ambitious_balla

So damn near EVERYONE says I "look mean." I disagree. But if EVERYBODY says it, that means it must be true right? WRONG! I think everyone is just suffering from "collective delusion!" LMAO!

Before I get started with the heavy stuff, let me address a few things. Look at my join date. Been here since the very beginning. So I love how people try to tell ME that I'm on here for the wrong reasons when I tell them I'm NOT looking for a woman! Blackplanet is NOT a hookup site. It was one of the first social networking spots pre-Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter. Ya'll arent on there looking for love. So why is BP treated any differently?

While I AM single, I'm really not looking for a relationship. Too much on my plate "off" line to be anything other than a friend. So if you're looking for someone to talk to from time to time, hang out with (I travel, lol), then I'm cool. Otherwise, all those seeking love, someone to pay bills, marry immediately although you don't know my last name, OR make a child with (been asked that THREE times on here), I'm SO not your guy!

I'm not as silly as my page may project. I'm actually very intellectual...a free thinker with sound, unbiased logic. But everyone is so uptight on here, so I decided to lighten the mood a bit. To be honest, nothing on my page is really offensive. Just more of a "harsh reality." I discuss real issues that we tend to "ignore" with a humorous twist. So if you find HIV awareness, respect for your fellow man/woman, and honesty "offensive," more than likely we won't get along and you should keep it moving.

I'm the most down-to-earth brotha on this site here. Unlike a good 98% of everybody else on here, I respond to EVERYONE regardless of looks, pic or no pic, sex, sexual preference, religion, etc. All I ask is that you show me the same respect & courtesy that I'll give to you. And don't send me a friend request if we've never spoken. I won't accept it.

The Disrespect of Respecting Women

On and off line, I'm encountering females who are "offended" when you address them certain ways. Especially those you don't know. I use "sweetie" and "sweetheart" a lot. I also use "ma'am." Usually it's if I know you, or if I'm out in public and I DONT know their name. Like in a store, if I need to pass, I'll be like "excuse me sweetie" or "excuse me ma'am." Thing is, the past few years, I've gotten "DONT CALL ME SWEETHEART" or "IM NOT YOUR SWEETIE!" Even online, under the lists of "things I dislike" a lot of women are listing "being called sweetie"

Now, my thing is this...you don't wanna be called "sweetie" or "sweetheart" for whatever reason and you say don't call you "ma'am" cause you're not old....then WHAT the hell are we supposed to call you?

What's funny is that these SAME females will PROUDLY refer to themselves as a "b*tch"...but "sweetheart" is degrading? How can you command respect from a male and reject it when its offered? I'd MUCH rather be called "sir" or "dude" than "n*gga." Just my opinion though.

Before I get started, let me give you the disclaimer, lol.

Disclaimer= "The following footage contains statements far too bold for the weak spirited. So if you can't handle people having an opinion that may differ from yours or you're all uptight and think you sit on the toilet and sh*t ice cream, more than likely this page isn't for you. So for those who came to have a good laugh, sit back and enjoy. I'll get you a 6-pack stomach with no crunches, lol. I`m pretty low-key, so not much personal info is listed on the page but I`ll gladly answer any questions you may have. But to eliminate the basics, I'll give you a quick rundown:

I'm 6'0", 186lbs, athletically built. My occupation is Combat Engineer. My hobbies include designing homes/building structures, boxing, shooting (I know, I know. But I'm a Marine and I have a weapons fetish, lol). Plus I'm from Flint...that's all they do up there, lol. I also enjoy writing/producing music, watching movies, bowling, shooting pool, taking walks (good therapy), cooking. Personality wise, I'm very laid back, silly, but know when to be serious. Oh, and let me deter most of you right here now. I don't club, drink or smoke. And since nowadays you're a "hater" anytime you don't do something, SURELY that makes me a "WEED HATER!!!" Damn this sucks.....I dont meet the social criteria of the people on BP. OH THE HORROR!

I am NOT from North Carolina, I only live here. I frequent the Georgia, Illinois, and Michigan areas. But I was born, raised and will always represent Flint, Michigan!!

*sigh* Let me save you and I both some time. Do NOT write if you:

1. You fail to speak with ANY hint of intelligence. I REFUSE to respond to "A boi, yo why fo be fyne u iz! Hahla at ya gerl"

2. You refuse to respond to people with no pics. This ISN'T a dating service. You`re on here to mingle and network with people. And besides, most of you making that request look like you`ve been hit in the face with a bag full of monkey ankles anyway.

Alright, so the after going over my page, I realized how unorganized it was. So I've decided to rearrange things and categories it all so that it reads better. Hope you enjoy!

My Opinions On Random Things

Sorry people but 30 is NOT the new 20. 30 is just 30. You're getting older....just face it. I see this as the newest "excuse" to try to hold on to the good old days. I'm 32 and while I feel older than hunger (people have been hungry for a LOOOONG time, lol), I'm coming to grasps with this "going downhill" concept. I realize that in a few more years, when I sit on the toilet, my nuts will be in the water, lol. Things change people and you must change with them. So I hate to bust some bubbles but I wouldn't be me if I didn't, so let's go with the list:

Fat is NOT the new skinny!!! (I'm sure your heart will agree. Nice try though)
Broke is NOT the new rich!!! (lets stop lying about our financial situations people! Sorry fellas, but no woman in her right mind is gonna believe that "Baby, the Bentley's in the shop right now...but that #5 bus will be here in 15 minutes!")
Gay is NOT the new straight!!! (I find it pretty weird that people are now in "shock" that I've NEVER messed with another man. Go figure.)
Funk is NOT the new cologne (fellas stop hopping in the bed with your lady with balls smelling like pickled ham)

And last but not least:

T-PAIN IS NOT THE NEW LUTHER!!!! Who told him he could sing? He tries to do that old school, Roger "Computer Love" thing but just doesn't hit it off right. The whole "Robocop meets Gerald Levert" thing just isn't working.

I grow more and more disappointed with BP every change. I remember when BP first went up and had it's own flavor. Now you have the option of making your page look like your Myspace page!!! YAAAAAY *note the sarcasm*.....what happened to the originality?

Although the page is loaded with jokes, I gotta take the time out to be serious for a minute. If you read nothing else on this page, PLEASE read the next two paragraphs!

HIV NEGATIVE!!! Man, I was more scared than a Klan Member at the Million Man March!!! Waiting the "grace period" of months to take it was nerve wrecking. Waiting for the results was even worse. No more "mistakes" for me! I've had my free pass for this life. Not taking any more chances. For those too who want to take it but are too embarrassed to be told by a doc, you can take one in complete privacy. Use the Home Access HIV Testing Kit. You can order them from any online drug store or find them in certain drug stores locally live CVS. It's the only FDA approved kit, 100% anonymous, and it's easy to use. I've used them before. Plus you get your results in one business day.

Fellas, if you go in the bathroom to pee, and your soldier starts coughing, I recommend making the investment! Ladies, you're not excluded. I got lucky on this one. It could have been me. I've learned my lesson though! Now I suit up with rubber gloves, condoms, astronaut suits, etc....and that's only when I'm beating off! LOL!!! Did I just say that? Lol. For real though, a few minutes thrill (a very short few in my case, lol) isn't worth it. If you're gonna be with someone, be with them the right way. Protect yourself. If you prefer for it to be "natural," get tested and request to see DOCUMENTED test results. The whole "ain't no woman that fine go have nothing" thing is by far the most ignorant thought process ever!! I'm telling you, if you pull the thongs down and it sneezes, you MIGHT wanna reconsider. It may seem like I'm only preaching because I'm "okay" this time....but what if I wasn't? It was a 50/50 chance either way and this AIDS epidemic is knocking us off at an alarming rate and I don't wanna see any more of my brothas and sistas fall because of this.

But in the meantime, I'm happier than Aretha Franklin at the all-you-can-eat!!!

*Serious Dia mode off!*

My Thoughts on Gays & the "Alternative Lifestyle" Participants

Alright check it. A lot of people are getting the wrong impression from my page and a few portions that I write about gays. So Ill address it early. I'm not saying "gays cant write me." We can be cool and chit chat on here. But ain't go be no hanging out and going to play ball during the day and then we're in the bed spooning at night! I have no problem with gays. I disagree with their lifestyle, but I STILL respect them as people. But I DO have a STRONG dislike with those who don't accept what they are...mainly these cats who have relations with other men but claim they're NOT gay (on the DL). You disgust me. How can you lay with a man and then go home and look your woman/wife in the eye and tell her you love her?

Those I've asked, their usual reasoning is because its purely sexual and no feelings involved for relationship purposes. I disagree in a sense because only homosexuality is "excused" by this. The man who molests a child will NOT avoid the pedophile label because he had no feelings or intentions on being involved with the child emotionally. Or a man who shoots another in the head just "because he felt like it" and not cause he hated that person does not avoid being a murderer. Come on man, same sex relations is purely gay....whether its just sex or not. If you're going to do it, at least be man enough to accept what you are.

And if I get another "you talk about it so much, you must be gay" note. I'm going on 30 years old. That whole "reverse" thing doesnt work on me. Sorry. That has NEVER made sense to me. Hell, I talk about how broke I am all the time too....doesn't mean I WANNA be! Lol

The main question that I get is "if you're not homophobic, then why do you talk about it so much on your page?" The answer is simple, when I just had "heterosexual" as my status I couldn't have any peace. On the daily, I'd receive numerous notes from cats offering to "gargle me before they swallow" and "suck me dry." *pauses to vomit*. The thought of me ever having some tube turkey in my mouth makes me want to rip my entire lower jaw off. I've NEVER looked at another man with lustful eyes and never will. Again, I'm cool with gays. As long as there's a mutual respect, I'm good. I can respect you being homosexual, but can you respect me being hetero enough to refrain from trying to turn me out? If the gays can show that mutual respect, you'll see me talk less and less about it. Truthfully, I would love for it not to even be such an issue, but with this newfound boldness, I have to be this brutal and damn near "offensive" just to deter their advances. A simple "nah, I don't get down like that" doesn't work anymore.

So with that said, although I'll converse with you on here, I'm NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN PHYSICALLY MEETING GAYS!!! Just not my crowd. I don't WANT to "just be cool" when you think I'm handsome or sexy. These are NOT compliments you give another man that you just wanna "hang out" with. Despite what ya'll believe, not every man has at least once thought about being with another man. My closet door doesn't even have hinges on it, so I cant come out of it. And stop using the "you say you like to shoot pool, me too!" line....chances are you'll try to make a move on me and the night will end with me beating you with the thick end of the pool stick. I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO DUDES!!! I am NOT bisexual OR bicurious! Hell, I won`t even ride a "BI"cycle NOR will I accept a job that pays "BI"-weekly! THERE`S NOTHING GAY OR BI ABOUT ME!! Trust me when I say that even if you and I were stranded on a remote island together it STILL wouldn't go down. I'd kill you and sex a coconut first!

Oh and for the record, to you transsexuals, uhm....technically, you're NOT a woman....operation or not. So you're included in this as well. Plus you'll NEVER fool me. You can take all the hormone and go under the knife, but the fact that you have shoulders like Lebron James tells it all. They haven't figured out how to change the skeletal structure yet! Plus makeup doesn't do the razor bumps ANY justice. So please, keep it moving as well. And remember, I LOVE to shoot stuff so don't be the one to find out how accurate I am unless you want to save a few dollars on your operation!!!

And this portion isn't just reserved for the fellas. Lesbians don't thrill me either.

The Videos

These are some random videos that I either found or someone sent to me. TOO hilarious NOT to share! Especially the new Hammer video and the Beyonce one! Enjoy!

This "nigga" right here set blacks WAAAAAY back along with the liquor store dude below. The smacking between words and the random bites are PRICELESS! You WILL literally "laugh out loud" as this fool shows you "How to Eat a Watermelon!"



Wow....Got pansies in training. This cat right here needs to be padded up and put on the football field QUICK!!!


I'm mad he did a split.......His parents should be beaten with a bag of hot quarters soaked in anthrax. If this was my son I don't think I'd EVER stop whooping his *ss...he'd be on a punishment of NO female friends and I'd force him to watch nothing but sports and porn! Lol

I DON'T CARE WHAT NONE OF YA'LL SAY, HAMMER STILL GOT IT!!!!

Dont LET me find out ya'll at the club POPPIN YALL COLLAR!!!! Lol

This video right here takes the cake. This cat just set blacks back 300 years with this one! Wow...only my people. Couldn't embed the video, but the link will take you right to it.

How not to rob a liquor store

Although I rap, I don't listen to it too much. But this cat right here is classic! Listen to what he says to this girl. Hilarious! And look at the hair and nails! Ladies don't be jealous! Lol! I give to you Suga Free!!!

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For those you who saw the movie "Baby Boy", let me tell you, you haven't seen it til you've watched it on BET! This edit is HILARIOUS! Plus it doesn't sound anything like Snoop...."DAMN THAT BROTHA!" LMAO



The newest addition. Guess I coulda put this under the "random opinion" topic, but to hell with it, lol.

The "Dia On" Section

The new "Dia On" section is here! Just me touching on some things that we ALL go through and shedding my light on it. Some of my thoughts you may find hilarious, but most who know me think I'm the strongest person out there, so maybe my words will help you get through something.

Dia On: Relationships & Break Ups

Ever notice how when you're IN a relationship its "oh baby, I care about you so much! NOTHING is gonna come between us. Don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you. I can feel you in my soul". But when it hits the fan it's "YOU SORRY *SS, GOOD FOR NOTHING MUTHAF*CKA" after the breakup? Lol. Its amazing how that person goes from having NO flaws to too many to count all with the change of status. Most of the time, these flaws were always there. We just choose to ignore them hoping that this person will change. Personally, I think that it stems from people so desperately wanting to make every one "Mr or Ms Right" that they actually lower their standards and tolerate things that they normally wouldn't. Let's face it. You can't change anyone. You can only inspire someone to want to change and most people nowadays are so stuck on their ways that it's not even worth the honest effort. Some DO luck up though! The key to a healthy relationship and avoiding guaranteed disaster and a waste of time is to do what most of us fail to do 99% of the time....see that person for who they REALLY are and not who YOU want them to be! Sure, I've had my share of breakups, but my ex's and I are still cool. When you can walk away and STILL have good things to say about the other, that just means that the relationship failed, you didn't.

Dia On: Hygiene.

I don't care HOW fine or sexy you think you are, if you have bad hygiene, that kills everything for me. I logically cannot come up with a reason that people refuse to keep themselves clean. I had to work a project with this guy today and I swear dude smelled like a pot of boiled wolf shoulders. So me being the straight-forward person that I am, I pulled him to the side like "hey, I don't know whats going on today, but you're giving off a strong aroma. You might wanna step in the bathroom and take care of that or something." Dude's reply blew me away...."I haven't been home in a few days, and I didn't have a change of clothes, so I've had these on since I last worked two days ago. Haven't showered." So I was like "damn...so you're telling me you've been wearing the SAME pair of draws for the past 3 days? I bet those nuts are ready to howl at the full moon." He was like "oh no. I flipped my underwear inside out each day!"

Now the shocker wasn't the fact that he's flipping draws. It was the fact that he said it with the most STRAIGHT and sincere face and actually PROUD of that statement like that made a difference. So nowadays, we don't have to wash our clothes anymore? We can just flip them inside out and a few more days wear out of them? How did this change anything other than you now having the funk of a toasted *ss on BOTH sides of your underwear? WTF?? And not to mention you're STILL standing here disrespecting my nose!

I dont even feel like I should have to comment on this one. So to wrap up this portion of "Dia On", I leave you with this.....SHOWER! Or bath! Hell, some of ya'll probably need to do both, sit IN the tub and cut the shower on! Lol. Ladies...you're not excluded from this!! Gotta get in BETWEEN the cracks! Not around it!

Religion

Outside of an occasional typo NOTHING on my page is a mistake. So YES, I AM an Atheist. And I know this statement angers some of you beyond belief and you're SO anxious to cuss me out in the little note box. But in all honesty, 99% of you bashing me have no clue with an Atheist is. Not the REAL meaning anyway. We do NOT stand for evil and we are NOT Satanists. It makes no sense...how can we worship Satan when he falls into the same supernatural category as the man with the white robe? We don't believe in one but we believe in the other? Come on now. Secondly, most confuse Atheism with being an "anti-Christ." The TRUE atheist doesn't focus on disproving supernatural existence. Those who constantly bash religion and rage war on god belief are NOT atheists. They're anti-Christ. There IS a difference. But its this misunderstanding that keeps tension between non-believers and believers.

The other issue is the lack of mutual respect. We don't have a problem with you believing but you have a HUGE problem with us NOT believing. I've not once said anything negative about any religion on my page. If everyone would see people for their personality and character rather than their beliefs, cultural background, history, etc, we'd be a lot better off as a whole. But instead, we condemn one another for our differing "opinions." You know a lot of courthouses won't allow an Atheist to serve on jury duty? So because we don't believe in a god, we're not fit to serve our community and do our civil duties? Wow! So I guess that also means that I should refrain from interacting with my community and stop trying to be a mentor to the youth also? Neither one of our sides can present PROOF of our claims, so what makes one of us more right than the other? How come I can't have the same privileges at the believer? Does my lack of faith "automatically" make me a "bad" person?

I'm pretty sure the majority of you writing me outraged are only Christians on Sunday. Before you angrily write me, how about you ask a few questions first? Read a book WRITTEN BY AN ATHEIST, not a pastor, to get a more thorough understanding of our thought process. How can minister tell you about an atheist? Would you read a book about Martin Luther King written by a Klan Member? I read the Bible for 23 years before I realized that it wasn't anymore. So I can speak from both sides of the fence. I can talk Bible or science/reality. And I'm not saying that either is right or wrong. They both have strong, arguable strong points. The mind of the atheist just focuses on what can be done to help people right now in the "physical" world. We don't feel you should have to "wait until you get to heaven" to live in bliss. Why not try to do that while on earth?

All I ask is that you look beyond the superficial stuff and see a person for who they are. Not what they believe in. Homicide, pedophilia, rapes, etc., plagues BOTH of our communities. So why can't we co-exist despite our religious differences and focus on a solution to rid the world of these cruelties? And I don't mind discussing the issue as long as there's a mutual respect factor. You respect my lack of faith, I'll respect your belief. I'll NEVER attempt to steer you away from your God so give me the same courtesy. You cant convert me back, so please, don't try.

And whats up with the "pornographic Christians?" Those with "Praise God" and numerous scriptures all over your page only to post pics worthy of a Black Tail Magazine spread? And WHY do people take pics in their best outfit, hair done, etc. only to have the background look like they were in New York on Sept 11th? Let`s clean our house people! And pics in the bathroom is NOT sexy! A toilet is SO not a good prop! Lol

Moving along...

When _______ Goes TOO Far!!!

When SPOKEN WORD goes too far!!!

Alright people, tis the uprising of "everyone wanting to be a poet." *sigh*. Poetry is cool but SOME go just a TAD bit too far! I'm talking about the dashiki, head wrap and sandal wearers who come to the stage burning a hundred incense. FACT: "Just because you say a whole bunch of stuff that makes absolutely NO sense that doesnt make it "deep." And stop praising them if you don`t understand it! I`ve heard people say "I don`t know what he said, but that was dope!" WTF? How is this possible? For those that are confused here`s an example:

I massage the thighs of mother nature, tickling time`s ribs as I plant my seeds into the foundation of wolf mucus
Is beauty really in the eye of the beholder? Trying to meet my quota
While sippin Coca Cola with Jedi Master Yoda in a Toyota Corolla
I run back and forth beyond the fury of the applesauce wrinkle desperately trying to find myself within the vortex of the happy anus
I laugh and lean forward, like Fat Joe in reverse, before I disperse
the need for ruining the ancient ham..Oh that great ham
Damn, I foresee the foreskin of tomorrow`s past, while relaxing in the burrows of a Fruit Roll Up`s shadow
While casting images underneath dehydrated shelves
In the basement`s where I dwell, follow the sea shells
"What the hell is that smell?" I yell, while fondling Santa`s Elves
I wipe my brow with dead sea scrolls
Dead sea scrolls posing as McDonald napkins as I dip a Chicken McNugget into the blood of my ancestors
Inhale the true entity, while sippin on Henessy, as I rape a bag of Ramen Noodles and take it`s virginity
I am the sadness that overcomes the zealous boundaries of Captain Crunch`s obsession with sexin midget mexicans
And wrestling with pregnant pelicans
I am...the light!

And some *sshole will approach him and give dap like "man, that was deep! I`m gonna go home and make up with my wife just because of that."...wtf?

When "fat people" go too far...

If you`re fat you`re fat. So what. Stop referring to yourself as "thick." Ki Toy Johnson and Melyssa Ford are thick. And stop with the half descriptions. "I got some big thighs, big chest, and a big booty" and stop there like that`s it. No, CONTINUE on with "and some big wrists, big knees, big ankles, big stomach, etc." Nobody cares if you`re big as long as you're happy with yourself. Just be honest about it. And stop getting upset with men you meet after YOU'VE misled them. Don't post pics of you pre-three kids when you weighed 125 and you're now 325. He's GONNA NOTICE the difference when you meet!!!! Just be upfront, you never know....he may still be for it. A lot of fellas are into plus women nowadays. If not, life goes on. Trust me, it'll save you a lot of heartache and stress of a bad first meeting. Fellas, this goes for you too. Don't have the pic with your six pack on here and show up with that belly looking like you drank a few 6 packs. Just be real about it!!!

Only In Atlanta

April 21, 2007

I'm laying in the bed, kinda still drowsy from a short nap when I'm scared all to be damned by the ringing of my home phone. So I'm nervous...looking at one of the phones sitting on my nightstand next to the bed. I hop up and run to the living room to check the other and sure enough.....both phones are glowing orange on the screen and ringing full strength. I know ya'll are thinking "so? What's wrong with that?" I'll get to that later. So I grabbed my pistol and slowly edged towards the phone and picked it up very slowly...."hello?" There's a gentleman on the other end speaking in an accent from the motherland. He's like "Boy, get out of people's house!" I was like "get out of people's house?" You CALLED my house." So trying to figure out the deal, he asked "this is not my sister's house?" Here's where it gets good.....my reply:

"no sir. This is my home line and I haven't had service on it in almost two years!"

How the hell does a phone that you don't even have SERVICE to ring? Wow.....Man, do ya'll have ANY idea what's its like to be awaken by a sound you know you SHOULDNT be hearing? I thought I was dead and the spirits were calling me. I forgot to turn the AC down before I crashed, so I'm like "man...it's cold in here too. AWW DAYUM...I musta died in my sleep!!" I'm all over here ready to unload magazines cause the phone company connected the wrong phone. And after checking our addresses, we lived nowhere near one another. She lived at LEAST 20 minutes out. I guess I shoulda called this one "Only AT&T!" Lol.

And why are my phones still out in the open if they're not working you ask? They go well with my furniture, lol!

WHAT THE DAMN ATLANTA??? What the DAMN??? Just when I thought I've heard it all, someone breaks me off with something new!!!

Feb 2007:

I'm in the store today looking at shoes. I wear dress or casual clothes on the regular, so I guess this woman thought I worked there and she walks up and asks me "excuse me sir, but do you sell vegetarian shoes?" I had my back turned, and it took a second to hit me.....then i looked up with that "what the damn?" look on my face. So I looked at her like "did you just ask me for some vegetable shoes?" She was like "No, I said "vegetarian" shoes." I was like "what's the difference? And what is that? Are the made out of like broccoli or something?" and I guess she thought I was being rude cause she asked to speak to my manager. So I was like "ma'am, I don't work here. But I am curious about these V8 shoes." So she explains to me that it's a synthetic leather that's used instead of real animal skin. She got all emotional like "those poor animals are killed for their skins and it's not right so I refuse to support any bloodshed of another defenseless animal! And I bet that's real wool on your shirt isn't it? The poor sheep that had to bear the cold so you can look good...." and she just stopped. So I was like "well ma'am, although I see your point, uhm, you DO realize that a pack of hungry hyenas probably wont share the same courtesy." She flipped the hell out, so I started to walk off cause she was drawing a scene...and she FOLLOWS me, pointing and shouting "ANIMAL KILLER!!!" Lol...So store security finally made its way to us and they're trying to calm her down and she's like "GET AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR SKINS OF SLAUGHTERED ANIMALS!!!" I try to maintain a low-key profile in public, but I couldn't stop laughing. She was acting like I had a shirt on made out of HUMAN skin. I don't get animal activist. A pit bull can attack a kid but let someone shoot the dog to stop him and they prosecute the shooter for killing the dog...never mind he just saved the kid! The court is so busted nowadays that you get less time for killing an human than you do for killing an animal.

But needless to say, once I got home, I pulled out yet another wool shirt to wear the next day, lol! She better give that sheep a damn blanket and shut up! lol

It`s been a while. Thought Atlanta was gonna act right for a minute...WRONG!

February 2004

Atlanta, Atlanta, you just won`t stop will you? I`m reading a local paper looking to find a new restaurant to try out and I stumble across "Abdullah The Butcher`s House Of Ribs & Chinese Food." --did I just read that correctly? Now first of all, no wait that doesnt even deserve a "first of all" so let`s jump right into "second of all." SECOND of all, how do you combine those two? They have NOTHING in common. Now there`s no way in hell you`d catch ME ordering a half slab of ribs with some egg rolls on the side. That`s like Sloppy Joes and greens. Pizza and grits. You can`t do that. THEN to make matters worse, it`s owned by an ex-wrestling named "Abdullah The Butcher." I don`t know about ya`ll, but I`ll be DAMNED if this man here puts his hands near ANYTHING I plan on putting in my mouth.


Now sit here and tell me them breasts ain't been getting beat down by gravity!

Word is he keeps a packed house! If he can make it then I`m going for it! "Darnell`s Tacos and Oil Change" coming soon!!

February 2004

I`m on the train heading to the airport and I noticed this guy looking as if he was licking a highlighter. You know the thick yellow ones. So I`d watch him like "I know he`s not licking a highlighter like that." I mean, dude was licking it up and down, putting it all the way in his mouth and SLOWLY pulling it back out holding the end with only two fingers. So I`m disgusting of course thinking "wow, I can't believe he's practicing right here on the train for all to see." He had a hood on so I`d watch closer but not trying to be obvious for him to notice me. And he`d lick it again and turn around as to look to see if anyone was coming. And he kept doing it, licking the hell out of
this highlighter. I`m not one to be nosy but damn, the way he licked this highlighter made me curious. So I just so happen to lean forward and peeped over his seat...why was he eating some apple pie with the highlighter? Come on now, if you`re THAT hungry just use your hand. And even IF you do use a highlighter (which I can only see someone from Atlanta doing), don`t lick it like you`re auditioning for gay porn. Only In Atlanta

May- 2003:

I'm in the grocery store and the dude bagging my groceries smiles..with a mouthful of gold teeth. Nothing wrong with that, I'm in the south now. I should expect that. But I mention again this cat had a mouthful of gold teeth...with braces on them. Only in Atlanta.

And thats it!

Before you write me enraged and threatening to "cuss me out on your page" please know that Im really not worried about it. Am I bitter? Nope. Angry? Not at all. Im the coolest cat you'll meet. I just don't tolerate BS nor do i feel the need to try to "impress" people online. I'm happy and proud of who I am, flaws and all. And that's all that matters. Whether you like me or not wont improve my quality of life one bit. Plus its just not that serious. I have a life "off" line so my "e-reputation" means nothing to me. Some of ya`ll take this FAR too serious. Having a lot of hits should NOT make you feel important nor should "Blackplanet`s Member Of the Week" accolades be listed as one of your biggest accomplishments in life. Maybe if you put that same effort into bettering yourself you wouldnt still be asking people "sir would you like fries with that?" LMAO!!!

If I`ve offended anyone, GOOD! You just further proved my point of "taking this too far."

The Great Dia has SPOKEN!!!!



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