Scurvin's Blog

I was up really for no other reason than to bring in my birthday as I do every year by staying up until the time I was born at 5:34 a.m. on April 8th, this time it was 50 years ago in 1963.

On nights like this for as long as I can remember, I could never fall asleep until the clock told me that it was 5:34, afterward, I can never recall when I dosed off as my mission was complete.

I knew 50 years ago as soon as I was born that I was to be a revolutionary of sorts because I was smacked hard by this mean White man in the first few seconds of life at the Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital directly across the street from where Malcolm X was shot in the Audubon Ballroom. LOL! Just a joke y’all!

But where my other birthdays breezed past me without much regard because of the arrogant juices of youth that flowed through my veins, this time was different because I can see and feel my mortality as we all begin to figure out that we just won’t live forever.

It’s funny how a few decades worth of memories in your mind can teach you about life in your most quiet moments when you take the time to reflect. It’s almost like those last few bites of a delicious and favorite meal that’s coming to an end where you slow down to enjoy each bite in comparison to when you you shoved the food down out of hunger. The less food that’s on the plate is the more valuable each bite now becomes.

What I’ve found at this particular junction point in my life personally is that you enjoy the often overlooked things in life even more so as you get older if you do a few things right. I’ve always been one to absorb the scenario around me in all of it’s graphic detail, but what many around me probably don’t know is that I enjoy each of those moments more so than most!

…….and this is how I’ve been from my younger ages and this is how I can share a prior experience down to great detail and make a simple task like taking out the garbage compare to a big screen cliff hanger blockbuster star studded movie.

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What an inspiration the President is! We must look at his words on a human level aside from all things political! But the sad part is that many won’t because of their narrow mindedness but we who understand the vision must continue to forge forward regardless…….

Those were a few of the words that I shared on several social media platforms as I watched and enjoyed the Presidential Inauguration of President Barack Obama on this beautiful historic day.

It was a wonderful ceremony that captivated any other that I have ever had the opportunity to watch because not only my broader awareness of the things in the world, but because of where we find ourselves in history with the unique challenges we have staring us in our collective faces in such an urgent manner.

Sure, as citizens of this country and human beings in this world, we will probably always have differences in philosophy and viewpoints, but we have to understand that whatever decisions are made politically will affect us all no matter how we feel.

Politics is merely one of the vehicles that will help us to ascend to a better world as we must digest the fact that we have more power than we think we have. Too many of us underestimate our influence on those around us and therefore vaporize the importance of our unique positions granted to us.

Too many of us get caught up in the hair splitting on the issues and lose our vision and realization that we all breath the same air and drink from the same cup of water when it comes down to it. Death comes for everyone so therefore we need to make better use of our time while on this earth to improve our condition by submitting to the divine law of the Creator Himself.

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I woke up on the first day of 2013 feeling so very good.

In part I think it’s because I slept for at least nine plus hours and since I haven’t had that kind of sleep for so long it felt as though I was a new man.

I finally had the luxury on this free day to surf the internet (Watching some classic boxing matches on YouTube!) as well as eating at leisure never really consuming a full meal but picking here and there at what my culinary laboratory afforded me, and to climb back into the bed even if was for no more than 20 minutes at a time to top off my already euphoric state of being that I have now pledged to maintain constantly for the rest of my life.

But while that was merely the physical component of my refreshed existence, the other parts that were not as evident and obvious in my great spirits I would attest to the fact that I had made peace with a few loose strings in my life that needed to be dealt with and therefore they ceased to weigh me down mentally as well as spiritually.

So it was more so my ability to self correct my dealings with some personal issues that changed the outlook on my life from my perspective which freed me up to see the beauty of the world that is around me in great abundance. This is why I titled this blog article like I did because in my self exploration I can really see how we drag our same old issues, drama, hangups and mainly PEOPLE from one year to the next.

But to tell you the truth it is not really about the time span of a complete year, but how we approach every single day of our lives that makes the difference in the quality of existence that we will eventually enjoy. If we took a year to realize that there were major things that needed to be altered in our inner circle then we would never elevate our lives the way we should and it would probably be on a high speed downward plunge in no time.

This is why I never really subscribed to the notion that things should be tended to resolution and commitment wise only on New Year’s Day or New Year’s Eve.

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 Many who have migrated to the shores of the United States of America have shared these same thoughts when striving to improve the quality of their life through hard work.

While many who were born and raised in America will never know how much of a fight it can be sometimes to even make it through the grueling immigration process to finally get here, the general feeling is that most do not understand how many opportunities are here and take for granted the things here that are so freely given away.

So when

Think again before you answer the question that the title of this program asks!

Too many of us on will say one thing publicly to be politically correct but will turn around and say something completely different under their breath when no one else is around.

This program is not about whether someone thinks that one who is living an LGBT (Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender) lifestyle is right or wrong, it's about how we'll react to the news that we've found out that one of our good friends are gay?

Now for the sake of simplicity and brevity, I am speaking of the entire "LGBT" community when I utilize the term "Gay" in this show topic explanation but I do know the difference.

How would you feel if someone rejected you because of something that they've found out about you that may not have been very public or well known?

If a person loves you for who you are and you claim to love them as a friend, then why should it make a difference WHAT they do behind closed doors in their private sexual intimate life?

If a friend rejects you because you shared your lifestyle preference to them were they really and truly a real friend all along or was it based on a superficial premise that really wasn't about the unconditional love for another human being but on a narrow minded mentality that will limit their walk in life and the human experience on this earth?

Can a rejected friendship based on an ignorant shallow issue ever be repaired to its former bond ever again?

What kind of pressure does this put on someone who feels that they must keep their lifestyle out of the public eye in the fear that their most cherished friends would just never understand that they are no different because of their revelation into their private life?

This program is for mature audiences only as we will be very graphic in our dialogue but do understand that intelligent respectful dialogue will prevail & will be strictly enforced no matter what your stance may be.

You have to be thankful for where you are because where you are is a culmination of every choice that you made and every decision that you took and although things could have been better or worse you are still in the game of life and can ascend to greater heights!

To many of us waste too much time speculating on what could have been when that same time can be spent on creating something great that WILL BE!

If your present reality irks you to the point of complaining and your feet are not moving toward taking any action to change that present reality then YOU are to blame for it if it remains the same and are NOT at liberty to complain about it.

So many of us have turned ourselves in complaining chatterboxes that are not moved to action and seem to want everyone in their midst to join in on the chorus of helplessness. Whenever you see a collective gathered to chime in on their negative situations I say RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN because nothing positive will ever come out of such a gathering except some twisted validated reason to be MORE negative with even LESS action!

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When the news of the passing of actor and celebrity Michael Clark Duncan came to me, it was a shock in some respects because of the strength he exuded physically and that overall picture of health that he appeared to be.

Now granted, he did mention that he had health issues that he did not specify exactly or go into any detail of what they were but I never got the feeling that his life was in danger even after he was on a respirator after suffering a heart attack this past July.

But I guess that one is on me because anyone else I would feel probably wouldn’t make it but because of the image that I had in my head about him I always felt he would pull through.

Now usually when I write about someone who passed away I try to do it in a way that is slightly different because of the tsunami of articles and blogs out here that will begin to sound redundant in the manner that they continue to belch up the same facts over and over.

I won’t waste my or your time doing that today.

But let me share with you the message that came to me this morning upon waking up after the news of his passing had a time to settle in on my subconscious mind…….

Michael Clark Duncan was a picture of overwhelming strength and was a larger than life character mainly because his kind and mannerable personality betrayed the brute force of might that he obviously possessed, the man was a certified gentle giant!

While I am quite sure that he dealt with his health issues accordingly, I began to think about all of those who I know who don’t really get their regular checkups or even go to the doctor at all because as they will tell you that they “feel good!”

Feeling good at the moment doesn’t give anyone an indication as to the state of their health and it is a poor litmus test of ones physical state because things can hit us so suddenly and we can be here today and gone tomorrow so quickly.

We not only have to be thankful of every moment that God blesses us with but we also have to understand that we have a hand in keeping ourselves here a little longer and that is a direct result of how we take care of ourselves and maintain our health.

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This is a statement that I've been hearing all of my life and have NEVER heard anyone give a good enough answer yet to satisfy the curiosity stoked by the question. So, I've decided to get down in it myself and invite everyone in the LanceScurv family and beyond to chime in so we can put this age old dilemma to rest!

So is it really true that people change once in a relationship?

Maybe they do and maybe they don't but one thing I have to say about it is that we have to understand that there are so many various factors that making an individual who they are and we can't use the same set of standards on one situation that we would use on another.

Now THIS is what I want to get to the bottom of, is it change or is it their lack of communicating their dislike for a certain aspect of their relationship which caused them to shut down and isolate their unknowing half to the point where they have no choice but to SAY that they changed?

You see, this is much more of a complicated issue than we think and one that we need to get a grasp on if we are in a relationship that we have invested heavily into and want to keep forever or are intending one day to find ourselves deep in that "everlasting thing" that is ours and ours exclusively.

Either way, we need to understand human nature at its grimiest in order to manifest that same nature into displaying itself at its BEST!

But you and I have heard of the complaints and maybe we were the originator of a few of them:

"She used to sex me down everyday and now all she does is nag me about the bills and how I don't pick up after myself!"

"He used to take me on shopping sprees every weekend and wine and dine me but all he wants to do is stay at home and watch football while drinking beer!"

"Once she said "I DO" to me, that fine pretty young "thang" that stole my heart because of the way she took care of herself let herself go and blew up to somebody that doesn't even LOOK like the person I married!

" He waited on me hand and foot at first, but after a few years all he wants to do is stay locked up in the office late at night jerking off and watching porn like I don't know what he is in their doing! And when I want some loving from him he is too tired to stand up because he beats it down so much! what happened?"

"She was so responsible at first when we hooked up, but as soon as she got a hold of my credit cards, she has no control and it is only ME working all this overtime to catch up on the foolishness that she charges up every damn weekend!"

"I met him at church three years ago and married him last year but in the last two months I am finding out so many things about him and his past that I never knew and he never told me, if I knew these things beforehand I would have NEVER even given him sixty seconds of my time! That BUM!"

Trust me everyone, I can go on forever in sharing the things that I hear about that disgruntled and frustrated mate that feels as though their so called significant other has pulled the "bait and switch" on their heart once they knew that they were at the point of no return!

Perhaps you've gone through some similar twists and turns in your life that has given you an insight on what this phenomenon is all about when someone switches up on you after they get into the committed relationship.

Is it a figment of the imagination or is this a real concern because as each passing year goes by it seems as though the divorce courts are jammed and the divorce lawyers are becoming overworked and happily overpaid!