Let me tell you guys a story...so once upon a time I worked at this place. The place had a plethora of handsome men, but one in particular caught my eye. I mean, anyone who knows me know that I am not fixated on what the masses consider "handsome". I have my own criteria and it is not solely based on looks. I digress. This one guy who caught my eye may be what the masses considered "handsome" but I liked how he dressed and the professional swagger he had about him. Not to mention whenever I passed him he always smelled so good (clean, kempt, articulate and smelling good are weaknesses of mine).
I never spoke to Mr. Handsome because anytime I saw him in passing I would be busy with work or he would be speaking to someone. So no opportunites presented itsself. I did notice that Mr. Handsome would go over everyday & speak with another guy I am mad cool with (JUST cool with!). So I told Mr. Mad Cool "Hey, you know the dude that works over in the other department. Is he single? I think he is CUTE". He said dude was single and blah blah and said that he was going to let him know what I said, as if threatening me. I was like "I am no punk and would've told him myself but the opportunity never presented itsself".
So sure enough, within about 30 minutes I receive an interoffice IM from an unknown source and it was him. He typed "Mr. Mad Cool said that you told him you thought I was cute and asked about me". I confirmed what he was told. So after two or three questions I gave Mr. Handsome my number.
Mr. Handsome NEVER called me on his own. It seemed he would always have Mr. Mad Cool call to see what I was doing on the weekend and if he, me, Mr. Mad Cool & my bestie wanted to meet up (I was trying to fix Mr. Mad Cool up with my best friend). Meeting up never came to fruitiion. Mind you, I would see Mr. Handsome around the office still...he would flash me one of those cheeseball smiles and strut by like he thought he was the shiznick.
I want to express that him never calling me directly never bothered me. Sometimes we are attracted to people who are not attracted to us. Those are the facts of life. Or maybe he was too busy to call or maybe he was just not interested in calling. No biggie. But the 3rd party efforts to "hook up" let me realize that he had no honorable intentions between he and I.
So, probably two months after this incident, I changed employers. Mind you, Mr. Handsome was a distant memory as of the day after I gave him my number. Plus his strut by my desk like he thought he was melting my heart made me see him in a new light. An unsexy light. Fast forward six months... out of the blue Mr. Handsome text messages me. Here is our exchange verbatim:
Him: Hey girl. What's up?
Me: Hello. Who is this?
(Mind you, I did not have his number saved in my phone. Hell, I am not going to hold onto a number of someone who does not call me. Not to mention "Hey Girl!" sounds like something a FEMALE would text to another woman!)
Him: U give your number to everybody?
Me: Seriously, is that called for? I have friends & family whose numbers are not saved in my phone. You can either tell me who you are or not text me. Choice is yours
Him: This is K####. You gave me your number when you worked at ###. I am ##### friend.
Me: Do you know how long ago it was that I gave you my number and you are just now texting AND expect me to know whose number it is?
Him: Do you want a picture of me? You told my friend you thought I was fine & you know you want me. Maybe a picture will jog your memory and soften you up some. If I send you a pic you have to send me one too, deal?
Me: I know who you are and what you look like, so I don't need a pic. To be truthful, you have come off rather arrogant from day 1 of me telling ### that I thought you were CUTE. That is so unsexy to me. Plus u never used the # when I gave it to you so I didn't stress it. But that was soooo long ago
Him: Take it easy. I am using it now.
Me: Trust, I am not spazzing. Just stating facts luv, since you think I give my number to everyone
Him: It was a joke about you giving your num to everybody. So you have my attention now. What are you going to do with it?
Me: I have a short attention span when it comes to bs. So you can spare me luv. Share that attention with someone who wants it. You have a great life daddy & you can loose my number. Thanks!
Seriously, who the funk does this guy think he is? LMAO. I said he was CUTE. Now he is on some Denzel mess and thinking that I can be an afterthought! See, situations like this makes me wonder if women should approach men. Do men think we are desperate or lusting after them when we make the first move? I am not a homely person by far. Where in the original exchange did he think it was okay to dismiss me & think that he would be okay to contact me NINE MONTHS later like a ragdoll? I wonder what Mr. Mad Cool said to him truly.
The moral of the story for me is: His arrogance is such a turn off. There is a difference from being confident to being cocky or arrogant. I believe he assumed that I thought he was God's gift. From the cheesey grin and corny finger guns he would shoot at me in passing, to the out of the blue text message MONTHS later confirms my suspicion. Also, this speaks volumes to his level of maturity. Why couldn't he accept the compliment and push on? Or better yet, if he was not 'feeling me', why not just say so & not think that it was okay to have me as an afterthought? So many questions.
I have never been afraid to approach a man out and about that I found attractive. I know that women are supposed to be demure and wait for a man to come 'rescue' them...but my philosphy is "I'd rather choose than to be chosen". I love being approached, don't get me wrong. But women are born with this wonderful, natural, six sense. We can rely on our gut feeling. IF I see you and I approach you, I already know what my alterior motive is and I have firmly placed the ball in my court. Hell, I am the team captain of the situation.
Okay, that is my rant for the day. Enjoy!
