notches on our belt....by increasing our number of CONQUESTS....


Food for thought about online dating:

Please have realistic expectations. If you want to meet Beyonce Knowles or any of the young girls on the music videos, you are definitely in the wrong age group.


Brothas don`t forget to take her out..the only way to truly get to know someone is to interact on different levels.

As you mature, you realize it is better to find someone who has your back than someone who turns your head.


**WHAT YOU DO OUT OF BED SETS THE PRECEDENT FOR WHAT YOU DO IN BED!

Brothas...please bring something to the table. By the time a man is 35 or over he should have at least the four essentials (most women do)...

1. A job

2. His own apartment

3. A phone

4. A car


On a physical level: Love to dance


On a spiritual level: I Stay connected to God, he is the center of my life and the foundation for which I base my growth.

No man is worth your tears and the one that is won`t make you cry!


An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don`t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don`t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren`t really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you`ve got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can`t take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can`t make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won`t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humour, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving eachotherspace to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can`t always be together. Remember,that even though you are married "You are two separate entities". Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don`t try to control one another. Learn each other`s family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don`t put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.


Don't marry the person you can live with....."MARRY THE PERSON YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT".


The difference between `United` and `Untied` is where you put the I.

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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GIRLS AND GROWN WOMEN!

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.

Girls want to control the man in their life.

Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.

Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls try to put a man "on lock" by using sex.

Grown women know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to" lock" you down.

Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it using it as time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come.
Grown women make you come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e. don't want him hanging with his friends).

Grown women realize that a lit bit of space makes the" together time" even more special" and goes to kick it with their own friends!

Girls think a guy crying is weak.

Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and tell their man so.

Grown women" show" him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his" manhood".

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that, that was just one man.

Girls fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all" signs".

Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.

Grown women will read this and pass it on to other GROWN WOMEN!!!


I`m also a poet. For the BP poetic peeps here are three of my poems. Don`t forget to kiss the G spot on your way out.


BALANCE

In life you never strike a balance, your always just that far from acheiving total fulfillment in finding that true love. Either he`s too young, too old, too immature, too busy, too unaffectionate or just unattainable.

When you`ve found your soulmate and circumstances prevent you from being in his arms; it`s sad when you want nothing more than to show him how much you adore him!

A defense mechanism kicks in and you distance yourself. Every night before you go to bed you pray he doesn`t fall in love with someone else.


OUR LOVE

You think our love is over because it shows all the signs that I have broken your heart and you have broken mine.


No matter how it hurts or the reasons why the real love I know we shared deserves another try.

I know that too much pride can make you think our love is through, without stopping to remember all the things it meant to you.

I know our love was precious or I wouldn`t feel like this, I just can`t stop my feelings or pretend they don`t exist.

Because I really love you,I just have to know that our love is really over before we let it go!


THE RIGHT ONE

You`ve probably pushed past her on a busy street or passed her at the mall. Because she wasn`t wearing heels and a short skirt you hardly noticed her at all.

If given half the chance she would have smiled and said "hello", so as not to make you think she`s "unapproachable".

She`s the preety sistah hidden underneath the baseball cap. She`s the one who will give you all her heart, and settle for nothing less because she knows a "great relationship" should set the precedent for "great sex".

So, my brothas chose your words carefully when you say "you haven`t found the right one", you have to pick the reddest of the roses and stop messing with the thorns....
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TRUTH BE TOLD: I DON'T STAY WHERE I'M NOT WANTED...
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BROTHAS..PLEASE IF YOUR THAT SCARED OF A RELATIONSHIP THEN YOU DON`T NEED TO BE IN ONE...But being afraid does not give you the right to PERP and say things you haven`t begun to mean...I love my brothas..but after seeing the games and the patterns repeat themselves just had to go ahead and put it on out there just trying to keep it real..maybe you don`t realize how your working your program until you see it in print....as far as relationships and the black female go...if your not going to help the cause (love and happiness) then don`t hinder...step aside and let a real man treat her right, one that is not afraid of success but who is afraid of failue and is determined to mean what he says.

DON`T WAIT UNTIL YOUR 65 AND ALL PLAYED OUT (AND ALL THE GOOD WOMEN ARE TAKEN) TO STOP PERPETRATING A FRAUD...

MOST OF THE BROTHAS STILL WAIT UNTIL ITS TOO LATE, TAKE US FOR GRANTED AND/OR DON`T WANT US UNTILL SOMEONE ELSE DOES.
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Good Black Men are indeed all around you. You pass us on the streets, in the malls and the halls at work. Most you don`t see because you don`t know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn`t flashy enough or rich enough to turn your heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. He might not have a "body like Tyson with a Denzel face." But, as you mature, you realize it`s better to find someone who`s got your back rather than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn`t agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. He doesn`t just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn`t declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada, yada he is (we won`t have to because it shows).

He has his own opinions and yours may clash, but he doesn`t have to degrade you to prove he`s right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect.

He needs to feel that you don`t live to "catch" him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!!"

A good man isn`t insecure about his women having great achievements. In fact he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her when she begins to lose herself,for the sake of "not hurting our feelings, or I just want to make him happy." Our happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals. For as she excels and is exalted, agood woman will bring her good man right along with her.

A good man doesn`t necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine`s gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don`t judge me by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You`ll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that your men are no good. It`s just not true.
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God determines who walks into your life, it's up to you to decide who you let walk away,who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing To Others..
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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime!

******The little cutie below is my grandson Aa`jahmir and my daughter Shania. The background pic is my son Charhine and my grand daughter Disaya that looks just like me.