Cloud_47's Blog

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the
New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy,
are these funny!!!



1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started
to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an 'idiot'.

5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to
achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it
all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week.

11. It's impossible to believe the one sperm that created this child, beat
out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.

--------------------

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the
country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after
awhile."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop!"

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

------------------------------ ----

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?"
Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget.. he didn't lose your number.. he didn't die.
He just didn't want to call you.

Men hate to lose.

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge,
If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you.. I want to marry you.. I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes.

How to speak about women and be politically correct:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
10. She does not NAG - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
11. She is not a %#&@$! - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
12. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
13. She is not a TWO-BIT %#&@$! - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
How to speak about men and be politically correct:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
6. He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK - he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - he has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

You know, since this song has been out, I could not figure out why I always
cringed at this song. Now I know why. Read what I found out when I
Googled this song:

Soulja Boy has stormed on the scene with a dance and a string of weak
rhymes in his hit "Crank That." The 17-year-old rapper may have gained the
backing of label executives tossing cash at the self-proclaimed "Teen of da
South" and artists who undermine their credibility by performing the "Crank
That" dance onstage, but real hip-hop heads know that Soulja Boy is an
embarrassment to the genre.

Now, however, it seems that in addition to being lyrically asinine, the
young "rapper" popular with children is referring to a vulgar sex act when
he uses the phrase "Superman that h@e," as in the "Crank That" chorus.

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me YUUUUUUA
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)...
Now Watch Me YUUUUUUA
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)...

The phrase is also used in a verse:

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
Super Man Dat Hoe
Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop

Later he mentions something about "super soaking," which should make s ense
once you know what it truly means to "Superman a H@e":

I'm Bouncin On My Toe
Watch Me Super Soak Dat Hoe

Initially, "Superman that H@e" seemed like an offensive but mostly
meaningless phrase. In actuality, however, the phrase appears to refer to a
vulgar sexual act. Ironic, considering that many of Soulja Boy's biggest
fans are teens and tweens whose parents obviously don't pay enough
attention to what their children listen to.

According to several websites, "Superman That H@e" means this: When, as a
male, a girl you are with refuses to have sex with you, you wait until she
falls asleep. Then you masturbate, ejaculate on her back, and stick the
sheet to your semen (now on her back) so that when she wakes up in the
morning, the sheet is stuck to her back like a cape. Hence you have
"Supermanned" her.

About what you'd expect from someone whose catch phrase is "YUUUUUUUUUA!"

It appears to be a growing trend that single mother's raising children allow their grown kids to live at home with them(especially the boys). Its a given that responsibility is what takes us thru life, but young men in their 20s living under momma is a definite no no, and this is one of the reasons why women have such a hard time finding real men whom are willing to be responsible as men. Tomorrow is not promised to us and if mother died tomorrow, your son would be lost in how to make it thru life without you, its getting tougher and tougher for women to find real men.Ladies, raise your young boys to be responsible and they will be more than happy to leave the nest when they become young men at 18.