downsouthmayn

HEAVENLY FATHER,
I BEGIN BY SAYING THANK YOU. FOR EVERYTHING... I KNOW I'M NOT WORTHY BUT YOU CONTINUE TO BLESS ME IN ABUNDANCE. TEACH ME TO BE A BETTER PERSON. THANK YOU FOR THE KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME AND HELP ME TO GAIN MORE AS TIME GOES ON. THANK YOU FOR MY HEALTH. FATHER, FORGIVE ME OF ALL OF MY SINS. I AM A SINNER AND I CANNOT CHANGE THAT. CLEANSE MY SPIRT. DELIVER ME FROM MEDIOCRITY AND COMPLACENCY. HELP ME TO BE MORE OPEN MINDED AND ACCEPTING. BLESS ME WITH A SPIRIT OF SERENITY AND UNDERSTANDING.. I AM THE POTTER AND YOU ARE THE CLAY. MAKE ME, MOLD ME, SHAPE ME, USE ME FOR YOUR GLORY, LORD.. I'M SO DESPERATE FOR YOUR GUIDANCE.. I LOVE YOU DEARLY FATHER... AND I ASK ALL THESE BLESSINGS IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF YOUR SON, JESUS CHRIST. THE ONLY SAVIOUR FOR ME.. IN HIS HOLY NAME I PRAY, AMEN.....



RANDOM THOUGHTS:


THE VIRTUES & VALUES OF TEMPERANCE:
WHEN WE HEAR THE TERM "SELF-CONTROL" , AMNY THOUGHTS COME TO MIND AND MANY QUESTIONS ARE ASKED. WHAT IS IT EXACTLY? HOW DO WE ACQUIRE IT? HOW DO WE EXECUTE IT? WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF IT? SELF-CONTROL BY PROPER DEFINITION IS RESTRAINT OR DISCIPLINED EXERTION OVER ONE'S IMPUSES, EMOTIONS, OR DESIRES. GOD INSTILLED IN US THE GIFT OF FREE WILL. FREE WILL IS A SEMI-SELF GOVERNING ACTION IS WHICH WE HAVE THE LIBERTY OF MAKING OUR OWN DECISIONS AND CHOOSING ANY LIFESTYLE THAT WE DESIRE. JOHN STATES IT AS THE DESIRES OF THE EYES OR THE PRIDE OF LIFE.
GALATIANS: 5:19-21 STATES:
"THE ACTS OF THE SINFULNATURE ARE OBVIOUS: SEXUAL IMMORALITY, IMPURITY,
AND DEBAUCHERY; IDOLATRY AND WITCHCRAFT, HATRED, DISCORD, JEALOUSY, FITS
OF RAGE, SELFISH AMBITION, DISSENTIONS, FACTIONS AND ENVY;
DRUNKENNESS, ORGIES, AND THE LIKE. I WARN YOU, AS I DID BEFORE, THOSE WHO
LIVE LIKE THIS WILL NOT INHEIRIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD."
WHEN VIEWED IN CARNAL NATURE, SELF-CONTROL AND SELF-DENIAL OR SACRIFICE SEEMS TO BE ESSENTIALLY NEGATIVE. THESE THINGS OFTEN OCCUR WHEN ONE WILLINGLY GIVES THEMSELVES UP FOR A MORE PROFITABLE OR MARKETABLE GAIN. THEY WILL TURN TO WORLDLY VICES FOR COMFORT AND STRAY AWAY FROM GOD.
HOW DO WE GAIN SELF CONTROL? FIRSTLY, PRAY AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. SECOND, CALL ON JESUS CHRIST TO BE LORD & SAVIOUR OF YOUR LIFE. THIRD, ASK GOD FOR WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT HE SETS OUT FOR US TO DO. SELF-CONTROL IS ANOTHER NAME FOR DISCIPLINE. WITHOUT DISCIPLINE UNDER GOD, ONE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RECEIVE HIS OR HER BLESSINGS THAT GOD HAS IN STORE.
TITUS 2:11-12 STATES:
"GOD'S GRACE BRINGS SALVATION UNTO ALL MEN. WE SHOULD SAY "NO" TO
UNGODLINESS & WORLDLY PASSIONS; LIVE UP TO SELF-CONTROLLED, UPSTANDING
AND GODLY LIVES IN PRESENT AGE."
TO EXECUTE SELF-CONTROL IS ONE OF THE MANY PLEASING THINGS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD. ONE WILL HAVE FEELINGS OF ACCOMPLISHMENT & ASSURANCE. THE ABILITY TO RESIST TEMPTATION IS NOT AN EASY TASK, BUT MATURE CHRISTIANS KNOW THE BENEFITS OF IT. WHEN CONFRONTED WITH A TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT HUMAN NATURE PRODUCES, THEN WE WILL BE ABLE TO CLEARLY SEE THAT THE FRUITS OF SELF CONTROL ARE POSTIVE. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE OUR SOULS. HIS SON HAS THE ABSOLUTE POWER. USE SELF-SELF CONTROL AS A RELIABLE TOOL FOR THE KINGDOM. USE THE TOOLS FOR GOOD AND SEE WHAT GOD WILL DO FOR YOU.....


THE STATE OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY:
IN THESE TRYING TIMES, I SEE HOW THE STRENGTH OF OUR PEOPLE IN A NUMBER OF FASHIONS. WE HAVE BECOME DOWNTRODDEN AND SUBJECTED TO MANY PROMINENT AND SUBLIMINAL MEANS OF HOSTILITY. DEPRESSION SEEMS TO HAVE MADE ITS WAY INTO OUR SPIRITS....OUR SOULS....AND OUR LIVES. WE HAVE TOTALLY LOST OUR MINDS. THE RECYCLABLE, HEINOUS CIRCLE OF SELF HATE. THE BLACK-ON-BLACK MURDER RATE IS SO OUT OF CONTROL WHY DO WE CONTINUOUSLY KILL OUR FELLOW BROTHER OR SISTER?? I CAN'T STAND READING A NEWS ARTICLE OR EVEN TURN ON THE TV WITHOUT HEARING ABOUT ANOTHER SENSELESS, BRAINLESS BLACK MAN OR WOMAN BEING THE PREDATOR OR THEY PREY. I'LL ADMIT THAT IT IS VERY HARD TO VIEW, AND ON OCCASIONALLY WILL BRING ME TO TEARS. WHERE IS OUR PRIDE?? WHERE IS OUR UNITY?? WHERE IS OUR SANITY?? WE'VE EVOLVED INTO IGNORANT, GREEDY, BARBARIC SAVAGES... IF THERE IS INDEED A REVOLUTION, I PRAY THAT IT WILL CERTAINLY WEED OUT THE WEAK FROM THE STRONG. BUT WE MUST CONTINUE TO EDIFY, EXHORT, AND ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. BLACK PEOPLE MUST COLLECTIVELY SIT AT THE TABLE AND COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS IN ORDER TO RESTORE OUR PEOPLE. I HAVE THE UTMOST RESPECT FOR OUR LEADERS. MANY OF THEM HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR OUR RIGHTS FOR DECADES, YET WE ARE STILL BATTLING THE ISSUES AND MORE THAT THEY DEALT WITH MANY YEARS BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE IT'S TIME FOR SOME NEW LEADERS TO BE AT THE FOREFRONT. SHARPER THINKING, A NEW BLACK AWARENESS AND CONSCIOUSNESS. FOR WE ARE A STRONG ARMY. WE NEVER STOP THE FIGHT. NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE GET KNOCKED DOWN, WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT LITTLE JOY IN OUR HEARTS. IT'S TIME FOR A NEW REVOLUTION.... THE RED, THE BLACK, & THE GREEN SHALL AND WILL PREVAIL....


MY LOVE FOR HIP HOP:
I CAN REMEMBER WHEN THIS BELOVED AND REVERED ART FORM HAD MEANING. I MAY BE YOUNG TO BE CONSIDERED A HIP HOP HEAD, BUT I CHOSE TO ROOT MYSELF IN THIS HIGHLY ESTEEMED CULTURAL MOVEMENT EARLY. WHEN I WAS 4 YEARS OLD, MY YOUNG EARS FIRST HEARD N.W.A.'S "F*** THA POLICE". FROM THAT MOMENT ON, I FELL IN LOVE AND BEGAN MY JOURNEY INTO THE ABYSS OF HIP HOP. I LOOK AT THE CURRENT STATE OF IT TODAY AND I SEE NOTHING BUT PURE COONERY. I CAN'T EVEN STAND TO LISTEN TO THE RADIO NOWADAYS. SACCHARINE DANCES, TASTELESS LYRICS, AND SOPHOMORIC BEATS. A LACK OF SOCIO-POLITICAL CONSCIOUSNESS, OVER MATERIALISTIC. NO ORIGINALITY, CREATIVITY, OR SUBSTANCE. I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT. HIP HOP HAS SEEMED TO HAVE LOST ITS SOUL. HOWEVER, THE OLD SCHOOL WILL ALWAYS HOLD A STEADY FOUNDATION AMONG THE TRUE HEADS. HIP HOP ISN'T DEAD AT ALL....FAR FROM IT. BUT IT NEEDS A MASSIVE RESSURECTION. I AM FOREVER A DEVOTEE, STUDENT, AND DIEHARD ADMIRER OF IT'S ESSENCE. HIP HOP.......I LOVE YOU!!!!


THE COMPLEXITIES OF THE "MANDINGO COMPLEX":
WHEN WOMEN HEAR THAT PEJORATIVE YET AROUSING TERM "MANDINGO" THEIR FOCUS IMMEDIATELY SHIFTS TO THE BLACK MAN. BUT IT ISNT SIMPLY BECAUSE OF OUR OWN BEING, BUT SPECIFICALLY A REFERENCE TO OUR SEEMINGLY LARGER GENITALIA. FOR CENTURIES THIS MYTH HAS BOTH EMASCULATED AND DEPRECIATED THE BLACK MAN'S EGO. I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS ENTRY AFTER SCROLLING THROUGH TELEVISION CHANNELS. IM NOT A FAN OR ADMIRER OF TALK SHOWS OR REALITY (SCRIPTED) TV, BUT FOR A MOMENT I WAS SO FASCINATED WITH IT. THE BROTHAS ON THESE SHOWS LITERALLY THROW THEMSELVES TO WHITE WOMEN. AND THE WHITE WOMEN FALL FOR THEM. I'LL ADMIT, AS AMUSING TO SEE IT, IT'S ALSO A DISGRACEFUL DISGUST. MOST OF THE WHITE WOMEN I VIEWED ON THESE SHOWS WEREN'T AN OUNCE OF ATTRACTIVE. HOMELY, MEDIOCRE, AND UNFLATTERING. NOW.....GOING BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND. "MANDINGO" IS A JARGON OF THE MANDINKA PEOPLE OF WESTERN AFRICA. THIS SO-CALLED "BLACK MALE SEXUALITY" HAS BEEN USED REPEATEDLY AS A RACIST STEREOTYPE TO INSTILL FEAR AND HATRID FOR CENTURIES. SOME OF THE MOST SORDID AND BRUTAL INCIDENTS OF BLACK MEN HAVE BEEN STEMMED FROM THIS "FEAR". IRONICALLY, OR AS SOME MIGHT SAY PERVERSELY-------IT IS WHAT DRIVES A LOT OF WHITE WOMEN TO "SEX VACATIONS/TOURISMS" IN THE CARRIBEAN AND PARTS OF AFRICA TO GET A TASTE OF DARK MEAT. TO FLIP MY ARGUMENT AROUND.....HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN DO YOU KNOW, GENUINELY FANTASIZE ABOUT LAYING UP WITH A SWEEDISH, GREEK, NORDIC, ITALIAN, NORWEIGIAN, HISPANIC, OR GERMAN MAN?? YEA....I'LL LET YOU ANSWER IT......


THE DEFINITION OF BEING "REAL":
AS I HEAR THIS WORD IN ITS PRESENT STATE IN A NUMBER OF DEFINITIONS, ONE HAS MANY QUESTIONS COME TO MIND. QUITE FRANKLY, IT'S BOTH AMUSING AND APPALLING HOW SLAUGHTERED, MINCED, MISUSED, AND DILAPIDATED THE WORD HAS BECOME. BY DEFINITION, "REAL" MEANS NOT ARTIFICIAL OR FRAUDULENT; GENUINE OR IDEAL. ALSO FROM MY OWN ANALYSES, I DISCOVERED THAT PEOPLE WHO USE THE WORD FREQUENTLY ARE OFTEN ILLUSORY IMITATORS THEMSELVES. MY DEFINITION OF BEING "REAL".....FOLLOWING JESUS CHRIST, BEING A GOOD STEWARD, AND STAYING HUMBLE. WE'RE SO CAUGHT UP IN JUDGING THE NEXT PERSON THAT WE'RE NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO LOOK AT OURSELVES IN THE MIRROR. BEING REAL ISN'T THE AMOUNT OF MATERIAL POSSESSIONS YOU'VE ACQUIRED. NOT DEFINED BY MASCULINITY OR FEMINIMITY. BEING REAL IS LOVING OTHER WITH A CHRIST-LIKE HEART. GENEROUSITY, HUMILITY, AND HAVING AN OPENESS TO DIFFERENT VENUES. LEARN TO LOVE GOD FIRST, LOVE YOURSELF, AND LOVE OTHERS.....


THE MICHAEL JACKSON THEORY:
IN LIFE, VERY FEW INDIVIDUALS DESERVE THE TITLE GENIUS. IT'S EVEN RARER IN THE REALM OF MUSIC. ON JUNE 25, 2009......WE LOST ONE. MICHAEL JACKSON WAS TRULY IN A CLASS OF HIS OWN. HIS ARTISTRY WAS SO COMPELLING AND INNOVATIVE. BUSINESS-SAVVY AND HUMANE. HE LIVED A TUMULTUOUS AND EVENTFUL LIFE, BUT IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. MICHAEL WAS A PART OF US ALL....LIKE HIM OR NOT. THIS BLACK MAN WAS OUR PRIDE AND JOY. WHEN HE SUCCUMBED, PART OF MY CHILDHOOD LEFT TOO. HE WAS INDEED THE KING OF MUSIC... BROUGHT RACES AND CULTURES TOGETHER. BLACK MUSIC WONT EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN WITHOUT HIS PRESENCE. AN ANGEL WHOSE WINGS SPREAD ALL OVER US WITH GENUINE LOVE. I MISS HIS TERRIBLY AND HE WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON WITHIN ME. I'VE LOST A BROTHER, AND A FRIEND....BUT I KNOW HE'S IN HEAVEN SMILING DOWN UPON US ALL. MICHAEL JACKSON.....REST IN PEACE. MAY THE GOOD LORD WATCH OVER AND PROTECT YOU IN HEAVEN. 1958-2009......I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MICHAEL....


THE SOUL OF A BLACK WOMAN:
TIME AND TIME AGAIN, ONE WOMAN HAS BEEN THERE FOR US ALL. SHE'S BEEN BEATEN, MALIGNED, DISAPPROVED, DISPLACED, AND UTTERLY DISRESPECTED....REPEATEDLY. BUT THROUGH IT ALL, SHE'S NEVER LOST HER TOUCH.....SO BRAVE AND RESILIENT, A BONAFIDE FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. ALWAYS REGARDED AS BEING A QUEEN. SHE HAS EARNED THE CROWN, AND WEARS IT QUITE WELL. AS I LOOK AT THE CURRENT STATE OF THIS WOMAN TODAY, I SOMETIMES ASK MYSELF...."WHAT HAPPENED??" AND THAT UNIVERSAL QUESTION......"WHY?" TODAY, SHE HAS HER HEAD GASSED UP WITH ALL KINDS OF NEO-FEMINIST RHETORIC & IDEOLOGIES. WHY IS THIS WOMAN OF TODAY SO OBSESSED WITH BECOMING A "DIVA", "5-STAR CHICK" AND OTHER NONSENSICAL REFERENCES? LET US NOT FORGET THAT DIVAS WERE NOT IN THE MOTHERLAND FIRST. THEY SAT ON PEDASTALS....WHICH CAN EASY BE TOPPLED OR KNOCKED DOWN. BUT A QUEEN.......SITS UPON A STURDY THRONE. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WOMEN WE ONCE CALLED ON FOR HELP TO BE THE GLUE AND THE ROCK FOR OUR FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES? THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD HAS PLACED A HEAVY BURDEN ON HER. AS FANNIE LOU HAMER SAID IT BEST..........."I'M SICK AND TIRED, OF BEING SICK AND TIRED.." A WOMAN OF THIS CALIBER, YOU WOULD HAVE TO RESPECT HER LONGEVITY AND PERSEVERANCE. SHE HAS WEATHERED MANY STORMS, AND HAS YET TO FACE MANY MORE ON THE LONG ROAD AHEAD. I BELIEVE GOD BROKE THE MOLD WHEN HE CREATED THIS WOMAN. HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO CRUEL TO A WOMAN SO GENEROUS AND KIND? SHE IS WISE....AN INSTINCTIVE SURVIVOR. SHE CAN AND WILL MAKE SOMETHING FROM NOTHING. SHE IS A MOTHER, A GRANDMOTHER, A SISTER, AND AUNT. AND LET ME NOT FORGET HER BEAUTY.........IT'LL LEAVE ONE COMPLETELY SPEECHLESS. IT'S SO INDESCRIBABLE. THE LOVE SHE DISPENSES HAS ALWAYS BEEN UNCONDITIONAL. WHETHER SHE'S NURSING SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD OR TENDING TO HER OWN.... AND SHE HAS ALWAYS ALWAYS STOOD BESIDE HER NUBIAN COUNTERPART......I DONT KNOW OF ANY OTHER WOMAN WHO WOULD'VE TOLERATED ALL OF THE HELL WE'VE PUT HER THROUGH. EVEN I WILL ADMIT MY MISTAKES AGAINST THIS WOMAN.....BUT IM THANKFUL GOD HAS FORGIVEN ME. SHE REALLY IS GOD'S MOST PRECIOUS CREATION......AND AS PROVERBS 31 READS..."HER WORTH IS FAR MORE THAN THAT OF RUBIES.." THE UNDYING SPIRIT OF OUR ANCESTORS IS WITHIN HER.....A WARRIOR. SHE IS THE MOTHER OF ALL HUMANITY. DILLIGENT, PRICELESS, AND SELFLESS......BUT ABOVE ALL, SHE IS A CHILD OF GOD. BLACK WOMAN, I LOVE YOU.....THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DID FOR THIS BROTHA......



BLACK LOVE = BLACK WEALTH
BLACK LOVE = BLACK WEALTH
BLACK LOVE = BLACK WEALTH




BELOW IS SOME POETRY I HAD WROTE SOME YEARS AGO WHEN DEPRESSION WAS HITTING ME FROM ALL SIDES AND ANGLES. I HAVE BEEN HEALED BUT THERE STILL IS SOME STRUGGLE TODAY. SO YA'LL READ AND ENJOY

MY FAMILY,
I`M SORRY I HAVE TO CHOOSE THIS WAY
I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND
WHY I HAVE TO DOTHIS
TO ALL OF MY BEST FRIENDS,
THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP
YA`LL ARE NO LONGER HERE WITH ME
BUT YOUR MEMORIES LIVE ON WITH ME
TO THE ONE I LOVE.....
I SHOULD BLAME YOU
FOR ALL THE PAIN I FELT
BUT I`M NOT
CAUSE I KNOW IT`S NOT YOUR FAULT
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY
I FELL HARD FOR YOU
NOW IT`S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE
PLEASE DON`T BLAME ME FOR WHAT I`VE DONE
I KNOW....MY LIFE, IT`S NOT SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS.......


DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR TREATING ME WRONG,
IT`S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU LEAD ME ON.
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF FOR GETTING SO MAD,
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR MY BEING SO SAD.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS SAID AND DONE,
YOU ARE NOT THE REASON I AM HOLDING THIS GUN.
DO NOT TAKE BACK THE WORDS YOU SAID
YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO PUT THE BULLET IN MY HEAD.
DO NOT WISH YOU HAD MADE THIMGS RIGHT,
YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO DIED TONIGHT.
DO NOT REGRET THE TIME NEVER SPENT,
YOU DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANT.


WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR WHAT DO YOU SEE?
I SEE A LITTLE BOY STARING BACK AT ME
RINGLETS OF DEEP BROWN EYES AND SOFT LIPS
CRYING, CRYING, CRYING WITH A BROKEN HEART THAT DRIPS
PURE AGONY SHATTERED REMNANTS ON THE FLOOR
I THREW AWAY THE KEY BEFORE I LOCKED THE DOOR
IT`S ALL LIES, LIES, LIES THIS LIFE OF MINE I LIVE
YOUR LAUGHTER SURROUNDS ME AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE
I WAS NEVER LIKE YOU
I NEVER LAUGHED OR SMILED WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO
MY LIFE WAS FULL OF DARKNESS MY LIFE WAS FULL OF PAIN
MY LIFE WASFULL OF PEOPLE WHO LEFT ME DEAD IN THE RAIN
SO LET THE WORLD SURROUND ME
SO I CAN FINALLY BEGIN TO DIE
NOT NOW, I`M WORTHLESS
PLEASE DON`T SAY GOODBYE


THIS PAIN, THIS HURT
LOCKED AWAY IN MY HEAD
NOBODY KNOWS
HOW INSIDE I AM DEAD
BLOOD ON MY WRIST
THERE IS GLASS IN MY HAND
NOBODY KNOWS
THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND
THEY DON`TLISTEN
SO THEY CAN`T HEAR ME CRY
NOBODY KNOWS
I JUST WISH I COULD DIE
SHAKING FINGERS
GRASP THIS PLEA FOR RELEASE
NOBODY KNOWS
HOW THE PAIN WILL NOT CEASE
SADNESS BLEEDING
EMPTYING TO THEFLOOR
NOBODY KNOWS
I ALWAYS CRAVED FOR MORE
BLEEDING SLOWLY
UNTIL MY WOUND WILL CLOSE
DYING SLOWLY
NOBODY KNOWS.................


I HAVE IN MY HAND A SINGLE BLADE
AND PLACE IT AGAINST MY SKIN
I PRESS IT DOWN
AND THE CUT BEGINS
I CUT IT JUST RIGHT
I CAN`T SO IT TOO DEEP
NO ONE CAN SEE THE PAIN I DON`T WANT
SO I CAN`T MAKE THE CUT TO STEEP
NO ONEKNOWS THEPAIN I HAVE
I WILL NEVER LET IT SHOW
NO ONE KNOWS THE EVIL I HAVE
AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
EVERY CUT REPRESENTS
A SINGLE STRUGGLE IN MY HORRIBLE LIFE
EVERYONE ELSE SAYS THAT IN THEIR LIFE THEY TOO HAVE PAIN
BUT THEY`RE NOT THE ONES IN THE KITCHEN HOLDING THE KNIFE
TELL ME WHY I SHOULD LIVE, JUST ONE REASON
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW I FEEL?
NO ONE CAN HELP ME FEEL BETTER,
NO ONE WANTS TO HELP ME HEAL
IT WILL ALL BE OVER WAY TOO SOON
FROM YOUR LIFE I WILL SOON GO AWAY
YOU WOULDN`T LET ME INSIDE
SO THE LAND OF HELL IS WHERE I MUST STAY
SO LET`S JUST SAY THAT YOU HELPED ME HOLD THE BLADE
AND GUIDED IT TO MY SKIN
AND TOGETHER WE MADE ONE SINGLE CUT AFTER ANOTHER
AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT, A PATTERN KICKED IN
AND NOW I LAY HERE
JUST A BLOODY MESS
I RECEIVED NO HELP FROM YOU
MY ENTIRE LIFE WAS STRESS


DESPERATELY HOLDING
SOMETHING OUT OF REACH
TRYING HARD TO FIGURE WORDS
BUT THERE`S NO SPEECH
CONFUSED-THE ROOM IS SPINNING
FALLING ON HANDS AND KNEES
CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY
FROM THE INSIDE IT BLEEDS
BLACKNESS OVER