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Updated 03/03/2007



"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."

-Helen Keller



It has been a while, but unfortunately the message is not outdated. My people, we have a long way to go because I have not seen any changes from 2 yrs prior.

A lot of you out here brag/front about being real and liking real people. STOP IT....YOU`RE LYING!!!



Take a minute to ask yourself...is REAL what you really want?? You`re confused now, aren`t you? Of course you are. We all say that we want real people in our lives, we just wish we could meet that real man or real woman and it would be all good. You...that`s right YOU mess it up because when you meet that person, you think, man he/she is cool, but I really wish they didn`t talk like that or walk like that , look like that or live over "there". Can you recognize this in yourself yet, because I`m real, I can and I`m just as guilty of doing it one time or more in my life as the next person. Well, when you do that, you`re starting to produce a larger population of FAKES. Some of these fakes are victims of you....I`ll explain that to you.



Fakes are produced when one or more things about their appearance, background, personality,attire, or material status are rejected by someone they really care about or want to know. They think well maybe if I just do this thing differently somebody else will accept me for that and all of my other "REAL" qualities. Well, now you have shortchanged that person of their own self-worth, but not without them allowing you to.



(A lot of this starts at childhood and we are all too old for peer pressure.) For any teenagers reading this, take a lesson young and keep it with you eternally!!!



I am a firm believer in being a leader, not a follower and refuse to change any aspects of myself because they don`t suit the person that I may have a current interest in. If that person doesn`t have a current interest in me...so be it. Someone else will and that interest will be in the "TRUE ME" and not the "ME YOU WANT ME TO BE". Some of you out there know who I`m talking to, so cut the nonsense and be who you are and if you talk to me and don`t like what I have to say, don`t talk to me, I can only be who I am. This may be another reason to add to the list below.



"Never change yourself for anyone/anything and never settle for less than you deserve."

-----Wish4me


Many of you gentlemen have asked why is a lady like myself still single?? Well, you have asked no question I haven`t asked myself. You know, I cannot honestly say that I believe in the soulmate thing. I think some of us are truly destined to live our lives alone, although what you don`t realize is that you are never truly alone and no one person should make or break you. I will give you some of the reasons that I can think of:



1. I am very selective about with whom I deal and I have every right to be. I get vibes from people and if they are not good, I don`t pursue. I am generally right on target with these vibes, but lately my judgement has been a little cloudy. Had to calibrate it though, I think I`m back on point now.



2. I am a very nice person and most men take that for a weakness and screw me around or just flat out don`t take me seriously because I am nice.



3. I am very successful ,independent, and have goals which span beyond what I`m going to wear tomorrow and what color to paint my toes and this intimidates a lot of my brothers. I`m always hearing "You don`t need me."



4. Although I am nice, my tolerance for playas, liars, mama`s boys, stupid people and want to be pimps is very low, damn near non-existent. I refuse to play the game.



5. A lot of brothers do not want a respectable woman with a mind of her own and good morals and values. They want someone in the club in the hoochie gear that they can take home and screw their brains out tonight and never call again....sorry playa, that is not me.



6. I think I look too hard/deep to find the good in people and sometimes it is just too deep to bring to the surface. I believe in people too much sometimes and often more than they believe in themselves. My biggest problem is I always think I can help someone in some way, which often times clouds my judgement.



WHEN I THINK OF ANY MORE, I WILL ADD TO THIS LIST. BROTHERS IF YOU HAVE ANY INPUT....GIVE IT UP. I`M ALWAYS OPEN TO THE MALE PERSPECTIVE.



Q&A for my Sisters?



1. Why do alot of you feel you need a man to define you? Find yourself before finding a man.



2. Why do you feel you need a man to take care of you? Treat yourself the way you wanted to be treated, in other words if a man sees you are taking care of yourself, he might want to do the same or help you, don`t act like he owes it to you or should do it. This doesn`t mean robbing your children`s piggy banks and not paying the light bill or rent to get your hair done and your nails done every week, and buying the latest outfit that 10 others will have on @ the club. This means handling business, paying the bills, taking care of your child/children for those that have them, stop looking for a Daddy for them,make the one they have take care of them. Get a backbone and take this brother to court if he is not doing what he should, at least let him know he is not getting over. For those who have good men taking care of their children, don`t abuse it, don`t take advantange of it,if you are not still together, his responsibility is to that child, not to you. Stop with the Baby-Mama Drama, it gives us all a bad name. Also while I am on that, why do some of you keep letting the same man knock you up 2,3,4 times and he never took care of the first one, while he is running free with no responsibilities, you will always be Mama. Come on, it cant be that good, but if it is, invest in Trojan, Magnums or something, heck pop a pill, take a shot.



With that said, I don`t know what you care to know about me. I like to think that I`m a very down-to-earth, honest, strong,and independent black woman. My pride and joy comes from my achievements and the achievements of my son. There is no truer reward than to realize a goal set and long worked for. Keep it real beautiful black people or people of all colors for that matter, stay positive and reach for the sky.

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