SquattyB's Blog

You say you felt so empty inside that night, When he did you wrong. You felt like crying but instead... You decided to get me on the phone. We've both been through a lot in our life, And All I want for you is Joy. But let's not kid ourselves We both are curious to know how it would be if I was your boy It seems inevitable that we'd be more than just friends. And I hate to just sit back as you cry over again? Because whenever I look at you, I see me. I see us rejuvinating passions that some say can no longer be. We can go on a path of seperate endeavours. Or we can spice up each others life and be happy together. Takes walks on the Beach, Make love in the sand. Or sit and say nothing just staring at each other and holding hands. I often sit back and wish just for a kiss But I'd settle for a hug as you are reading this I know you are his so I should let the dream go But if you were to ask me if I was to ever stop having this dream. The answer is and will always be emphatically NO!!!

This is me and I'm using my voice as a to change lives not just words. For the first time in my life my voice is more than just a sound. To long its just been a sound never reaching an ear just hittin' a brick wall and falling to a hollow ground. Like my ancestors who's voices cried out daily but got stepped on like pavement or played with like a ball and no they didnt have ghostbusters to call. So god sent them Harriet Tubman who was a rebel in the game, and used her voice and said all aboard this train. And with her voice the train traveled the underground railroad all the way to north. But like always even most her words fell on def ears. So for years and years my people went back to crying for help and shedding tears. but def ears cant hear you weap and in the south your skin meant you were as worthless as sheep, or should i say coon. For many moons we stayed opressed. We tried so hard for so long. They kept us down for so long the the Opressed became depressed. Then and he had a dream. God sent another voice by the name of Martin King. Non violent Non violent we shall over come. But before his dream played out he died by way of a gun. But at that very time another voice screeched. By any means necessary was the words brother Malcolm preached. His voice was so powerful even other black voices sought to destroy. And before he free'd his people. " Get your hand out my pocket." They killed that boy. That leads us to me you see if it is to be it's up to me. My nation is falling apart my people are shaming their mama. But in this election year Imma use my voice and vote for Obama. I know even he can't help us all So Imma heel us at the root. You see we are the tree and our young black kids are the fruit. Call me johnny appleseed because i see No bad apple, grape or pear. Just little black kids who's biggest needs and desire is for an adult to care. See My voice is a calming voice to those kids soul. And if I can effect just one life that's my goal. Ask yourself this, "What are you using your voice for?"

Little black girl at home with mom and her friend. Her mom is in the room knocked out from gin. Black girl crying afraid of what's to come. A knock at her door from moms friend who's drunk. She screams go away but the man don't care. She tries to runaway be he pulls her by her hair. Kicking and screaming she tries with all her might, but guy is too strong, hell on earth was tonight. A day later she tells her mom but the bitch wouldn't listen. Two days later back in school, but the young girls missing. She ran away because she knew her mom didn't care. 2 years later a new job, and a new head of hair. Little black girl done grew up in the streets, she's stripping for cash shaking her ass to the beat. She comes home to her nigga who beats on her for fun. She sit there and take it waiting for a new day to come. All this could have been avoided if her dad was a man. Instead 18 years ago he ran as fast as he can. You see as a nigga I care bout shit, In my world nothing would ever happen like this. You a coward if you think that abusing women is fun, a bitch made nigga if you get a woman pregnant and run. Moms rasied me by herself because my dad's a ho. A woman raising a man that's not how it's supposed to go. So to all the men who rape these women. Fuck you I hope you burn in hell, and you soul never forgiven.

Do I know anyone with this story no. Does it matter? No. Just some shit I'm steaming about. I read an article today on this very thing, and it got me thinking. So again fuck all you niggas that's with that dumb shit when it comes to life and women. If you a real man don't put your hands on her, come try and put your hands on me and I'll be gladly to punch you in the fucking face. Goodnight!!!!

This is a P.S.A:

*for those of you who do not know what that stands for, it means public service announcement*

Alot of you may know that I have been going through alot in my life. I lost three friends and former teammates. One i considered to be a younger brother or lil cousin. I have also lost my aunt. all of this within the last 7 months. I'm not looking for sympathy; However for those of you who actually looked out and made sure I was ok I thank you.

It seems tha alot of people are in your life for whatever reason. If you don't know why a certain person is in your life, than i say they aren't exactly in your life, but just around your life. The reason I say this is, one If someone is in your life you and that person both know why your paths crossed. If someone is around your life "like alot of your myspace friends" then it's much harder to explain exactly why your paths crossed and why did they even need to cross to begin with.

I have been doing alot of crying, thinking, and praying, and thinking this last few months. I have come to realize that I hold on to the wrong things in life. I chase the wrong dreams. I turn away the few things that were actually good for my life. Alot of you that are reading this is exactly the wrong things I have been holding onto. No more!!! no more will i sit back and life pass. No more will is hold onto something that is trash. For all you fake ass friends, I say kick rocks. If i haven't attempted to hit you up in the past few months, then you aint really in my life. For those of you who I have tried to reach out too while in need of just a ear or a shoulder and you shunned me, or just flat out ignored me. i say to you god bless you, but you are no longer in my life. just another person around my life.

I have this one friend that I think of whenever I think life is bad. It's a female. I look at her, and how she's living her life, knowing what she knows about her health and it's remarkable. I mean if i had to endure half the things she has to deal with I would probably be curled up in my bed somewhere waiting on my moms or a family member to care for me hand and foot. But she keeps on kicking living life enjoying it too the fullest. I love that about her. I love her spirit. So when I sit back and think about life, I have to realize that I am blessed, we are all blessed. Even though life seems to be crashing down, remember that strength and courage begins with the lord. How about the very next time you feel down and out, drop down to your knees and pray. maybe it's a ten minute prayer, maybe its a ten second prayer. maybe you are like me , and you pray hard even though it appears you are sitting around doing nothing. The lord knows all of us individually. He knows our personalities, Our strengths and weaknesses. He wouldn't have sacrificed his only begotten son for us, if he didnt expect us to fail. In my life I have failed the lord numerous times, i continue to be the best christian I can be, and i keep god first always. I am nowhere near perfect. I am not this holy person you all know that, but I keep my close relationship with the lord, and at the end of the day through him i feel accomplished and happy. To all of my friend the ones that are in my life, I love you all, and i cherish the moments we have shared. i tell you all this because you never know when its your time. I never got to tell John haggerty bye, I never got to tell bubba i loved his jokes and I love him. I never got the oppurtunity to tell Avery Atkins that no matter what route in life he chose I would never look at him different. And one thing i am kicking myself for is I never got to tell auntie Teresa that I thought other than my mom that she was the strongest woman I ever knew. So again to all of my friends I love ya'll I cherish all of you, and lets not be scared to to be a better human!!!

If you read this please leave a comment!!

Listen people there are a few things that makes a man. First off a man would never leave his children and run. A man knows that even in the darkest situations He has the ultimate responsibility of making sure that his kids are taken care of. Im not just talking about buying foods or diapers or clothes, Im talking about being there when the kid needs him, Picking them up from school, spending some one on one time with them. Boys run at the first sign of trouble. Boys spend more times with their homeboys then with their children. A man would never cheat on his girl. He would look forward to coming home to her. He would show her he appreciates her everyday not just on mothers day, christmas, valentines day, and her birthday. A man would go out and buy flowers just cause. A man would ask ifhis womanhad a rough day around the house and would rub his wife's feet even though he was the one that was at work all day. A boy well a boy would rather try to make his homeboys think he is a 'playa'. he would go and try to ***k everything walking, and get mad if his woman looks at a celeb on tv. A boy would come home a plop down in one spot for the night,While a real man makes sure his domain is in good condition. A real man makes money for the family or for him and his girl. A boy makes money to buy useless items to boost thier low self asteem. If u consider yourself a man, can you honestly say that you do all of these things? I can. Can you?