1ash5's Blog

i still can't believe that you are gone, my heart still hurts. no one can take the place of an angel that was taken from earth. i love you dearly and i miss you sincerly. you were my boo, and my boy, i will be strong cause you are safe, but i crycause you are no longer here. so see you later my friend i will love you til thee end.RIP TORREY {WIPE ME DOWN } smith i love you always ashley

WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE TO ME, I WEAR LIKE A STAR ON MY CHEST. YEAH YOU HAVE HURT ME,BUT WHAT YOU DON'T IS THAT YOU HAVE MADE ME STRONGER.YOU HAVE HURT MY BODY,BUT YOU DIDN'T HURT MY PRIDE.WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS THAT I AM STRONGER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN.. I AM A STRONGER PERSON BECAUSE OF MY PAIN, IS A PART OF ME.YOU CAN'T STOP ME.I HAVE MUCH TO DO, I WON'T LET MY PAST PAIN HURT ME, AND STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I SET OUT DOING.MY SCARES ARE WHAT MAKES ME WHO I AM , I AM A STRONG WOMAN, I AM ONE WHO HOLDS MY FUTURE IN MY HANDS. I AM ME. NO MORE PAIN , NO MORE HURT NO MORE TEARS , NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE.MY SCARES ARE PART OF ME, MY SCARE ARE WHAT MAKES ME ,ME

EVEN THOUGH WE AREN'T TOGETHER ANY MORE, MY HEART STILL FLIPS 4-U. JUST TO SEE A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, OR EVEN HEAR THAT SILLY GIGGLE YOU DO.BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACE.SEEING THIS MAN WHO ONCE STOOD BEFORE ME AS A BOY,NOW A MAN,OH HOW GROWN UP HE IS NOW.THIS MAN I ONCE HAD STRONG FEELINGS FOR.NOW SMILING AT ME, WITH SUCH LOVE IN HIS EYES STILL.ARE YOU THE MAN I NEED TO BE WITH. ARE YOU ARE YOU ARE YOU.

Who is this that stands before me.You look me in thee eyes, this man i love.But behind those loving looks ,is a man who hides such darkness.You hold me in your arms, but with each squeeze there is darkness.You tell me you love me,and with each word behind it there was such hate.Who knew that this man who swore that you love me for ever,is hurting me so much.This man i love is trying to kill me.This man i love is holding me in a way that i can't scream.This man i use to make love to is now beating me until i blackout.This man i love is screaming at me.This man that i love is holding me down on the floor.Ripping my soul out of my body.This man i love doesn't know that i am carrying his unborn child.This man i love who helped me produce this life out of love, is now taking this life way from me.This man who i love has taken our child's life ,and i am slowly loosing mine.He was a man who was suppose to share his love with me, took his anger out on me.His demons where the cause that he couldn't open up to me. His secrets were my demise. this was written out of pain......ASHLEY

I try not to be like you.I strive not to become the woman you are.But i fall into the traps you feel in.I say that i wont act like you.But i act like you in some situations.I say that i really don't need a man, like you did.But i am scared to be alone.I say that i won't turn out like you.But i see myself following in your foot steps.I have before me curse.i am cursed to be like my mother.I am cursed to feel less than a woman, if i don't have a man.I am cursed to be a woman with pain in my heart.I am cursed to feel like no one gives a damn about me.Cursed to be in the shadows of a woman who left me.Cursed to feel unloved by my mother .Left in a hospital alone after birth on mother in sight, or to ever return.Cursed to feel unwanted.Cursed to have hidden my feelings, deep down inside.Afraid to show who i really am to the world.Scared to let anyone love me.This woman who bore me, has left me with this curse.One that she won't take away.One that she won't admit too.A curse that i VOW i wont pass on to kids,especially my daughters.This generational curse my mother has left on me and my sisters,stops here with me.No other woman in my family will have to be cursed. It is NOW BROKEN. THIS POEM IS DEDICATED TO MY LATE GRANDMOTHER. WHO TOLD ME TO KEEP MY HEAD UP, AND FIND MY VOICE IN THIS WORLD. BABY I AM ALMOST THERE.YOU HEAR ME CALLING ..................ASHLEY

I WAS WONDERING IF ANYONE OUT THERE WAS LIKE ME. DO YOU BELIEVE IN A LOVE THAT HOLDS NO GROUND TO ANY OTHER TYPE OF LOVE. WHEN YOU MEET OR SEE SOME ONE YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT PERSON IS THE ONE.YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR HEART THAT HE OR SHE IS YOUR SOUL MATE.ITS LIKE YOUR HEART AND THERE HEART BEAT AS ONE, YOU KNOW THAT PERSON SO WELL THAT YOU KNOW WHAT THE ARE THINKING AND FEELING. YOU KNOW EVERY THING ABOUT THEM. A LOVE THAT SPANS THE TEST OF TIME, AND IS DEEPER THAN THE BLUE SEA. A LOVE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL AS IF YOU ARE ON CLOUD 9, THAT PERSON IS LIKE A DRUG THAT YOU WONT QUIT BUT CHOOSE TO DO FOR EVER. YOU SEE YOUR SELF GROWING OLD WITH THIS PERSON,IF ANYONE FEELS ME ON THIS HOLLA BACK. PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL